Deleted Scenes from 'The Good Morrow'
by anyavioletta
Summary: Scenes that didn't make the final cut of 'The Good Morrow'. Only for interest... not to be taken too seriously. Read 'The Good Morrow' first, but don't read if you feel that it will wreck the original story for you. SBOC LJ
1. Chapter 1

**Deleted Scenes from 'The Good Morrow'**

**I was going through my folder for my story the other day and realised just how many chapters/scenes never made the final cut of my story. Whenever I watch movies, I always find it interesting to see the deleted scenes because it shows the process to the completed movie… and, in this case, novel.**

**The first scene which involved much 'reworking' is their first Yule Ball. I wrote this chapter before I was intending on writing my story as a novel, just as an idea. As you can see, the characters themselves are probably not as well-formed as they are in the actual chapter. Please don't go expecting high-quality from these deleted scenes… they really are only for enjoyment and interest purposes only.**

… **oh, and- by the way- if you haven't actually read my story 'The Good Morrow' don't bother trying to read this. You probably will have a hard time understanding much. **

'I can't believe it's tonight!' squealed Lily, excitedly curling her hair with her wand.

'Hmmm,' responded Helen, lost in thought.

'Aren't you going to put on your dress?' enquired Lily, surveying her unprepared friend with a frown.

'What? Oh, yes, my dress,' said Helen, absent-mindedly drying her hair.

Lily herself looked quite radiant in a bottle green (to match her eyes) silk, low-cut ball gown with a tight-fitting bodice.

'What's going on? We have to go in ten minutes and you haven't done anything!'

Helen's eyes widened, snapping out of her reverie.

'Ten minutes?' she whispered hoarsely, jumping up and bending over her trunk, throwing everything out of it onto her bed until she found her dress, folded in a box at the bottom of her trunk.

'Can you help me put it on?' 

Lily's eyes widened as she surveyed the dress.

'Wow, Helen… it's… it's… wow! Where did you get this?' she asked, not taking her eyes of the gown.

'It was my mother's. She said I could wear it. Just help me get it on now. I'm running late as it is… I don't know what I was thinking!'

Lily helped Helen with her dress, tightening the bodice ('can you breathe?' asked Lily surveying Helen's tiny waist) and fastening the buttons.

'Uh, Helen?' asked Lily tentatively.

'Go, go. It's fine. Don't wait for me. If you see Remus, though, just tell him I'll be down soon.'

With a final excited hug, Lily bounded out of the dorm and down the stairs to meet James.

After having set her hair in a low, elegant bun and having applied a small amount of makeup, Helen surveyed herself in the mirror.

Her reflection showed her long silver gown and its opal and rhinestone encrusted lining. She seemed to emanate a silvery glow around her. Pleased at the contrast to her normal appearance, she left the dormitory and the now-empty common room to meet Remus.

* * *

Helen descended down the stairs to the entrance outside the Great Hall. She had waited until there was no one to be seen outside the Gryffindor common room (where she had arranged to meet Remus) and he had not shown up. She thought she must have misunderstood and that he meant the Entrance Hall. She heard the music- the Blue Danube- playing serenely in the Great Hall. There was only one person standing outside the Great Hall. From the back he appeared to be extremely handsome- tall, with shiny black hair. He turned around. To Helen's dismay, she realised it was Sirius. He stared at her, looked her up and down, mouth open, and then looked elsewhere. Although they had had many fights and Helen had an acute dislike for Sirius, she couldn't help but wonder that he was being more than exceptionally rude to her by not even saying hello. Annoyed, however, that Remus was not to be seen, she cleared her throat.

'You wouldn't happen to know where Remus is would you?'

Sirius turned around, startled, eyes wide. He looked her up and down again, shocked. 

'Helen? Wow, I… I didn't recognise you at first!'

'Oh come off it. I don't look _that_ different. Anyway, have you seen Remus?'

Just as Helen asked this, she saw the snow falling from the bewitched ceiling and, incidentally, saw the full moon and sighed.

Sirius, who hadn't noticed this, said, 'he… he got really sick just half an hour ago. They had to take him to St Mungo's it was that bad. He asked me to tell you that he is really, really sorry…. He really was, by the way,' Sirius added as an afterthought.

Helen, feeling slightly disappointed, said, 'I should have guessed. Anyway, well, I suppose I will go and make actual productive use of this time.'

'Merry Christmas Sirius,' she added, as she turned to go back up the stairs.

She had not climbed five steps before Sirius shouted, 'Wait!' running up to be level with Helen.

'Yes?' Helen asked

'Well, I mean, ok. I know we have had a bad history… (to which Helen raised her eyebrows), but, I mean, we've both dressed up, there's a ball going on, and, well, it _is _Christmas so… I dunno, would you like to go with me to the ball?' he asked, hesitantly.

'I don't need your charity, Sirius. Honestly, I'm not upset about Remus. Go back to your date. I daresay, you have neglected her for quite a shocking amount of time as it is. It would be extremely bad manners to bring me as well. Anyway, I don't do double dates…'

'I haven't got a date.'

'What?' asked Helen in genuine surprise before she could stop herself. 

Sirius chose to ignore this. 'Listen, I'm not giving you any charity or anything. I'm simply asking you to go to the ball with me. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot and, I know that I am most of the time, but maybe I could show you that I'm not a 'complete jerk' (as I believe you once called me). Could we try to start anew?' he said, holding out his hand, looking into Helen's eyes with such an earnest expression on his face that she could help but feel a slight flutter in her stomach.

There was a tense pause. The suspense was terrible, unbearable, and… slowly, Helen raised her hand and shook it with Sirius.

'Mademoiselle,' Sirius said, with a bow, kissing it, at which Helen laughed. He then cleared his throught, and held out his arm for Helen to take as they descended down the stairs in a majestic fashion. 

Sirius kept stealing glances at Helen's face, which she in turn ignored, keeping her eyes fixed upon a point in the Entrance Hall. 

They had reached the doors to the Great Hall. It was at this point that Sirius noticed some uneasiness in Helen, as seemed very interested in the floor. 

'Well,' said Sirius, taking the initiative, 'shall we?'

Helen looked up, her eyes dancing. 'We shall,' she said, taking his arm as they pushed the door to the Yule Ball.

* * *

The song had just finished and, as they made their entrance, a hush fell over the whole school.

Everyone stared at the two of them in a mixture of disbelief and shock. No one could believe that the two could possibly ever work together on the same desk, let alone go as partners to the Yule Ball. Even James and Peter gaped at Sirius; for, as the arrangement itself was a 'spur of the moment' kind of thing, they too had been taken by surprise. Lily looked at Helen with an expression of disbelief.

Helen, realising the awkwardness of the situation, nudged Sirius to start walking, and the two made their way very briskly towards James and Lily.

Gradually, the room filled with sound and the music started playing again. People were, no doubt, discussing animatedly what they had just witnessed. The boys venting their frustration that Sirius had finally seduced the girl of their wildest fantasies and the girls over Helen's stealing yet another one of their crushes (whilst also making stiff remarks about her gown, although making a mental note at the same time to find one of a similar make). 

James pulled Sirius aside almost as soon as Helen and Sirius arrived at the table.

'What's wrong with you?' 

'What? Nothing. Never been better!' replied Sirius, keeping his eyes on Helen who was now being approached by Lily.

'What did she do to you? Did she give you love potion? Wha.. Sirius!' James said, imploring his friend to wrench his eyes from Helen and look at him.

'What?' Sirius asked impatiently. 'Listen, I'll talk to you later… and no, she has not drugged me. I'm the one who's surprised she accepted me without my needing to drug her! Anyway, not now,' he said, tapping his nose and returning to Helen.

* * *

Lily herself fashioned a similar conversation with Helen.

'What on earth are you doing? Where's Remus?'

'It seems as though he decided to be sick again tonight and so Sirius asked me if I would like to go with him instead. You know… seeing as we're all dressed up and all.'

'No, I don't know,' said Lily sternly.

'Listen, go back to James, we'll talk later. Have a good time!' Helen said, leaving to join Sirius who had just finished talking with James and was heading towards her.

* * *

Helen and Sirius sat at their table, quite silently. Both were struggling to find words to say, now that they were forced into having a civil conversation. Finally, after yet another group of girls walked past them, throwing extremely dirty looks at Helen, whilst smiling as serenely as they could at Sirius, he said,

'do you want to go for a walk?'

Helen, relieved that there would be an opportunity to break the ice between them which, seemed to compound by the second inside the hall, said, 'yes. It's getting a bit stuffy in here.'

Being as discrete as they could, they left the Great Hall.

As soon as they were outside, Sirius let out a sigh.

'I don't know about you, but I didn't feel too great about having nearly every guy in there looking as though they were about to lynch me for being with you!'

Helen laughed. 'Yeah, well, don't worry. It wasn't too different for me either. Seriously, those girls practically turned into vultures when they saw us together. It was quite funny though. I guess no one was expecting THAT… still, I suppose I've done them a favour in giving them yet another thing to talk about and yet another reason to hate me.' Helen said, shrugging.

They were walking slowly through the gardens which had been decorated with ice sculptures and sparkling lights, yet the air was misty, creating a smoky effect. It created quite a surreal atmosphere.

Sirius frowned, 'but why, and no offence meant here, but why do they, well… dislike you so much? I mean, I know we've had our differences, but it's not as though you're nasty, or by any means a dumpy kind of girl. I just don't get it.'

Helen found this quite amusing.

'Don't you? I should think it's quite obvious! Well, for one, there are my 'distractions,' which means- their boyfriends. Of course, I usually don't do it intentionally- well, there have been the occasional ones which are purely used for revenge, but, of course, no girl usually likes having her boyfriend, or any guy she's got a crush on taken by another girl. There is also the fact that I myself, without sounding like a snob here, just don't want to associate with girls like that. I mean, what would I be expected to talk about? Makeup, hair and boys all day? No thankyou. I have better things to do with my time. Also, the majority of them are so dim-witted that I don't think my patience could handle it.'

'Well, now you know what it's like being stuck alone with Peter,' laughed Sirius,'… so why, then. Why do you do it?'

'Do what?' Helen asked, rather innocently.

'Well… you know… all those guys?'

Helen paused for a moment. Sirius, was scared that he had pushed too far but, on looking at her, saw that she was frowning.

'You know, I don't quite get it myself. Well, I suppose it's like this. I have heaps of things going on in my life- I study a lot, there's quittage practise, and, when I can fit it in, daily piano practise as well… plus classes,' she added as an afterthought. 'So, naturally, my head is bursting most of the time. So, those guys, they're what I call my distractions. I don't love them… no way! I mean, they usually just last a day at the most. It's just, I don't know, a way of bringing me back to earth. And, by the way, I never 'do' them, as you have implied several times in our conversations,' Helen said, with a wry smile.

Sirius grinned (this had, for him, being a troubling point for him about Helen for some while).

'But, then, why do you make out to be so bad… because you're not, really…'

'And why do _you _make out to be such a bad-boy? Hmm?'

Sirius pondered this point, realising it was a good one.

'Well…'

'I don't think, for all our history together, that we are that different, Sirius (if I may be so bold as to say so myself). I think we both have sought distractions, not to deliberately hurt anyone, or cause any pain, but really, just to stay sane.'

She looked at Sirius, hopefully, to see if he agreed.

Sirius, looked down, nodding his head.

'You know, I never really tell anyone, I mean, James doesn't even really know- he wouldn't get it-but… I think you'll understand.'

Helen nodded, as they came to a bench and sat down.

'My… my family, well, you know, they're pure-blood right?'

'Right,' said Helen encouragingly, understanding that this kind of conversation was quite challenging for Sirius.

'And, well… I mean they're crazy! No, seriously, don't look at me like that, they are! They're always going on about things like, excuse the language, 'mudbloods' and they're all into Dark Magic. It's actually scary, sometimes, the things they do. I mean, am I going to be like that? I keep trying to convince myself that I'm adopted, to try and feel better about it, but, still, I'm related to them, and, as a side note on adoption, seeing their views on blood, I doubt very much that my parents are the adopting type.'

Sirius sighed, searching Helen for a response.

'You know, Sirius, just because you're related, well, to tell you the truth, it doesn't really mean anything. You yourself have morphed into the person who you are now. If you can see the error in their ways and are able to discern between right and wrong, you are far beyond worrying whether you are turning into a dark wizard. There is, of course, the fact that you are in Gryffindor which…'

'Oh! Don't get me started on their views on that!' said, Sirius, bitterly. 'Do you know how many howlers I was sent when they found out that I wasn't in Slytherin?'

'Yeah, sorry, I was there at the time. They were pretty nasty, I must admit…'

'Well, those were nothing compared to what I got when I got home. I'm always under house arrest.. "You are to be prohibited from fraternising with any muggles of any sort. You will have the opportunity to meet some very respectable 'pure-blood' witches and wizards your age on Friday night at our family gathering,"' said Sirius, mocking his mother.'Honestly, it's enough to make one sick!'

Helen gave a sad, knowing smile. 'I too know the feeling of house arrest…'

'Oh God, don't tell me! You're little miss angle at home?'

Helen raised her eyebrows, yet a wicked grin flittered across her lips.

Sirius nearly fell of the bench.

'I don't believe it! You are! What, are you daddy's little girl as well?'

Helen remained silent, and glanced with a pursed-lip grin up at Sirius.

'Dear me, well, what do you know? You learn something new every day!' Sirius exclaimed, pretending to be scandalised, and sinking back into the bench.

'Oh, get over yourself,' Helen said, turning round to face him.

'As if every girl's dad isn't protective of her,' then, as an afterthought, she added, 'yes, but I do suppose my daddy dearest is quite a bit more than most. You don't want to know the dramas it took for him to be persuaded to let me go to Hogwarts.'

'Well, he had good reason didn't he? Look what happened to his pure as snow angel? I bet you he doesn't know about your 'broom-cupboard' interludes?' Sirius said with an evil grin.

'Ha ha ha, very funny. Well, as a matter of fact, NO, he does NOT know, and that is how I would like to keep it. At least if I want to finish my education.'

'And what if he was aware that his little angel had a boyfriend?'

Helen frowned. 

'But I haven't got a 'boyfriend.' In fact, I've never had a 'boyfriend' per se…'

'You could…' Sirius said, in a manner which was so obvious that Helen was very well aware where this conversation was leading.

'And what if I don't want one?' Helen asked in mock defiance.

'Well, you will have your secret admirer pining over his broken heart at your rejection.'

'Oh, and who is this secret admirer of mine?' asked, Helen, leading him on in his game.

Sirius gave her a wry smile, and then adopted a more serious tone.

'Ok, seriously. Would you go out with me?'

Helen stood up. So did Sirius. She began to walk around him.

'I could,' she said, in his ear, before walking around to the other and whispering, 'but that would ruin my impeccable reputation of going out with losers…'

'Surely, that is not a reputation you wish to uphold?' asked Sirius, becoming more and more mesmerised by Helen.

'Well,' she whispered again, 'that's just the thing. To uphold or not to uphold? That is the question.' She said, very seriously.

Sirius nodded, smiling slightly.

'That is the question.' Helen said, in front of him, holding out her arms in a shrug, before turning to walk further down the path.

'So you won't then,' Sirius said mournfully, running to catch up to her.

Helen faced him, their faces just inches from each other.

'I'll think about it,' she said quietly, looking him in the eye.

A burst of music came out again from the great hall. She smiled, sadly, and looked down. 

Sirius, sensing this, took her waist and murmured 'dance with me.'

Head resting on his shoulder, they danced, without a word, feeling each other's heart beat into their chest. Helen closed her eyes as she felt tears coming to her eyes. She had felt so alone, for so long. Could she dare to allow herself to trust Sirius, to widen her circle for two? She dismissed these thoughts, trying to make the moment, which was so delicate, so innocent, so tentative, last.

When the music died down, they merely stood against each other. Feeling the tension, the longing between the two souls. Eventually, another, jive-like song burst out, forcing them to separate. This happened slowly. Helen turned her head to face Sirius, eyes downcast. Sirius, in turn, faced Helen as they leant further closer to each other, feeling each other's quickening breath on their faces. Gradually, their lips met, and they kissed, tentatively at first, but then, after separating once, more passionately. This kiss, however, was not like the others Helen, or Sirius, for that matter, had experienced. It was with gravity, with patience and consideration. It wasn't lustful, but, rather, almost child like. They were, in essence, two children, having made an important discovery, savouring the moment to enjoy it. 

It started snowing. Delicate flakes caressing their skin and hair. With the snow, however, came cold. Helen, wearing only a thin gown of gossamer, gave a slight shiver. Sirius took off his jacket, wrapped it around her, and, with his arm around her shoulder, and a kiss on her forehead said, 'let's get inside. It's getting a bit cold.'

* * *

The two walked quietly back to the castle, as though words were not necessary. This silence, however, was not awkward but merely added to the serenity felt by the two then. Once they reached the Entrance Hall and heard the raucous notice from within the Great Hall, Sirius was relieved to see that Helen looked rather reluctant to return to the hall.

'Do you just want to go to the common room?' Sirius asked, quietly.

Helen nodded, and they went, hand in hand to the warmth of the common room which, due to everyone's attendance at the Yule ball, was empty. They sat together on a couch in front of the fire.

After a while of staring into the warm flames, Helen asked, 

'what do you think's going to happen to our life? I mean, we finish school in two years and then what? Doesn't it ever scare you where we'll end up? I'll have to move out of home for sure, but where will I go? What will I do? Don't you ever think about things like that? We've got careers meetings in a few weeks and I haven't the faintest idea what I'll become.'

Sirius didn't reply for a while. Then, slowly, he said,

'I think about that too. I can't stay with my parents. I'll die. But, it's as you said; where do you go? I just don't know. I suppose I try not to think about it too much. I still have a bit more time to get away with not thinking about it.' After a pause, however, he said, 'you should become a singer. I've never heard a voice like yours before. I mean, I'd never been affected by a voice before I heard you.'

Helen laughed. 'Oh, you flatter me. But I don't know where that would lead me… but I do love it.'

'And you must be the best actress in the world…' Sirius added, cheekily.

Helen got up from his shoulder. 

'And, pray, explain what you mean by that.'

'Well, simply that you are a fantastic manipulator and, if you can work on people's minds the way you do, I'm sure you would be magical in manipulating your audience.'

Helen threw Sirius a reproving look, pursing her lips to refrain them from smiling. She then got up from the couch and started walking towards the girls' dormitories.

'Oh, come on, I didn't mean it as anything bad…. Don't go…'

'I'll just be a minute. If you don't mind, silk gowns are not the most comfortable ones for lounging around in. Also, I don't know about you, but I'm starving,' she said, walking up the stairs.

A minute later, she was down, wearing pyjamas, and holding a case.

'What's in that?' asked Sirius, eyeing the case.

'Well, the girls have a stash of 'slumber party' stuff… it's got food and games so I thought we'd see,' she said, opening the box.

* * *

They were lying on the floor in front of the fire, leaning over a game of chess, laughing. 

'Oh my gosh! I can't believe I just did that!' said, Helen, incredulous at herself for losing her queen.

'Well, if I am able to distract you of all people with my wiles, it seems that I have perfected my charming skills,' said Sirius, laughing.

Helen gave Sirius a mock reprimanding look and, with a smile twisting in her lips, said, 'knight to B4.' 

Sirius watched in horror as Helen's knight took his own queen and his king threw off his crown.

'I believe that would be… now, what was it called, hmmmm…. Checkmate!' said Helen, throwing her head back and laughing at Sirius' stunned face.

'But… how? What… how did?' he stammered.

'Obviously,' Helen said, 'this proves that not only am I impervious to your seductive wiles, but you yourself may be the one who is, in fact, in danger from your associations with me!' still laughing at Sirius.

'Yeah, I didn't need you to tell me that. Detention with you already proved that,' muttered Sirius, sullenly whilst recalling their detention which had turned into quite a large-scale duel.

'Please don't tell me that you're a sore loser?' asked Helen, steering away from the topic of that detention.

Sirius looked up, grinning. 'No, I am afraid I am a terrible loser and will be in need of great comforting,' he whispered, leaning closer.

'Well, aren't you lucky that I'm here,' whispered Helen back, as they started kissing, chess pieces knocking over.

* * *

It was midnight. They were leaning against each other with a couch for support in front of the fire.

'So…' said Sirius, breaking the silence.

'So.' Replied Helen, sensing where the conversation might lead.

'Will you go out with me?' he said quietly, fiddling with the ring on Helen's hand which was interlocked with his own.

Helen stared into the flames and thought, with a sad irony, that her self of a month ago would murder her for what she was about to reply with.

'Yes,' she murmured, continuing to stare into the fire.

'I'm… I'm not just going to be a 'distraction,' will I?'

He had said the wrong thing. Helen, already feeling vulnerable at having enjoyed spending the evening with him and having beared her soul out to him just earlier suddenly was incensed that he could ask such a thing.

She stood up. 

'What are you saying?' she asked, testily.

Sirius too stood up.

'Well, I don't know how you've been with the other guys, but I don't want to be used, that's all.'

'Are you saying,' she said, voice shaking, 'that, even after everything I've told you tonight, you still think I would be like that? Or maybe you're calling me a slut?' she said, glaring.

Sirius muttered something, but Helen caught the word 'history.'

Feeling very stupid, she yelled, 'so what, did you just ask me tonight to finally show everyone that you 'got me'? Is that what it was? A big prank? Well, fine, you 'got me.' But, just so you know, I'm smarter than all those half-wits you go out with so I won't be fooled.'

'Oh yeah?' Sirius, said, voice rising, 'well I seemed to have fooled you for most of the evening.'

It was at this point that the portrait opened and many people started spilling into the common room, stopping when they saw, in front of them, the spectacle of Helen glaring at Sirius, livid with anger.

'So that's what it was then?' she shouted.

'Yeah, that's all it was…'

'Fine,' she said, turning and making her way to the Girl's Dormitory.

The whole common room watched, stunned in silence.

'Wait…' Sirius said, running up to her and grabbing her hand.

'Don't touch me!' Helen said, her voice a deadly warning, pulling her hand away from him.

'Aw, come on Helen. I didn't mean it, please…' he said, grabbing her around the waist.

SLAP

Helen slapped Sirius that he staggered back as she ran up the stairs. There was an awkward silence as Sirius looked around at everyone, realising they were staring at him.

'Oh, get over yourselves,' he muttered, stalking up to the boy's dormitory.

* * *

Helen surveyed her suitcase which she had hurriedly packed. She had enough to last the journey to Australia and all of her books. She had enough clothes at home anyway. She looked in the mirror quickly. Her hair was still was curly today. She wore jeans, black boots, and a black turtleneck jumper as a top. She grabbed her coat and pulled her suitcase down the stairs, still in a bad mood from the night before. She was glad to see that the common room was empty and that she would not have to face any confrontations about last night.

She walked out of the castle and ran to Professor McGonagall who was standing by the train with her list.

'Please, professor, I know I'm not on the list, but I received this letter,' she said, handing a forged letter to McGonagall, 'last night. I have to go home. My father's ill.'

McGonagall believed it. She looked at Helen with a kind smile and said, 'that's very understandable. Very well, just load up your suitcase in the back.'

Having loaded her suitcase with all the trunks, and as Helen was about to mount the train, which was leaving in exactly two minutes, she felt someone grab her arm gently and pull her back.

She gasped and spun around to face Sirius.

'You!' she said, anger returning, despite her feeling a little flattered that he had pursued her to the train.

'Please, Helen. Give me another chance. I feel like a complete idiot. I shouldn't have asked you that, I know. It was wrong of me… Why are you leaving? You're not going because of me are you?' he asked.

'Don't flatter yourself so much… you're not worth that much.' Helen said, about to step on the train.

Sirius pulled her arm back.

'No, you can't leave… come on, give me another chance.' He said, pleading with her.

'Please let go of my arm. I have a train to catch.' Helen said, turning away from Sirius as McGonagall shouted,

'Asteria, if you want to catch the train, you had better get on now or else you will miss it.'

'I have to go,' Helen said, wrenching her arm away from Sirius.

'Helen, come on…' he said, pulling her back and kissing her.

Angry, more that he did this in front of McGonagall than any other reason, Helen slapped him, pushed him away from her and stepped onto the train.

* * *

Sirius watched hopelessly as the train retreated. He couldn't help but think that Helen had kissed him back for even a split second of his kiss. Helen herself, as she sat in an empty compartment smiled to herself. She had Sirius exactly where she wanted him. She didn't even really care that much about what he said, although it annoyed her. She felt that she was too vulnerable the night before, enjoyable as it was. They needed some separate time for now before she regained her strength in the situation.

* * *

The two remaining weeks of the holidays tortured Helen. She found herself dreaming about Sirius- a happening which was new to her and one which she found most unfavourable. She immersed herself as much as she could in her studies, determined to beat him in every single subject. 

* * *

Upon returning to Hogwarts, Helen made a point of ignoring Sirius. Whenever he came too close she would walk in the opposite direction, taking care that she was always with Lily so as not to be cornered by him. Lily proved to be quite helpful. She too was not too happy with James' behaviour at the Yule Ball, muttering something about 'groping bastard' whenever Helen asked. They had agreed to swap places in transfiguration, so that Lily was next to Sirius and Helen with James. 

A month passed and Helen and Sirius had not spoken so much as 'hello' to each other. One day, during dinner, Helen found Sirius sitting next to her. She sighed, expecting the conversation she had avoided all term. To her surprise, however, he merely continued his conversation to James, ignoring her. After he had eaten he got up with James and left, without so much as a glance in her direction.

Helen could not help but feel disappointed at this. Lying on her bed that night, she felt, despite how hard she fought to keep them at bay, salty tears burn her face. She had not played her cards properly with Sirius and now she faced the possibility that he had lost any interest in her whatsoever. Despite what how much she had tried to convince herself that she didn't, there was no doubt in her mind that she liked Sirius.

* * *

After a sleepless night, she arose at 5.30 am, looking dishevelled. She contemplated studying before breakfast but, after reading the same sentence over a hundred times, she gave up and, instead, decided to go for a walk to clear her head.

She walked down the steps to the castle, the cool February wind blowing her long hair behind her. She wrapped her cloak around her and kept walking. The sky was white, with black clouds edging nearer the castle, threatening to burst. She was walking for nearly an hour, completely lost in her thoughts. After passing the whomping willow, near the forbidden forest she heard a rustle on the ground. She turned to see, briefly, a group of students closing in on her before being knocked to her feet. As she reached for her wand, she heard Bellatrix say 'expelliarmus' with a laugh as Helen looked hopelessly at Lestrange twirling her only hope for defence in his fingers, laughing manically.

She surveyed them; Bellatrix, Lestrange, Dolohov, McNair and the Carrows as they circled her. 

'Hello Mudblood,' said Bellatrix, a hungry gleam in her eyes.

'Good morning Bellatrix,' said Helen stiffly, knowing full well what was to follow. 'Did you wish to speak with me? Surely you didn't think I would attack you if you wanted a conversation?'

'Speak with you? Ha! I do not converse with filthy mudbloods,' shrieked Bellatrix as the others roared with laughter.

'Well, that is a pity for your sake. I cannot help but wonder, however, why you sought to disarm me? Surely, if I am a… 'mudblood,' one who is unworthy of practising magic, you would not consider me a threat when surrounded by six pure-bloods.'

* * *

**Yes. So you can see that it's not as good- well, that's what I think, anyway.** **Originally, Helen and Sirius didn't know each other as well as they did in the actual story- i.e. they never spent that summer together or as much time talking together…. And kissing, for that matter, as they ended up doing. Helen was also a singer originally, but I changed my mind about that and made her a pianist instead because if she was a singer, I definitely would agree with comments on her leaning towards the 'Mary-Sue' end. Also, she wasn't 'friends' with James at all originally, but only friends with Lily and Remus.**

**Well, let me know if you find this interesting. If so, I shall put more chapters up- including ones which you have never even seen before. If not, I'll just delete this story and get on with finishing the actual one!**

**Love Anya**


	2. Chapter 2

**Now we have a variation of the scene in which Helen's parents disowned her. By this stage, I hadn't formulated my 'Asteria Curse' theory, and the story was still a very basic love story structurally. Helen was sick and sent to St Mungo's, and her parents walked in on her with Sirius leading to the rest:**

The next few days were fairly quiet. Helen's improvement was rapid and she was even permitted to walk through the hospital with Sirius on the third day. The fourth day, however, proved to become one of the blackest days in Helen's life.

She was sitting against the inclined mattress, talking with Sirius. It was just as he kissed her that their door burst open and her father and mother rushed in.

'Helen!' cried her mother, rushing towards her daughter and looking over her anxiously.

Her father, however, stood at the door with a stony expression on his face.

'Who is that?' He asked, his voice shaking as he pointed a finger at Sirius.

Helen gulped. She had not expected her parents to visit. Neither had she told them, or intended on telling them about Sirius, anticipating their reaction.

'Er… mum, dad, this is Sirius,' Helen said, in a quavery voice.

Sirius seemed to have noticed the situation too as Helen noticed his back was straighter than she could have ever dreamed of seeing it.

'Get out,' breathed Helen's father venomously at Sirius, motioning the door.

Helen, although she understood her father's anger, could not allow for him to treat Sirius, whom she loved so much and who loved her, to be treated like that.

Sirius went to leave. Helen placed a hand on his arm, pulling him back.

'Listen, it's okay, I'll just wait outside,' he whispered.

'No, Sirius, it's not okay. I can't let you be treated like that.'

Sirius sat down, rather reluctantly.

'Dad, please don't talk to Sirius like that. He's my… he has saved my life three times…'

'Two, actually,' corrected Sirius.

'No, three. When you called out to me, you gave me strength. I would have died otherwise. Dad, Sirius means a lot to me and… and I would appreciate if you could, please accept him.'

No one had been even able to anticipate it. Her father crossed the room in two steps and delivered a stinging blow across her face. Her mother screamed, 'Steve!', and tried to shield her daughter.

Sirius had stood up, wand drawn in one hand, holding Helen in the other.

'The ungrateful… BITCH! Like a slut! We raise her with love, look after her, and then she runs of to this school and next thing we know she's got _boyfriends_. Well I've got news for you, missy, if you ever dare come home you'll see. You'll see. You are no daughter of mine. You are never to contact this family ever again,' he spat, turning on his heel.

Helen's mother looked at Helen, stricken. She then followed her husband, crying 'Steve, please!' Helen's siblings looked at her as though she was a dirty towel and followed their father out of the room. 

Helen tore herself from Sirius' embrace and limped out of the room, despite Sirius' protests, screaming.

'DAD!' she cried. He did not even look back at her but spat on the floor and continued further down the corridor. 

'MUM,' sobbed Helen. "MUM, PLEASE, MUM. MUM! MUM! Noooo! PLEASE, MUM! DON'T LEAVE ME! MUM!' Helen sank to her knees and kept on screaming for her mum until she was hoarse.

Sirius hurried out of her room and picked her up. She started kicking and screaming.

'LET ME GO! LET ME GO! MUM! MUM! PLEASE! MUM!' 

She started punching Sirius, sobbing.

'Ouch! Listen, OUCH!'

She started beating his chest, whilst crying on his shoulder.

Sirius enveloped her around his arms.

'Sh… Sh… Helen, it's okay.' Helen tore herself from his arms, looking wild.

'Okay? OKAY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN OKAY? I HAVE NO MONEY, NO HOME, NO PARENTS AND YOU'RE TELLING ME IT'S OKAY? HOW AM I MEANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL WITHOUT ANY MONEY? HOW AM I MEANT TO SURVIVE DURING HOLIDAYS? HOW AM I MEANT TO SURVIVE? I HAVE NOTHING. NOTHING! AND YOU SIT THERE TELLING ME IT'S OKAY?'

'Well,' said Sirius rather coldly, 'I didn't know I meant so little to you.' He said, getting up to leave.

'OH THAT'S JUST GREAT. JUST GREAT. GO ON! LEAVE ME TOO! FANTASTIC! MY PARENTS JUST ABANDONED ME BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME TOO. THAT'S BRILLIANT. JUST BRILLIANT.' She said, turning around from him, breathing heavily.

The magnitude of Helen's words had just hit Sirius and he felt immediately terrible for his previous words. Her parents _had_ just abandoned Helen for him. It was his fault.

Tentatively, he put a hand on Helen's shoulder which she shrugged off. Sirius was not affronted, however. He realised that how upset Helen was.

He sat on the bed. The were back to back now.

'Helen. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your parents did that to you. You don't deserve that. If anything, they should be so proud of you- the smartest witch in the school, let alone in the year, not to mention the fact that you're such a great person.'

Helen snorted.

'Funny that. I've been called a slut twice this week.'

This comment stung Sirius as he realised that he was one of the times.'

'Helen… please, you know I didn't really mean that. I was just upset.'

Helen was silent. This encouraged Sirius.

'You don't have to, I would understand if you didn't want to, but I would really like it if you would consider it at least.'

'What?' asked Helen. He could hear the tears in her throat. He felt it was safe now to face her. He got off the bed and sat in a chair opposite her. She kept her head down. Gently, Sirius, cupped her cheek, which was wet, in his hand. Helen took the hand in her and took a deep breath.

'I'm sorry,' she said in a small voice.

'No, I'm sorry,' Sirius said. 

'What… what were you saying?' Helen hiccoughed.

'Well, You know how I got kicked out of home?'

Helen nodded.

'Well, my uncle Alphard left me his house and a heap of gold not long after. So I'm going to go and live there for these holidays. And, well, I was going to ask you anyway, but now especially… well, you know,- I was wondering, would you like to live with me?'

'What?' Helen asked, not thinking she understood Sirius.

'Do you want to move in with me?'

'Live with you?' Helen asked uncertainly.

'Of course,' he replied quickly, 'I understand. I just thought, well, maybe…'

But he was cut short because Helen had begun to kiss him passionately.

'I'll take that as a yes then, shall I?' he said, rather weakly, after they had finally broken apart.

Helen smiled. 

**Oh, and Helen never met Alphard and received that ring either, in this version… which, I guess, shows just how complicated my actual has become from what it was!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, this is the original 'first date' scene. I found it was a little too fake and cliched for my taste... and not really 'Helen-Sirius-ish' enough. Anyway... here is what didn't make the story:**

'Aren't you coming to Hogsmeade?' Lily asked, walking up to Helen who seemed possessed by her Charms homework.

Helen kept on writing, oblivious to Lily's questions.

'Hem Hem… HELEN!' Lily shouted in Helen's ear.

Helen jumped up surprised.

'What was that for?' she asked irritably.

'Aren't you coming to Hogsemeade?'

'What? Oh, erm… yes, but not now.'

'Why not?'

'well, I've got to finish this now.'

'Ok, so when will you be there?'

'Oh, around two…'

'Where should I meet you then?'

Helen seemed very busy with her fingernails and muttered something unintelligible.

'What?' Lily asked, confused.

Helen looked at Lily, a little scared.

'Um, well, I'm… don't you dare laugh, or worse, think I'm confuded, but, well… I'm going with Sirius,' she finished, rather lamely.

'You are? That's…great, I think. Well, don't say I never told you what I thought of him… but what am I going to do then?'

'Oh, come on Lily. You have many friends. You won't be lonely.'

'But I wanted you to see this dress I liked!'

'Maybe next time. Or, better still, if you like it that much, just buy it.'

'Well, maybe I will. Now, be careful with Black won't you?'

'Yes, yes. Whatever,' Helen said, looking back down at her essay.

'I mean it!'

'Okay. Thank you, mum, for your wonderful advice.'

Lily looked at Helen shrewdly for a second.

'Well, I'm off then.'

'Okay. Bye!' Helen said, already writing again.

* * *

Helen had busied herself as best she could with homework to try and forget about her date with Sirius. For some reason, she couldn't help but feel nervous.

---

Helen was a little late. Five minutes late, to be exact. She thought, however, that this was necessary. It was better, in any case, to be late than early to dates. 

Sirius was already waiting for her at the gate.

'Hi,' Helen said, patting his arm to get him to look in her direction.

'Oh, hey! You turned up!' he said, with an obvious hint of relief in his voice.

'Meaning?' Helen asked, her eyebrows raised.

'Erm… nothing,' he said, quickly trying to change the subject, 'so, uh, how are you?'

'Oh, you know, not too bad. Then again, not much has happened between now and last night. What about you?'

'Yeah, well, seeing as I'm finally going out with you now, I'm great!'

They both laughed. Nonetheless, Helen could not shake of the feeling that there was a slight tension between them.

'Have you been here long?' she asked.

'I came here with James. He wanted to visit Zonko's to…'

'Annoy the hell out of Filch?' Helen finished, an eyebrow raised comically.

A devilish grin spread on Sirius' face.

'Oh, just you wait. It'll be fantastic! That old slimeball won't know what hit him. I've been wanting to get him back ever since he made us clean the dungeon bathrooms without any magic.'

Helen wrinkled her nose. They were disgusting.

'I know. They're terrible. It was… one of the worst experiences of my life.' He said solemly.

'You've had worse?'

'Well, you know, there are holidays.'

'Why are they so bad? Aren't they meant to be fun?' Helen asked surprised.

'Well, not when you have parents like my own.'

'Sorry. I forgot about them.' Helen apologised, remembering their conversation at the Yule Ball.

'Yeah, I try to too.'

They walked in silence for a small while.

'You know, it's hard to imagine that you come from a family like that. You seem so… I don't know… confident and happy with your life at school, and, so unlike your cousins,' Helen said.

'I should hope so,' Sirius growled. 'I guess I seem like that to you because I'm at school. I love it here. I've got my friends and I can do whatever without copping it from my parents and, trust me, Filch is like a cute teddy bear compared to them.'

Helen nodded and Sirius cleared his throat quickly.

'Anyway, let's not talk about them now. I don't want to think about them any more than I have to. They don't deserve it… shall we go in here?' he said, stopping outside Madam Puddifoot's café.

'Yeah, here's fine.' Helen said, walking in as he held the door for her. 

They found a table in the corner of the café and sat down. 

'May I take your orders?' Madam Puddifoot asked, coming over to them.

'A coffee for me,' Sirius said.

'Me too,' Helen replied, as Madam Puddifoot went off.

They looked at each other for a moment, in silence.

'You know,' Helen said, a wry smile coming on her face, 'I think we've spoken more during our fights than during actual conversations.'

'It is a fact which greatly saddens me.' Sirius said solemnly. 'Then again, I was always secretly glad whenever we had fights.'

'Why?' Helen asked, incredulously.

'Because it meant I had your undivided attention for at least a short amount of time and, I guessed that was more than what most other guys (except for Remus, I guess) who you went off with could boast. I always got the sense that you were never too interested in them.'

Helen laughed.

'Well, you sensed correctly. And I never shouted that much at Remus. Actually, I don't think I've ever shouted at him. He's too good and too nice to shout at.'

'What does that make me?'

'Well, you drove me insane when I was younger… still do actually. The thing is, liking someone makes you go insane too so, I suppose, after I developed hormones it was only a matter of time before I got confused with whether I liked you or whether I hated you and, instead of hating you, ended up liking you. Go figure.'

'I know exactly what you mean.' 

'Honestly, though. I don't understand how we're even here together at all.'

'You don't?'

'I always thought you hated me.'

'What? Because of that stupid prank James and I pulled on you on our first day of school?'

'Well…'

'No. I never hated you. Okay, sometimes you pissed me off like you wouldn't believe…'

'Now, that doesn't sound like me at all…'

Sirius laughed.

'Oh, trust me. You could really get on my nerves. Especially in class when you would beat me.'

'Hey, I worked hard for that!'

'I inspired you to study?'

Helen gave a sheepish grin.

'Well, I couldn't have the upper hand in our arguments if I wasn't better than you, or, at least as good as you.'

Sirius blinked for a second.

'Wow. You know. I always knew I had a huge effect on girls, but it seems that the one girl who I thought I could never affect has been the most affected by me.'

'Please. Don't flatter yourself.'

'Et voila! Deux cafes!' said Madam Puddifoot, placing the two coffees on the table before scurrying off.

'Anyway… so how were your careers meeting with McGonagall?' Sirius asked, changing the subject as he stirred sugar into his coffee.

'Well, she got a bit peeved with me. She kept on saying something about wasted potential because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I don't know. I've thought about maybe becoming an auror (it sounds pretty cool) or maybe a healer. I definitely don't want a desk/admin job. That would drive me crazy.'

'An auror? I reckon you'd be one of the best because, although I hate to admit it, you're scary to duel with.'

Helen laughed.

'Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's a pretty relevant job with all those Death Eaters and… what's his name? Voldemort?'

Sirius shuddered. 

'Yeah, and I can tell you a few more names who will be joining _his _list of supporters,' he said grimly.

Helen's eyes glazed over as she remembered the events of the day before.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind you of yesterday…' Sirius said, softly.

Helen shrugged. 'I don't mind. It doesn't really bother me that much, to tell you the truth. I mean, it's not like it surprised me that they would do something like that and, yeah, I'm sure she will be the first person to join Voldemort when she leaves school.'

Sirius looked down for a second and then said quietly, 'You use his name?'

'Who?'

'Voldemort.'

'Why shouldn't I? It's his name isn't it?'

Sirius nodded. 'Yeah, it's just most people don't use it. They're scared.'

'Well, I don't blame them. The thing is, though, it's just a name. I mean, if you're scared to use his name, how do you even stand the slightest chance of pulling yourself together if you're faced with him?'

'That's true. It's just a way of looking the other way when the real problems are staring right in front of them. A way of their delaying the inevitable.'

'A bit like death huh? My dad- if I ever talk about dying or something- he seizes up and get's really angry. He's like: don't talk about that! But, it makes me think, sometimes. Why be scared of it? It is, as you said, 'the inevitable.' If you can accept that then, whenever you have to go, the passing, I'm sure, would be easier than if you couldn't accept it as a natural phenomenon.'

'I think people are just scared of it because it's the unknown,' Sirius said, thoughtfully.

'Care to expand?'

'Well, we don't know what happens after life. No one does. It's a bit like the dark, right? Just say you're walking in the dark. You don't know what/who you might bump into, what might happen. So, naturally, it scares you. That's probably why some people are scared of the dark. I assume it's almost the same thing with death.' Sirius shrugged.

Helen sat thoughtfully. 'Hmmm. That's true… my dad would never understand that, though.'

'Not many people would, I imagine…'

Helen took a sip of her coffee and started laughing.

'What's so funny,' Sirius asked with a bemused expression.

'Oh, everything. I mean, how on earth did we move from my careers appointment to such a philosophical breakdown of the meaning of life and death?'

Sirius grinned. 'I don't know. It was a pretty smooth, albeit slightly morbid, transition. Now, tell me, honestly, do you reckon my man Potter has a chance with a certain red-haired friend of yours?'

Helen laughed.

'You know,' she began very seriously. 'I've read Lily's palm countless times in Divination and, time and time again I see the same thing. Not only is she destined to be with Potter, but she will marry him and have, well, so far I've only seen one child but, hey, you never know!'

'Well, I'll be sure to pass on the message to James. I'll have to be very stern with him, though, because I think he may have a mad urge to kiss the life out of you for bearing such tidings.'

Helen shook her head, grinning. 

'No thanks, I mean, I'm sure he's a nice boy when he wants to be, but Potter's not my type.'

'No? Then what is your type?' Sirius asked raising his eyebrows.

'Hmmm. They have longish, black hair…'

'Okay. I get it. I'm your type. As long as…'

'And a hook nose.'

Sirius choked on his coffee.

'Please stop confusing me with Snape. It's really starting to worry me.'

'Haha. I'm only joking. I'm not too fond of Snape's nose. I much prefer yours.'

'Even though you once tried to break it?' asked Sirius, raising an eyebrow

'Well, at that stage any part of your body was the most vile thing on earth and, seeing as you had just told the world that I had being having sex with James, it wasn't so much your 'nose' which I wanted to break but to cause you as much pain as possible,' said Helen seriously.

'Yes, well, I won't be spreading rumours about you anymore, that's for sure… I might also add that I should hope that you prefer my nose to Snape's, seeing as you're on a date with me, not him,' said Sirius seriously, obviously troubled by Snape.

Helen smiled and finished her coffee.

It was beginning to get dark outside, threatening rain.

'Shall we go? It's getting late.'

Helen nodded and they both got up.

'Hang on a tick…' Helen said, going to pay for the coffees.

'Hey, no way. I asked you out, I pay for the bill.' Sirius said, pulling her arm.

'Yes, but, considering yesterday, the least I can do is buy coffee.'

'No. It doesn't work like that.'

'Why not?'

'Listen,' Sirius said rather irritably, 'just don't do this. Let me get the coffees.'

'Oh, for Christ's sakes! It's only coffee. Why can't I?'

'Because I said no. Now, stop making a scene and wait for me here.' Sirius snapped.

'Like hell I am,' Helen said, walking with him to the counter.

Sirius, however, had already paid for them. He grabbed her arm, and led her out of the shop.

Helen stopped walking and crossed her arms.

'What?' said Sirius, exasperatedly, turning to face her.

'Why didn't you let me pay?'

'Oh my God. We are not fighting over this. Okay, look. You can pay next time.'

'Promise?'

'Okay, yes. I promise!'

Helen's lips twitched. Just then, it started raining, heavily.

'Argh! Helen!' Sirius called, unable to see her through the heavy rain.

'I'm here,' Helen called, finding his hand. 

'Come with me, we'll take a shortcut,' said Sirius, leading her as they ran through the muddied streets of Hogsmeade. Eventually, he found a trapdoor, which he led her through. They entered a dank passageway.

* * *

**As you can see, there are elements which I kept and elements which... I didn't. Oh well, that's what editing is for!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This was the original 'Selene's Eclipse' chapter. Amiel is some girl Sirius' parents were trying to set him up with... and I really felt, in the end, that this chapter was not really 'in-character' for any of them. I doubt Sirius was that good, and his father definately wouldn't have been 'good' either. Anyway. That's why it's here!**

It was a dreary and dull day which signalled the end of the two week Easter Break. Helen sighed as she roused from her sleep, squinting her eyes in a desperate bid to fall back asleep and not face her first class; transfiguration. Alas, her attempts to delay the inevitable were futile as her hangings were drawn back by Lily who told her, rather sternly that, if she didn't get up straight away, she would miss breakfast and have to go to class on an empty stomach until lunch.

'All right, all right. I'm up,' Helen mumbled, turning over and nestling into her pillow.

Lily pulled the covers of Helen, exposing her to the merciless English elements.

'Gah!' exclaimed Helen, springing up, shivering.

'Now you're up,' said Lily, her lips twitching. 'Hurry up, or else I won't wait for you,' she said, rather sternly, turning to her satchel and organising her books.

Five minutes later, Helen emerged from the bathroom, dressed in her school robes and her face freshly washed. It was amazing, Lily thought, how different she looked after merely washing her face.

'Aren't you going to tie your hair back?' asked Lily, as Helen, yawning, and crammed her books in her own satchel and walked over to Lily, ready to leave.

'What? Oh… can't be bothered. Let's just go. I've got a h… h…hairtie if I need it,' Helen said, yawning again.

Lily smiled at Helen who looked like a zombie, walking with her eyes half closed.

'Perhaps you should get to sleep earlier, next time,' Lily said in a reprimanding voice.

Helen grimaced in response, obviously too tired to even retort.

'Ah! Tell them to shut up,' Helen mumbled, holding her hands to her ears as they entered into the cacophonous noise of the Great Hall. 

They sat down at Gryffindor table. Lily started helping herself to breakfast, shaking her head at Helen who immediately put her head in her arms; obviously trying to salvage a few more minutes of sleep.

'Is that the hello I receive?' came a voice next to Helen.

Helen did not respond, obviously already asleep.

'HELEN! SIRIUS JUST ASKED YOU A QUESTION,' Lily shouted in Helen's ear, laughing.

Helen sat up wearily and looked at Lily.

'What are you talking about? Sirius isn't here, he's...' 

Sirius tapped her on the shoulder.

'YOU'RE BACK!' she exclaimed, hugging him; obviously fully awake by now.

'And very glad to be so,' he said, a hint of grimness in his tone. Nonetheless, he looked hungrily into her face.

'I missed you,' he said quietly.

'Me too,' Helen said. 'I got your letter. I wish I could have responded but… I didn't want to make it worse,' she said apologetically, taking the coffee which Sirius offered her.

Sirius shrugged.

'You were right, though. Just writing them made me feel heaps better. I did feel guilty, though, writing such long rants to you. Sorry. They mustn't have been that interesting.'

Helen shook her head and smiled sadly.

'I like long letters… of course, if they were happier letters I would like them even more,' she added.

'Oh well, they're over now… I can revert to my normal mischievous self now,' Sirius said, grinning.

Helen rolled her eyes and finished her coffee.

* * *

'You are one of the hardest people to find,' Sirius said, slumping into a chair next to Helen in the empty classroom in which she was studying in.

Helen looked up and smiled.

'Well, I find I don't study that well in the library… or anywhere where there are any people to distract me.'

'So I would be a _distraction_ now then, would I?' Sirius said, grinning.

'Yes. You would,' she said, grinning nonetheless at his twisting of her words.

'Well, I won't distract you too long.'

'What a pity,' said Helen, looking through her notes.

'Ahem.' Sirius cleared his throat, obviously wanting her attention.

'What?' Helen said, raising her eyebrows, but still rummaging through her notes.

Sirius sighed. 

'Figure it out. I'm gone two weeks and now that I'm finally back, I can't have your attention for more than five minutes,' he said, more to himself.

Helen stopped rummaging and turned to look at him intently.

Sirius laughed at her look, which she relaxed.

'Well?' Helen asked, expectantly.

'Okay, I have a problem with that. Seeing as you're my girlfriend, I should be able to talk to you just for the heck of it and not have to say anything in particular or ask you for anything,' he said.

'But I know you came here to ask me for something, or else you would have talked to James for the heck of it,' said Helen knowingly.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

'Okay, well, I was going to ask you to meet me tonight at around eleven in the common room.'

'What for?' Helen said, eyeing him suspiciously.

'I have a surprise for you,' Sirius said, his eyes twinkling.

'At eleven o'clock?' Helen said, raising her eyebrows.

'Alas, I have no control over that aspect. Though I think it is more _romantique_ at night anyway,' he said, grinning.

'Now, I am very well of the sort of _romantique_ things you usually get up to with your girlfriends during the night. I am telling you, however, that your current girlfriend will NOT be doing anything remotely related to that sort of act,' Helen said, rather sternly.

'Get your mind out of the gutter, Asteria. You're not the type one takes advantage of, anyway. Now… I advise you to dress very warmly because it will be outside,' he said, still not letting on exactly what they were going to be doing.

'Outside? I suppose you have a way of getting us outside without being seen?'

'Yeah, James has an invisibility cloak.'

Helen opened her mouth to protest, but Sirius interrupted.

'Look, I promise we won't get caught sneaking out. If you don't like my idea, we can go back any time and you can be in bed by 11.30 at the latest,' Sirius said, reasonably.

Helen considered for a few seconds before sighing.

'Okay. 11 pm. Done.'

Sirius beamed.

There was a silence as the two looked at each other. 

Finally, Helen said: 'Okay, if we're going out tonight, you can talk to me later. I need to finish my homework now, though, so…'

Sirius rolled his eyes, but got up all the same.

'Okay, okay, I'll bugger off…' he said lamely, shuffling towards the door with his head hanging.

'Hey!' Helen called after him.

Sirius turned around, at the door, with a depressed expression on his face.

'Love you,' Helen said, grinning.

Sirius' attempt at keeping a forlorn face failed as he too smiled. 

'Later,' he said, winking at her as he exited the room.

'Damn,' Helen thought, grinning in spite of herself. 

She still felt that stupid flutter in her stomach each time he smiled at her.

* * *

After dinner, Helen went up to her dormitory to study, thinking that she wouldn't be able to concentrate properly if she had Sirius across the room from her. After an hour of studying on her bed, Lily bounded into the dorm.

'What are you doing here? Why don't you come down into the common room?' Lily asked, staring at Helen's bed which was covered in sheets of parchment.

'Oh… yes. Right, I need to talk to you,' Helen said, a bit disconcerted.

'What's up?' Lily said, sitting on her bed.

'Now, I know what you are going to say… but… I have to tell you just so you know and so you don't freak out and also… because you're my friend,' Helen added.

'Nice order,' said Lily sarcastically.

Helen smiled apologetically.

'Sirius has asked me to meet him tonight and we're going somewhere. I don't know exactly where, but we are.'

'Hang on! He hasn't told you what you're doing, where you're going, but just to meet him in the middle of the night? I don't think…'

'Right, I know it sounds suss, but it _is_ Sirius and I trust him not to do anything that will be weird. He said it was a surprise…'

Lily rolled her eyes.

'I knew you wouldn't like it, but I just thought you would like to know all the same. I wanted to tell you, anyway,' Helen said.

Lily sighed.

'All I can do is give you my advice. If you don't plan on following it, that's your problem,' Lily shrugged.

Helen smiled. This was as good enough a reply as she was expecting.

At quartered to eleven, Helen packed up her books, changed from her school clothes to jeans, boots and a thick jumper, scarf, gloves, and a travelling cloak. At eleven, she walked down the dorm stairs to find the rest of the common room deserted except for Lily and James who were studying on the same desk. 

'Are you ready?' 

Helen turned around to see Sirius also dressed warmly.

'Yep,' she replied, starting to think that this was not a good idea.

'Okay, see you… later,' Sirius called to James.

'Okay. Have fun,' James called back, waving at them both.

Lily pursed her lips and exchanged a meaningful glance with Helen.

'Goodnight Lily,' Helen said, finally, walking with Sirius through the portrait hole, where he threw the invisibility cloak over both of them. 

They walked silently through the corridors, down stairs and, finally, through the door to the Entrance Hall into the biting cold of the night causing Helen to wrap her cloak around her tightly.

'Where are we going?' Helen whispered.

'Just follow me,' Sirius said, as they walked across the grounds.

Eventually, they came to a spot which was hidden from the castle but also, Helen noticed, had a very good view of the moon.

'It's full moon!' Helen said, marvelling the large orb in the sky.

'Yes,' said Sirius, pulling the invisibility cloak off them and sitting down. 'Don't worry,' he added. 

'No one can see us here.'

Helen sat down next to Sirius.

'Well?' she asked, waiting for the surprise.

'Okay, I figure I should probably tell you now that we're here. Also, because you will be thinking about what it is, rather than actually listening or paying any attention to our conversation,' Sirius said, knowingly.

'My, how well you know me,' Helen said, pretending to be flattered.

'Okay. Well, tonight there will be a lunar eclipse… you know when…'

Helen shrieked, but covered her mouth quickly.

'I forgot about that! I've always wanted to see it but I always forget,' she said.

Sirius beamed.

'Well, I like watching it too, so I thought we could watch it together,' he said, shrugging.

Helen looked at the moon and gasped.

'Look! It's starting!' she exclaimed, pointing to the small shadow cast on the moon.

'Yeah, I can see. Don't worry, it'll go for a good two hours at least,' he said, turning to rummage through his bag.

'Tea?' he said, offering her a mug full of hot, steaming liquid.

Helen took it and held it to her face.

'Hmmm, it's warm…. I must say. I am _very_ impressed. You even brought tea!' Helen said, looking at a slightly abashed Sirius.

'What can I say, I do my best to please,' he said, looking very pleased with himself.

Helen moved closer to him because of the cold.

'Do you know what we said the legend was about the lunar eclipse?' Helen said, sipping her tea and staring at the moon.

'No, what?'

'Well, because the moon turns red, the Ancient Greeks used to think that it was because witches in Thessaly were using magic to try and drag Selene down and draw her blood.'

'What? Who's Selene?' asked Sirius, confused.

'You don't know?' asked Helen surprised.

'Sorry, never was much of a fan of mythology…' he said ironically.

Helen ignored this.

'Selene is the goddess of the full moon. There are three goddesses of the moon, actually. Artemis- for the waxing moon; i.e. the one before the full moon; Selene for the full moon, and Hecate for the waning moon,' Helen explained.

'Hecate? She's the goddess of witchcraft isn't she?' asked Sirius, looking at Helen, somewhat taken by her immense interest in the subject.

'Yes. Her mother, by the way, was Asteria,' Helen said, her eyes twinkling.

'Asteria? That's your name!'

'Yes, I know. Asteria, the 'starry one,' was the Titan goddess of the oracles and prophecies of night- including prophetic dreams, astrology and necromancy,' Helen said, as though she were a walking encyclopaedia on the subject.

Sirius stared at her.

'Your name, too, has a mythological background,' Helen said, nudging him.

'Yeah… something about a dog. I'm the brightest star in the sky!' Sirius said, rather proudly.

Helen rolled her eyes at his lack of knowledge.

'Sirius means 'the scorching one.' I suppose you don't know the myth as to how your star came about,' Helen sighed.

'No, but you want to tell me,' said Sirius, grinning, but interested all the same.

'Well, Sirius was Erigone's dog. Erigone was a…_maiden_…'

'In other words a virgin,' Sirius interrupted.

Helen glared at him.

'Anyway… Erigone was a maiden of Ancient Greece. Her father was Icarius whom Dionysus, the god of food and wine, had taught to make wine. Anyway, Icarius gave some shepherds some wine but they became drunk and thought, because they had never been drunk before, that Icarius had poisoned him…'

'And Sirius comes in where?' interrupted Sirius.

Helen rolled her eyes.

'It's coming, I promise you… where was I?' she said, frowning.

'The shepherds thought Icarius had poisoned them,' Sirius offered.

'Oh, yes. Anyway, so the shepherds killed Icarius. Now, Erigone and her dog, Sirius, who was very loyal to her, went looking for Icarius. When Erigone found Icarius' body, she was so overcome by grief that she hanged herself. Her dog, Sirius, overcome by the grief of having lost the two people he loved on earth, jumped off a cliff and died.'

'Oh… that's… nice,' Sirius said, disappointed.

Helen smiled.

'Well, it _is _Greek mythology so, as usual, everything is whacked and nothing really is _that_ nice. The ending is sort of okay, I guess… Icarius became placed in the constellation Bootes, Erigone in the Virgo constellation and Sirius in Canis Major becoming, as you said, the 'brightest star in the sky.' After his death, he also became the loyal hound of Orion,' Helen added.

Sirius shuddered at this.

'What?' Helen asked, wondering what she had said that was _so_ bad.

'Orion is my father's name,' Sirius said through gritted teeth.

'Oh… sorry,' Helen said, although she couldn't help but think that it was ironic at the same time.

Sirius ignored it.

'How come you know so much about Greek mythology?' he asked, in awe.

'Well, I just always found it really interesting. Also, I have so many names and they're all prominent people in mythology so I found… I don't know… a kind of connection to it.'

'So many names?' Sirius asked, confused.

'Yes, my full name is, wait for it… Helen Eos… Erigone (at which Helen blushed and Sirius smirked)… Circe Asteria.'

'Haha! You're name is Erigone and you're with me! It must be love' Sirius laughed triumphantly.

Helen rolled her eyes.

'So _that's_ why you know about my name,' Sirius said. 'I was starting to worry,' he added.

'Well, it's hardly anything you should have read into anyway. I knew about other people's names too, and I don't really like them that much.'

'So… who's Helen?'

'Helen of Troy. The most beautiful woman on earth- her face launched a thousand ships. Means 'the bright one,''

Sirius shook his head.

'I guess we're just destined to be. The most beautiful woman for the most, if I say so myself, beautiful guy… The brightest star for the bright one… Erigone for Sirius.'

'You will do well to remember that Sirius was Erigone's dog,' Helen said through gritted teeth.

Sirius pulled a face with puppy eyes and whimpered.

'Oh, stop it before I slap you.'

Sirius stopped abruptly and continued to ask about her names.

'What was your second one?'

'Eos. She was the goddess of the dawn.'

'Oh… then there was Erigone which,' Sirius smirked, 'You have already explained… okay, I'll give it a rest. I just find it funny and strangely ironic… ant then there was…'

'Circe,' Helen offered.

'That's the one…wasn't she the hot, but crazy witch?'

Helen shook her head, grinning.

'Well… not exactly. She was, of course… very beautiful. You would do well to notice that she was Asteria's grand-daughter; Asteria's daughter was Hecate and Hecate's daughter was Circe… the first 'real witch' with a wand and all. She was also one of the most powerful witches ever which, I guess, is not surprising considering she is the daughter of the goddess of witchcraft and all…'

'… and the crazy part?'

'Well, she did, er… 'lust after men' to put it in its rawest sense, but turned them into pigs… can't remember why. Only Odysseus- he was one of the guys who went to rescue Helen of Troy- was impervious to her 'charms' and they fell in love... don't know too much about her though.'

'Well, it seems to me that you know a lot about Greek mythology altogether,' Sirius said.

Helen shrugged. 'It just interests me, that's all. A bit like you guys and quidditch,'

'What do you mean? You're into quidditch aren't you? I mean, you're only one of the best in all of Hogwarts…'

'Why, thank you, you flatter me. Yeah, I like quidditch, but it's not like I spend all my spare time reading books on it or checking out new brooms like you and James.'

Sirius frowned. Of course he could not understand how someone could not be interested in quidditch.

'Wow, the moon's making a lot of progress,' Helen said, pointing out the half-eclipsed moon, and leaning on Sirius' shoulder.

'Hmm… shouldn't be too long now,' said Sirius, resting his head on top of hers and wrapping his arms around her.

'That's better… It's not so cold now,' Helen said, smiling.

Sirius sighed.

'So was home _that_ bad,' Helen said, sensing what was troubling him.

Sirius did not reply immediately.

'… I don't know. My dad, he… he's really sick now and, well, to tell you the truth, he was okay. Out of my whole extended family, he was the only one who ever listened to me at all. The trouble is, he was hardly ever home when I grew up and it still hasn't changed… except now he's just stuck in his bed all day.'

'What is it?' Helen whispered.

'Just old age, really. He's in his eighties…my parents have a huge age difference,' Sirius added.

'Will he be okay?'

Sirius shook his head.

'No, I don't think so. He looked… 'ready to go,' when I left.'

They sat in silence for a while.

'I'm sorry,' Helen whispered.

Sirius shrugged.

'No… I don't know. I can deal with it. It's just, well, these holidays were the first ones where I actually started to get to know him and to realise that he is a lot nicer and more normal than the rest of my family. I even told him about you,' Sirius added.

'Me?' Helen asked surprised.

'Well, he wanted to know if there were any girls I cared for… I guess parents want to know these kinds of things if they're just about to… you know. Anyway, so I told him about you.'

'What did he say?' asked Helen, horrified. She had always got the impression that Sirius' family and she were mutually exclusive.

'Well, I showed him a photo and he said you were one of the most beautiful witches he had ever seen. It was amazing, actually. He didn't even ask about your blood! I think he knew, though, because he said that my mum might need a couple more years to warm up to you,' Sirius said, smiling sadly.

'I'm not sure a century will see your mum warm even a degree towards me. She seems to be pretty set on you marrying a certain Amiel,' Helen said, smiling a little.

'Unfortunately, or fortunately, I have to agree with you. Can we also agree never to talk about that mad French girl again? Anyway, it's a shame you probably will never meet my father, though. I think you would like him and he would like you.'

Helen sighed.

They sat together in silence for a while, just staring at the moon which gradually eclipsed, glowing bright red.

'It's beautiful,' Helen conceded, staring at the moon, awestruck.

'Very,' Sirius agreed, also gaping at the moon.

They lay together and watched the moon for an hour longer, talking very little. As the eclipse started to wane of, Helen yawned.

'We should probably get back now,' said Sirius, yawning too.

They got up and went back, silently, to the common room under the invisibility cloak.

'Hmmm, the fire's warm,' Helen said, standing in front of the amber flames and warming her hands. 

Sirius dropped his bag next to the couch and sat next to her.

'Well, I have to hand it to you,' Helen said, smiling. 'I had a really good time tonight,'

'I did too,' Sirius said, tucking a strand of Helen's hair behind her ear, before leaning forward and kissing her.

When he kissed her, Helen felt herself go slightly breathless again, the butterflies in her stomach fluttering madly. He did not stop kissing her, however. They were now lying on the floor, very close, still locked at the lips. Perhaps it was the warmth of the flames, but Helen had never felt such passion, such electricity flowing through her body as she did now. Helen felt Sirius' take off her cloak. She didn't mind. It really was too hot anyway. Then, she felt his hands sliding down her body, causing her to shudder, slightly. It was too easy to stay and continue with this. As Helen realised that she had to stop the kiss, somehow, before she found herself in a very compromising position on the Gryffindor Common Room floor, she started to panic, not knowing how to end it! If it were one of her 'distractions,' it would have been very easy- she would just get up and walk off. 

Sirius' hands were now sliding down her legs. 

But she couldn't just get up and walk off. This was different… in the sense that Sirius wasn't a distraction and, contrary to all her other experiences, she actually felt some kind of magnetic pull towards Sirius, compelling her to remain planted on the floor. 

Helen pulled away slightly, from Sirius; breaking their kiss.

Sirius looked into her eyes and, again, tucked another piece of hair behind her ear. He then kissed her on the forehead and pulled her in to him.

Just as Helen was about to drift into a very peaceful sleep, leaning against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, she heard him whisper to her softly.

'Maybe you should go to bed now… I don't think it would do any of us any favours if McGonagall caught us asleep together again.'

Helen nodded, but did not want to get up. Eventually, however, she mustered what little strength she had left and sat up slowly, Sirius copying her example. 

'I'll… see you tomorrow, I guess,' Helen yawned, as Sirius pulled her up.

'If you're still awake,' Sirius said, grinning.

Helen nodded, still yawning, and walked over to the girl's dormitories. As she was about to leave, she turned, to see Sirius still looking at her.

'Thankyou, for tonight. I had a nice time,' she said, before turning to climb the stairs and walking, like a zombie, into her dormitory; flopping, exhausted, onto her beautiful, sweet bed. 

Not even Lily pulling off all of her bed covers woke Helen up the next day. She slept through breakfast and only woke up, suddenly, at 8.50 am, realising she had ten minutes to get dressed and reach her first class; potions.

* * *

**...oh, and Helen's real name (in the story) is Helen Circe Asteria. That name I had originally given her was ridiculously long and... let's face it, the 'Erigone' was justso cliched as a middle name. I think we can see in the story that she is well-suited to Sirius without needing a middle name which somehow shows that she and he were meant to be.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is following Helen & Sirius' breakup over the OWLs/Snape affair. In the actual thing, their breakup was a lot more serious. Here... Sirius was alittle more forward in trying to get back with her... and he didn't actually sleep with Melinda, as he did in my story.**

Rumours

Word travels quickly. Gossip even faster. 

Soon the whole school knew about Melinda and Sirius' 'acts' in the bathroom of the Three Broomsticks. Helen included.

Strangely enough, the only person who didn't know about it was Sirius. It was news to him, therefore, when it was brought up in a fight he had with Helen on their last day of classes.

'I don't understand. You've obviously moved on if you're getting laid by Melinda in the toilets of the Three Broomsticks. Why do you keep bothering me?' she said, very distantly.

It took Sirius a moment to register what Helen had just said to him.

'WHAT?' he exploded after a short silence.

Helen looked at him strangely.

'What did you just say?' he repeated in a measured voice.

'You know what I just said you stupid idiot. Don't try and deny it to me. I won't believe it.'

'Did you just say that I went with… North… to… urgh!'

Helen looked up, surprised.

Suddenly, comprehension dawned upon Sirius' face.

'The…She was cut that I wouldn't go off with her…' Sirius said to himself.

'What?' Helen asked, not following.

Sirius looked at Helen and suddenly stood up and walked to Melinda's desk. She threw him a dark look.

'So,' Sirius said, sitting on her desk.

Melinda avoided his eyes.

'So,' repeated Sirius, feeling very angry at her indeed.

Melinda looked up at him fearfully before she cracked.

'Oh okay. I'm sorry I made up that rumour. My friends kept on asking me and… it just came out! Next thing I know the whole school knows,' she squeaked.

The whole classroom went silent. McGonagall was still yet to return after being called to attend to some rowdy first year Gryffindors.

'See?' Sirius said plainly to Helen.

Helen rolled her eyes.

'So what? You didn't shag her. Why do I care?' Helen said indifferently and looking at her fingernails.

'Because…'

'Just because, you stupid git, you were able to contain yourself for a few hours, it does not make you a hero,' Helen snapped, transfiguring her teapot instantly.

She marvelled at how much better she was at magic when she was mad.

'I'm sorry.' Sirius said finally.

Helen did not look up.

'Me too. It could have been good.' Helen replied nonchalantly.

Sirius tugged at his hair in frustration. Helen glanced at Lily whose lips twitched but gave her an encouraging nod. Helen would not give in now.

'What do I have to do to get it through to you that I'm sorry?'

Helen looked up at him coldly.

'You say you're sorry? Tell Severus, genuinely, that you're sorry and I might believe it. All I know is what I saw. On that day, you showed yourself to be the self-centred, chauvinistic and cruel pig my first instincts told me you were. I thought you had changed. You obviously haven't.'

'You were snogging Snape!'

The class made vomiting sounds.

Helen glared at Sirius.

'I was hugging him; a friendly hug. He had a crap day thanks to you and I'm sure that if you had someone threaten to take your underwear off in front of the whole school, you would want a hug too.'

'Oh right. So poor Snivellus wants a _hug_,' Sirius said sarcastically.

'Shut up,' Helen said warningly.

Sirius sighed.

'He's into all that dark magic. He called your best friend a mudblood and you still take his side?' he asked disbelievingly.

Helen looked up at Sirius coldly.

'I would have thought that you of all people would have known better than to stereotype,' she said, glaring at Sirius.

At that moment, however, McGonagall entered and Helen didn't have to hear Sirius' retort. They worked in silence for the rest of the lesson and walked in separate directions afterwards.

* * *

'Expelliarmus.'

Snape's wand soared out of his hand and he looked around desperately. He was cornered.

Sirius gave both his and Snape's wand to Remus and approached Snape who looked at Sirius in disgust and with much loathing.

'Okay, Snape. This is how it goes. We're going to stop fighting from now on,' Sirius said stiffly.

At that point, Helen came out of the dungeons, pausing as she saw the spectacle before her. The sight of her gave Sirius more courage. At least this part of the plan was working.

'I… I want to _apologize_ for what we did to you last week. It wasn't right. I… what do you say we just call it quits?' Sirius said, extending his hand. His expression looked as though he had just been sucking on a lemon.

Snape snorted.

'What? You do this because you know Helen's coming out of the dungeons and, the second she's gone you start attacking me again? I don't think so,' he said, moving away from Sirius.

Helen continued to watch, saying nothing.

'Look. I know you don't have any reason to believe that I'm 'for real' but…'

'No.' Snape said shortly, snatching his wand from Remus and stalking off.

Sirius sighed in defeat. It hadn't worked. Of course he didn't actually care about making amends with Snape but, so long as Helen thought it was genuine, that was all that mattered. He could just hex Snape in secret from then on.

He looked at Helen and saw her lip twitch slightly. At that point, however, Lily came up from the dungeons.

'Why are you just standing here? Let's go! We've got arithmancy,' Lily, said, taking Helen's arm.

Helen came to her senses and walked off with Lily, leaving Sirius shaking his head. 

'That girl will be the death of me,' he said. He could not help but grin slightly. He had at least broken her anger. She was just playing a game now and it was only a matter of time before she finally gave it up.

Helen, however, was very good at this game. The end of year feast came and she had not even spoken to Sirius since their Transfiguration argument. Sirius was hopeful, however, as he had seen Snape and Helen arguing recently quite a bit too.

On the return train, there was a knock on Helen and Lily's compartment door.

'It's Potter,' Lily said, checking the window.

Helen sighed.

'Let him in,' she said, continuing to paint her fingernails.

She did not look up at James as he entered.

'I'm sorry.'

'So you should be.' Helen said.

'So is Sirius.'

'Is that why you came here?' Helen snapped.

'No.' James said, slumping next to her.

'You're worse, you know that? You initiated it all,' Helen snapped.

'I agree. It was going way too far.'

'Way too far. It was low. It's one thing to duel and another to humiliate.'

'I know, I know. When are you going to give it a rest, though?' James said mournfully.

Helen shot him a reproving look before continuing with her nails.

'What do you want?' she sighed.

'If we're still going to do our summer tradition.'

'It's happened once. Not tradition just yet.' Helen said.

'Whatever. Will you come over?'

'No. Do you honestly think it would work? Sirius and I in the same house? I'm glad it's holidays just to get away from the…'

'Fine then,' James snapped, getting up to leave.

'Don't you get angry with me,' Helen warned.

'Why shouldn't I? You're overreacting. It's not as if you actually still care.'

'I do. How dare you say I'm overreacting?'

James sighed, very frustrated.

'Why won't you come over?'

'Because I don't want to spend summer with two arrogant berks,' Helen replied. 

Lily nodded her head in approval.

James threw up his hands and left the compartment. He had given up.

'You did the right thing,' Lily said sagely, noticing Helen's sad look as James left.

'Yeah… I suppose…' Helen said wistfully.

Five minutes later, Peter entered the compartment to try and convince Helen, but forgot his rehearsed lines and left, red-faced, as Helen and Lily laughed at him. 

Fifteen minutes before they arrived, Remus entered, looking as though he was fighting to keep a straight face.

'You got sent here too?' Helen asked shrewdly.

Remus nodded and sat down next to Helen.

'Well? Let's hear the speech then,' Lily said, her lip twitching.

Remus started laughing, but stopped himself, glancing fearfully at the door.

At that moment, Helen understood what all the entrances and exits were about.

She got up and threw open the compartment door to see Sirius, James and Peter crouched, listening.

She shook her head and shut the door in their faces, turning to face Remus with a reproving look.

'What do you have to say for yourself Mr Lupin?' she asked.

'Er….'

'Don't speak. Just kiss me,' she said, placing a hand over Remus' mouth as he went to protest. Lily stifled a giggle.

Helen kept her ears pricked.

'Oh Remus! You're such a good kisser! You know… I was going out with the wrong Marauder all this time.'

Remus shook his head fearfully and Helen grinned and winked at him. She turned to her bag and found a tube of red lipstick and put it on.

'Please?' she whispered as Remus looked at her horror-struck.

His lack of protest encouraged Helen.

She leant and kissed him on the cheek. 

Remus leapt back. 

'Just one more,' Helen said, leaning closer to him.

She kissed him fully on the lips, leaving a red imprint upon his mouth. She let the kiss linger. 

Helen would never know that, at that moment, Remus Lupin would have loved for nothing more than to have been free to kiss her back; to wrap his arms around her. He knew, however, that she was not kissing him for him, but because she was making Sirius jealous.

'Sorry,' Helen whispered, noticing Remus' eyes which were sad.

Remus shook his head and left the compartment quickly.

Helen and Lily high fived each other when they heard the shouts after Remus' exit.

'You had no right to do that,' Sirius said angrily, grabbing Helen by the arm as she went to leave through the barrier.

'You had no right to do eavesdrop on me,' Helen retorted, trying to wrench her arm out of his grip.

'Just drop it, ok? I know you're just playing a game…'

'That's right, _mon cheri_. This is a game… because I don't have better things to do with myself.'

'SIRIUS BLACK,' called a voice which would send chills down anyone's spine. Helen looked to Sirius and saw him straighten his spine and his eyes widen fearfully. She then realised to whom that voice belonged. 

They both turned around to see Sirius' mother, as menacing as her boggart counterpart was, approach him.

'What are you doing? Who is this?' she snapped, eyeing Helen warily.

'That's the mudblood he's going out with, aunty,' Bellatrix said in French to Mrs Black.

'Excuse me. I _was_ going out with him. Sirius, however, changed his mind and decided he would much rather go out with the pure-blooded…' Helen searched her mind for a pure-blood name, 'Melinda North,' she responded in French to Mrs Black.

Mrs Black blinked. She did not think a mudblood like Helen could be so cultured as to learn French.

Sirius looked at Helen imploringly, but Helen stepped on his foot.

'Do I know you? I've seen you before.' Mrs Black said, finally, looking at Helen curiously.

'Not that I know of. Very nice to meet you. Goodbye,' Helen said, wanting to escape as quickly as possible. She did, however, squeeze Sirius' hand before she left. She felt he needed it.

'A moment, please,' Mrs Black called after Helen.

Helen turned with some trepidation. Sirius was looking from his mother to Helen fearfully, not understanding what was going on.

'What is your name?' Mrs Black demanded.

Helen exchanged a glance with Sirius.

'Helen Asteria,' Bellatrix answered for Helen, smirking at her.

'Selene's daughter? I never knew she had a daughter…'

'No. You wouldn't know my mother. Her name is Mary.'

Mrs Black's gray eyes scrutinized Helen for a few seconds before she turned away to talk to Bellatrix and her family. Sirius stood awkwardly to the side, looking at Helen.

'I had better…'

'Just go. I'm fine,' Sirius said bitterly.

* * *

**I found the 'Snape forgiveness' scene also to be very 'not-Sirius-like.' I don't think even the deepest love would ever inspire him to ask forgiveness from 'the slimy git' (according to him ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Continuing on from the last chapter...**

'Sirius I…'

'I get it. I won't push anymore. You don't want to be with me that's fine,' he said. Helen could hear his resentment and fear of these holidays in his words.

Helen glanced at the rest of his family who were still busy.

'That's not true,' she whispered, not looking at him directly.

Sirius looked up at her in wonder.

'It's not?'

'No. I'm… you were wrong, but I think I over-reacted a bit too.'

Sirius had never wanted to kiss Helen more than at that moment. He was suddenly seized with an idea.

'Help me,' he whispered, pulling his trolley away from his family who did not notice.

'What?' Helen asked, uncertainly.

'Let's just get out and I'll tell you,' he hissed, running as quickly as he could now through the barrier.

'What are we doing…?'

'Over here…' Sirius said, running out of the station. It was only once they were a good few blocks away from the station that they stopped.

'SIRIUS! STOP!' Helen shouted, stopping and clutching her side.

Finally, Sirius stopped.

'What are you doing? They'll kill you!' Helen asked, her eyes wide.

Helen paced the deserted alleyway, tugging at her hair whilst Sirius watched, bemused, leaning against the wall. He felt free for the first time in his life

'Are you mad?' Helen asked him incredulously.

'No… well, maybe... Either way, I'm happier now.'

'You cannot just run away!' Helen said sternly

'Why not?' Sirius challenged.

'Because…. They'll find you and kill you. You can't…'

'Too late now,' Sirius shrugged.

Helen paused.

'Where will you live?'

'With James,' Sirius said simply

'But…'

'Helen,' Sirius interrupted.

'What?' Helen snapped, turning to face him.

Sirius pulled her towards him and kissed her, feeling relief flood through his body. He hadn't done that for a long time and realised how much he missed it. Helen, however, was not so happy. 

She pushed him away.

'You can't do this,' she said mournfully.

'Do you _want_ me to go back?' Sirius asked incredulously.

'No, but…'

'I don't see what the problem is, then,' Sirius said finally.

Helen stared at him but then shrugged.

'Your funeral; don't expect me to be stretched on your grave, though. I warned you,' she said sternly.

There was a silence.

'Where are you going?' Sirius asked her eventually.

'I'm going to put up in a hotel tonight and floo back to Australia tomorrow,' Helen said.

'Oh…'

'More importantly, though, what are _you_ going to do?'

'Well, I figure it would probably be a good idea to forewarn the Potters that I'm going to bunk at their place for summer, so I probably should go to the Leaky Cauldron or something tonight.'

Helen looked at him incredulously.

'What?'

'You really can be quite daft sometimes… and you call yourself a marauder? Don't you think that that's the first place they'll look for you?'

'Er…'

'You could come with me,' Helen suggested, looking at her nails.

Sirius smirked.

'But I'm warning you. If you even think of trying to…,' Helen said, pointing a threatening finger at him.

'Wouldn't dream of it,' Sirius said, pretending to be wounded that she could think that he would even suggest such a thing.

Helen sighed.

'Well, let's catch a taxi then,' she said, checking the coast before wheeling her trolley out of the alleyway and hailing a taxi.

* * *

Sirius kept on staring at Helen in the taxi which nearly drove her mad. She was more nervous about him running away than he was.

They arrived at the hotel after half an hour and Helen paid the taxi driver. She then had to devise a way to get Sirius into the room without being seen which involved his squeezing into her trunk.

'I'll just lie on this,' Sirius smirked, holding a red bra of hers.

'Give me that,' Helen snapped, snatching the bra and putting it in her handbag.

Once they were in the room, they realised that it consisted of a single bed. 

A small single bed.

'Oh that's just great,' Helen said, slumping on the bed.

'It's okay… I'll sleep on the couch,' Sirius said, before turning around to realise there was no couch.

'Oh,' he said, scratching his head.

'Whatever… we'll sort that out later. I need a shower now. Then we can go get something to eat and… then we'll go sort this issue out.' Helen said, running her hand distractedly through her hair as she rummaged through her trunk for her toiletries.

'Helen?' Sirius asked quietly, sitting on the bed.

'Mmm,' Helen said, continuing to rummage through her trunk.

'I just… I really am sorry for everything I said to you. I love you,' Sirius said in a very small voice.

Helen dropped the shampoo bottle she was holding. She picked it up quickly and cleared her throat.

'Everyone says stupid things when they're angry,' Helen said, sitting next to him on the bed.

'I know, but I still shouldn't have said them…'

Helen leant forward and kissed Sirius gently on the lips, the tips of her fingers on his cheek.

'It's all over now,' she said, just as Sirius was about to kiss her back. She smiled at him and went to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Helen emerged from the bathroom some twenty minutes later freshly showered, smelling of lavender and rosemary and wearing a blue summer dress.

Sirius could not help but smile when he saw her and wondered how he could ever have hated her.

'Do you need a shower?' Helen asked, putting on her sandals.

'Had one this morning,' Sirius said. 'Tried to drown myself in them,' he added with a wry smile.

Helen shook her head and looked through her handbag.

'Shall we go get something to eat then?'

* * *

They walked down the street, holding hands and not saying much. It was a warm evening and the cicadas were buzzing. The air had a sweet scent. Perhaps it was sweeter, though, because Helen was back with Sirius.

They found a cosy French restaurant and sat down. 

'I have a confession,' Helen piped up, after they had ordered.

'Oh?'

'Yes… I'm afraid you will not be too happy with me, though.'

'Well, let's hear it,' Sirius said, thinking there wasn't too much Helen could say now which would make him angry.

'Hm… well, do you remember the night before the History exam?' Helen said, taking a sip of water.

'How could I forget?' Sirius said, remembering it. 'I didn't get any sleep.'

'Well… yes. Anyway, you remember how Lily and I turned up to the exam half-drunk, half-stoned and looking, well, a little worse for wear?'

'Yes… it would have been quite funny under different circumstances,' Sirius grinned, remembering how Helen's hair stuck at different angles.

'Anyway… Well, we went to Hogsmeade that night.' Helen said, inspecting the salt shaker.

'What?' Sirius asked in surprised.

'Yeah…. My point is that I, er, showed Lily the passageway you showed me so we could get there.'

Sirius opened his mouth and shrugged.

'Oh well… it's not like she's going to dob us in about it?'

'No she won't… are you mad?'

'Not really,' Sirius shrugged.

Helen smiled, relieved.

'So what _exactly_ did you do?' Sirius asked, leaning forward, grinning.

Helen threw her head back and laughed gently.

'Oh… you really missed some party! We snuck into the Hogs Head store room and stole a bottle of Firewhisky and these joints of… ahem, marijuana, and then tottered around drinking the firewhisky and bitching about men in general. Anyway, somehow we ended up in the middle of this field where we lay, smoking and drinking. We finished the bottle and 4 joints, by the way,' Helen added, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

Sirius gaped at her.

'Close your mouth, _mon cheri_,' Helen said, laughing.

Sirius came to his senses.

'Sorry, did I just hear you say that you and Lily Evans the… most prudish girls in the school… got smashed on a bottle of firewhisky and pot the day before their history OWL?' Sirius said hoarsely.

'You did,' Helen said. 'Thanks,' she added to the waiter who brought them their food.

'I don't know what to say,' Sirius said, staring at her.

'Don't say anything… eat,' Helen added, laughing at Sirius' reaction.

* * *

'I can't believe you did that,' Sirius said as they entered the hotel room. Helen sighed. He could talk of nothing else the entire evening.

'This is getting old,' she said, yawning.

'Before the History OWL?'

'Yes, Sirius,' Helen said impatiently.

'Even James and I wouldn't get stoned before our OWLs!'

'Well, we're Helen and Lily and we do things differently. Plus, we were both really pissed off,' Helen added, rummaging through her trunk for her nightgown.

'Fine, I'll give it a rest,' Sirius said, taking his shoes off and searching for his pyjamas in his own trunk.

'So…' Helen began.

'Mmmm?'

'What are we going to do?' she asked.

'Well… we are both sixteen, and most sixteen year olds…'

'You were doing it fourteen and I don't care what most sixteen year olds do,' Helen said shortly.

Sirius laughed.

'I was just teasing you,' he said, nipping her on the cheek on his way to the bathroom.

Helen rolled her eyes and moved to the side so she could get changed.

'Oh and James… sorry!' Sirius said, seeing Helen who had just taken off her bra.

Helen felt her face burn. Sirius turned around quickly and went to the bathroom again.

Properly dressed in her nightdress now, Helen went to the bathroom where Sirius was brushing his teeth and also began to brush her teeth.

'Okay, great. You saw my chest. Big deal,' Helen said finally, trying to break the embarrassed silence.

'I didn't know…'

'Yeah, I'm an idiot too. I should have waited for you to finish in here… Whatever. Let's just get over it,' Helen snapped, rinsing her mouth.

She missed Sirius' wry smile after her as she left the bathroom. It was just as well…

* * *

'I could enlarge a pillow,' Sirius suggested.

'None of us are of age. We would get caught and then they would know where to find you. On the whole, not one of your brightest ideas.'

'Well… I don't know. I'll just sleep on the floor then,' Sirius shrugged.

Helen bit her lip.

'It's okay. I'll use a few of my clothes to make the ground softer and it'll be fine,' Sirius reassured her.

Helen did not seem convinced.

'Look. I'm bunking with you. It's fine,' Sirius said, bending down and taking his cloak and other clothes and spreading them on the floor. After five minutes, Sirius was supposedly finished. He took one of the two pillows off the bed and dropped it on the floor.

'There,' he said optimistically. 'All fine!'

Helen looked at his 'bed' dubiously and then to her bed. 

She did not move to her bed.

'Look. This is great. I might make it a permanent arrangement! Just go to bed… or do you need me to tuck you in?' Sirius asked, grinning.

Helen gave a small smile and sat on her bed, watching Sirius lie down on his pile of clothes. It looked very uncomfortable.

'Goodnight,' Sirius said, encouraging her to turn the light off. Helen sighed and turned it off.

'Goodnight,' she said.

Ten minutes later, Helen sat up and turned the light on.

'Something the matter?' Sirius asked, squinting in the bright light.

'Do you want to just share with me?' Helen asked quickly.

'What?' Sirius asked, not sure he heard properly.

'I can't sleep knowing you're on the floor and I'm here. Do you just want to share?'

'Er…'

'You don't have to if you don't want to… it's just…' Helen said quickly.

'Would you be weird with that?' Sirius asked, evidently not enjoying his makeshift bed as much as he had professed.

'No,' Helen said, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She moved over in the bed and Sirius approached it tentatively.

'Are you sure?'

'Ask me again…' Helen said, a little irritably, even though she was just nervous.

Sirius sat down in the bed. They both felt awkward.

'Oh, for goodness' sake!' Helen said, pulling him towards her and kissing him. Sirius was shocked at first, his hear beating wildly, but then responded by kissing her back. Soon, they were lying together, kissing.

'There, that wasn't so hard now, was it?' Helen asked, as they broke from their kiss.

Sirius smiled and stroked her cheek as he looked into her eyes.

'So how does it feel to be free, Master Black?' Helen asked.

Sirius laughed.

'Oh! So good! I must say; today has been a great day for me. Firstly you take me back, and then I run away…'

Helen smiled and kissed him again before lying on his chest, listening to his heart.

'Now, if I could have you lie there forever, I would be a happy man,' Sirius said quietly, enfolding her in his arms.

* * *

Helen awoke, feeling something like warm air on her face. She opened her eyes and realised it was Sirius' breath. She blinked; remembering yesterday's events and then smiled. She looked at him, lying opposite her so peacefully, his hand around her waist. She kissed him softly on the lips.

'Good morning,' Sirius mumbled, snuggling in closer to her.

'And to you,' Helen smiled, not at all regretting the decision to allow him to share her bed. She had never slept so blissfully.

Suddenly, however, Helen remembered that she was to floo to Australia at 10 am. She checked her watch and her eyes widened as she discovered she had twenty minutes.

'Oh my God! Get up! I have to go,' she said, getting up quickly.

'What?' Sirius said, sitting up.

'I've got twenty minutes before I have to leave… Get your things ready, we have to go straight away,' Helen said, throwing her things into her trunk and snatching up some clothes to get changed into.

'Why do you have to leave?' Sirius asked, packing his clothes away.

'I've got to floo at 10!' Helen said, coming out of the bathroom fully dressed.

'Ten! So soon?' 

'Yes. Hurry!' Helen said, urgently, unbuttoning his pyjama top for him.

Sirius watched her do this with an amused expression.

'It might be quicker if I do that,' he said, smiling as she blushed and hurried around, packing his clothes.

* * *

**Well... yes, originally Helen slept with Sirius a lot later (i.e. not their holidays). As you may have noticed, she and he were also a lot more innocent with each other- hence the fact that they were reluctant to share a bed.**


	7. Chapter 7

'You have to go right now?' Sirius asked reproachfully. He couldn't believe she was going already.

'Yes… anyway, tell James, if he wants, that I can come to his place for the last week of holidays,' Helen said, standing by the fire which glowed green.

'Already?' Sirius said, as Helen went to step into it.

Helen smiled sadly.

'I'll miss you,' she said, kissing his cheek, before walking towards the fire.

'I'll miss you too,' Sirius said mournfully.

'See you soon… write me,' she reminded him, before stating her address in the fireplace.

And with that, she was gone. 

* * *

Helen's parents greeted her very coldly upon her arrival home, making her wish she could have turned back in the fireplace and gone back to Sirius. They wanted to know why they had received so many letters home about her violent behaviour with a certain Sirius Black. Helen blushed upon the mention of his name and her mother noticed this.

'Why did you blush?' she demanded. 

Both of Helen's parents glared at her.

'I didn't,' Helen shrugged.

'I know what I saw,' Helen's mum persisted.

Helen had never been so depressed and angry in her life.

'Well you're obviously seeing things,' she snapped, getting up to leave the room.

This plan was interrupted by a stinging slap to her cheek administered by her father.

'How dare you speak to your mother like that? Apologize instantly!' he shouted menacingly.

Helen sighed and wondered why parents thought that demanded apologies would be sincere.

'Sorry mum,' Helen said, her eyes downcast and teeth gritted.

Helen's mother pursed her lips.

'Your attitude upon your arrival has been far from impressive, missy. We will be reviewing very carefully whether we shall be sending you back to that school of yours. It is obviously having a terrible influence on you.' Helen's father snapped.

Helen's face blanched and she rocked slightly on the spot. She felt floored.

'Not go back to Hogwarts?' she whispered, her worst nightmare becoming fast a reality.

'To bed,' Helen's mum snapped.

Helen blinked and ran out of the room, wishing desperately for the last week of holidays to come quickly so she could be with Sirius and James again.

* * *

The holidays dragged by slowly. She received a few letters from her friends and smiled ironically to herself at how Sirius' letters had substantially shortened now that he was happy. She hid these, not wanting to comprehend what would happen if her parents discovered them… especially Sirius' letters which were not altogether innocent. Helen did not respond by telling them the truth of her horrible situation. She wrote back cheerful responses, hoping for cheerful replies in return which would lift her mood.

* * *

As the last week of summer holidays approached, however, things started to turn very ugly. As she had last year, Helen told her parents that school was to start a week earlier than it actually did. They accepted this, although they were still 'deliberating' upon letting her go to Hogwarts. That night, however, they were the first to receive the letter, which came by muggle post, informing them that school started on September 1st as always. Helen was not quite expecting it when she entered the kitchen.

Her father slapped her so hard that he left an imprint upon her face. He dragged her to the kitchen table where her mum sat, angrily, and asked her to explain the letter.

Helen mumbled something about typos, earning herself another stinging blow.

'Where were you thinking of going? Where did you go last year?'

Helen's heart sank as she thought of her wonderful memories from last year and, try as she might, she couldn't help but feeling bad now for lying to her parents.

'At a friend's,' Helen mumbled.

'Which friend?'

'Lily, my friend from school,' Helen said quickly… there was no way she was going to tell the truth about who she stayed with. 

* * *

Helen lay in bed that night, salty tears streaming constantly down her raw cheeks. She was not going back to Hogwarts anymore and her parents had taken away all her possessions, Malkin included, so that she had no way of contacting anyone in her world. 

Helen thought of Sirius and James and how she would never see them again and cried even harder. What was worse, though, was that they wouldn't even know why she didn't respond to their letters and why she never turned up for the last week of holiday.

But she had to get through to them, somehow.

An idea came to Helen's head which she considered warily. If caught, she would be as good as dead.

She would be the same without Hogwarts and her friends.

Helen sighed grimly and pulled on her clothes before making a ladder with her sheets and climbing down the window. She had to make a phone call.

'Helen? HELEN! Are you in Australia? Wow! How have your holidays been?' Lily asked happily when she heard Helen on the other end of the receiver of the payphone.

Helen started to cry.

'Helen? What's wrong? What happened?' Lily asked worriedly.

Helen took a deep breath and told Lily everything.

Lily was silent.

'So… I just wanted to tell you. If you could tell Sirius and the others, that would be great because I have no way of contacting them,' Helen said eventually, pathetically.

Lily sighed.

'Okay… don't worry, we'll sort something out. Just try not to get on their wrong side for now. It'll be okay, and please don't cry…' Lily said kindly.

* * *

The next day, Helen shut herself up in her room, avoiding her parents. This worked for most of the day. That night, however, proved to be one of the most trying on her heart rate in her life.

Helen lay in bed, crying to herself, when she heard tapping at her window. She looked up quickly to see Sirius. Her heart gave a small leap of both happiness and fear. If her parents caught him with her… she should start digging her grave right now.

Helen opened the window quickly and let him in, hugging him tightly to her and not saying anything, words caught in her throat.

Sirius sat her on the bed and pulled away from her gently.

'I heard… I came as soon as I could,' he said, wiping her tears with his hands.

Helen heard her parents move downstairs and sat up, eyes wide as she listened.

'You can't stay… they'll catch us and then I really won't be able to go,' Helen said frantically.

'They have to let you go to Hogwarts,' Sirius said.

'No, apparently they don't. It's different for muggle-borns than it is for you pure-bloods. My parents don't have to abide by magical rules at all,' Helen said grimly.

Sirius stared at her.

'If you don't go to Hogwarts…'

'Don't. Let's not talk about it,' Helen said, covering her ears.

Helen heard footsteps outside her bedroom and pushed Sirius to the ground quickly, trying to make him get under the bed more quickly by pushing him with her foot.

Helen's dad entered.

'What have you been doing here all this time?' he demanded of her.

Helen mumbled something and Sirius was shocked to see the normally defiant girl he knew became so submissive.

He flinched as he heard a loud, stinging blow and went to get up, but Helen's foot reappeared, pushing him back. He could not make matters worse, but how in hell was he supposed to listen to her being beaten up?

'With that attitude of yours, I know exactly what kind of school I'll be sending you to,' Helen's dad spat, slapping her again with such force that Helen spun around and fell on the bed.

He grunted in disgust and left the room, slamming the door behind him and locking it.

Helen began to cry, sobbing unrestrainedly into her bed covers. She really didn't want Sirius to see her like this, as she heard him slide from under the bed and take her up in his arms.

'Sh,' he whispered, stroking her hair and cradling her gently.

Helen wiped the blood off her nose and suddenly felt the need to be wanted. She pulled Sirius into a kiss, her breath still jaded with her tears. Sirius seemed reluctant to kiss her now- he felt there were things they had to talk about. 

But Helen didn't want to talk.

She pulled him down on the bed with her, holding on to him tightly, before Sirius' eyes snapped open in shock when he registered that she was unbuttoning her night shirt so that the only thing she was wearing was a pair of underwear. He felt his breath quicken and gulped as she wrapped her legs around him. What was she thinking? Her parents were only a few rooms away and her father had just beaten her up.

He pulled away from their kiss. He had to try and make Helen think straight. Trouble was, he himself was having troubles doing just that at the moment as Helen's legs pulled him closer to her, her bare breasts pressing into his chest. 

'Make love to me,' she whispered.

He knew what he heard in that whisper and it wasn't what she thought it was. She was scared and lonely and needed to feel loved and wanted. Sirius knew she wouldn't have asked this of him under normal circumstances and felt he would be taking advantage of her in her unstable frame of mind if he did.

'Let's… just take a sec here,' he said, trying to get up.

Helen's eyes flashed.

'You don't want to?' she whispered, demanding.

'It's not that… You're not thinking straight,' he said, sitting away from her.

'I am. Why don't you want to? Is there something wrong with me?' Helen asked indignantly.

Sirius sighed and looked at her. He didn't want to start a fight with her.

'Look…'

'You've done it with half the girls at school. What could possibly be so offensive about me- your girlfriend, as you call me- that you don't want to? You've suggested it before and now I'm saying yes,' Helen snapped.

'Your parents are a few doors down! Can't you remember what your dad just did to you?'

'I'm not stupid,' Helen said flatly.

'Well you're doing a great job of sounding like you are. We just can't now. Some other time. You're just emotionally unstable now…'

Sirius thought to himself how ironical the situation was. He had spent a lot of his younger years trying to convince girls he didn't like that much to have sex with him and now he was trying to convince the only girl he truly cared about not to.

Helen got up suddenly and pushed him off the bed, very angrily.

'Get out,' she breathed.

'What?' Sirius said, disbelievingly. He was now being reprimanded for being the gentleman… what was worse, though, was that he had come here only to make the situation worse for Helen.

'Get out. I don't want to see you ever again,' she repeated, not looking at him and opening her window.

'Come on Helen, you don't mean that… can't you see, though? It's just not right now,' Sirius said reasonably.

'Get out! Get out!' Helen said, pushing him away from her.

Sirius sighed.

'I…'

'If you don't get out now, I'll start screaming,' Helen said eyes wide. 

She was embarrassed. Sirius realised this now.

'Look, I don't think…'

'One… Two…'

'Okay, okay. I'll go. I don't think I should, but you're obviously unfit to speak reasonably with,' Sirius grumbled, climbing out of the window.

Helen slammed it shut behind him and lay back on her bed, facing the opposite direction.

Sirius stared at her back sadly before turning to leave. He had not helped but, instead, had matters much, much worse.

* * *

'She's not coming,' Sirius said mournfully, looking out of the compartment window for Helen.

'Look, we can't do anything now. We'll just have to all go speak to Dumbledore at school. I'm sure he'll sort something out,' Lily said practically, but also worried about her friend.

'I still don't understand, though, Sirius. What exactly happened when you visited her?' Remus asked, frowning.

'Never you mind,' Sirius said darkly, sitting back in his seat very moodily as the train began to move. She had not made the train. She was not coming back.

The others surveyed him.

'Did you have a fight?' Lily asked disbelievingly.

'I said it's none of your business,' Sirius snapped, turning haughtily to the window.

'Don't speak to Evans like that,' James said indignantly.

Sirius shrugged and resumed his staring out the window.

* * *

The compartment door opened and Helen walked in, looking exhausted. She sat down next to Remus silently.

Everyone, except for Sirius who hadn't noticed, turned and stared at her and then shouted; 'YOU MADE IT!' before each person began babbling, all of them hugging her.

Sirius turned to see Helen and felt relief sweep his body. She was here.

Helen, however, avoided Sirius' eyes as she sat down. Everyone looked at her, waiting for an explanation which she did not produce. When Lily asked her how she got there, Helen stood up abruptly and left the compartment. They heard a sob from outside as she ran away.

Lily and Remus got up to go after her, but sat back down when they saw Sirius rising purposefully.

'I'll go,' he said grimly, following her out of the door.

--

Sirius found Helen sitting in an empty compartment, hugging her knees and staring out of the window. If she registered his presence, she did not show it.

'Are you still mad at me?' he sighed, sitting next to her.

Helen didn't say anything.

He put his arm around her. She did not shrug it off- always a good sign.

'Won't you say anything?' he whispered, kissing her on the cheek.

A tear leaked out of Helen's eye.

'I'm… so ashamed,' Helen said finally, her cheeks tingeing red. She could not bring herself to face Sirius.

'Don't be…'

'I wasn't thinking straight.'

'I know.'

'I was upset.'

'I know, I saw.'

'Do you think I'm a whore now?'

Sirius laughed and pulled her closer to him. 

'I might think you are many things, but never that. Come on; even if you repeated the question right here and now I wouldn't think that… do you want to?' Sirius asked, cheekily.

Helen's eyes widened and Sirius knew she really was ashamed of herself.

'I was only joking… I'll never bring it up again until you do. How's that?' he said, smiling and tucking her hair behind her ear.

Helen nodded, leaning on his shoulder, listening to his heart beat.

'So how did you manage to get away?' Sirius asked after a while.

Helen didn't respond.

'Let's not talk about it now… I just want to… sit,' Helen said, closing her eyes.

* * *

Helen and Sirius returned to the other compartment half an hour before they arrived at Hogwarts. They both sat together silently. The others did not press them for information. Helen already looked like she been through an ordeal and didn't look as though she could take being harassed at this moment.

They found a carriage after they arrived and got in silently. Helen's dampened mood had a huge effect on the group which lasted throughout the sorting and most of the feast.

* * *

Before the feast was over and they were sent to their dorms, Dumbledore stood up, clapping his hands.

'Thank you, thank you,' he said, bowing to the applause he received. 'I hope you have all had time to clear your heads during the holidays and get up to no good so that all that mischievous energy is out of your systems now and I will not be hearing of any misdemeanours of students from Mr Filch.' Dumbledore said, his lip twitching and his eyes flickering to the marauders who grinned at each other.

* * *

They all made their way to the common room and looked at Helen, still a little warily.

'Do you want to know?' she offered, walking to the window and staring out at the grounds.

They all nodded, sitting around the fire.

'I confunded them,' Helen said, still looking outside.

'Who?... Your parents? How? I thought they had taken your wand?' Lily said, slightly horrified at the idea of confunding one's parents.

'I know… they did. I… I have problems controlling my wandless magic. I just… it just happened. I was so desperate to leave that, when they came to my room it just happened. Next thing I knew, I was running, grabbing my stuff and they told me to be a good girl and concentrate in school,' Helen said, laughing bitterly.

The five faces looked up at Helen in awe.

'You confunded them without a wand?' Remus asked.

'Yes. I already said that,' Helen said, slumping into an armchair.

'But… Helen, that's really, really advanced magic. Not many people can do anything at all without a wand,' James said seriously.

Helen looked at them strangely.

'You can't do anything without a wand?' she asked, surprised.

They shook their heads.

'I can open and close flowers,' Lily offered. 'That's not exactly high-class magic,' she added.

'How long have you been able to do wandless magic for?' Sirius asked quietly.

Helen shrugged and tried to think back.

'Well, I set this girl's hair on fire when I was eight… she really annoyed me… then I made Marina's nose bleed in second year...' Helen's lip twitched as she added, 'and your pumpkin juice when we were fighting over Snape.' 

'I thought you used a wand for those?' James said, aghast.

Helen shook her head.

'Can you do anything else?' Remus asked.

'I don't know. I never really practised it… it just happens when I'm really angry or in a bad situation I suppose… I'm sure it's no big deal,' Helen shrugged.

The rest of the group didn't seem to agree.

Helen let out a vehement sigh.

'Fine then, I'm a freak… I'm going to bed,' she snapped, storming off to her dorm, ignoring their calls for her to come back and pretending to be asleep when Lily entered.

* * *

That night, Helen lay awake wondering. How was it that she possessed so much magical power? She was muggle-born. Why couldn't the others do wandless magic to the extent that she could? 

**There are a few things that irked me about this one... but I think you all understand that it didn't make it for reasons etc...**


	8. Chapter 8

**This is when Helen and Sirius are living together the first time round. Helen is asking Sirius for some help for what she missed when she was sick (as I explained earlier, Helen became sick originally).**

**And James had already found out about their sleeping together.**

'But that doesn't make sense! You just said that the reverse principle only applied if the system was progressing!' Helen said.

'I… wait,' Sirius said checking the book.

'Yeah, you're right… blimey, good thing that wasn't on the exam!'

'Hmmm,' Helen said, looking from the book to Sirius' haphazard notes.

'What! Don't tell me you've found another mistake! Seriously, in all this time, you've done more teaching than me!' Sirius sighed, exasperated.

The fire, suddenly, flashed green and Helen and Sirius turned to see who it was.

It was James, holding his hands over his eyes.

'If you're doing something I don't want to see, tell me to come back later,' he said.

'Come back later,' Helen and Sirius said together.

'You're doing it in the living room? That's disgusting,' James said, not leaving, yet still covering his eyes.

'No you fool. We're not doing anything but studying,' Helen said.

'Is she lying, Sirius?' James said, still covering his eyes.

'As if she would lie about something like that!' Sirius exclaimed indignantly.

James uncovered his eyes.

'Would you care to come in?' Helen asked, surveying her friend incredulously.

'Yes please,' James said, stepping into their living room rather quickly.

'Well?' Sirius said, expectantly.

'Well what?' asked James, confused.

'What do you want?' asked Sirius.

'I'm bored at home, that's what,' James said moodily, slumping on their couch.

Sirius and Helen exchanged bemused glances.

'Can't one of you come and stay with me?' James moaned.

'Well, the other one would get pretty bored then,' Helen replied.

'Why don't you both come, then?' James suggested.

Neither Helen nor Sirius replied to this, looking back at their books.

'Oh… sorry, you like your 'privacy,'' said James sarcastically.

Helen and Sirius rolled their eyes and kept on writing.

'Are you just going to keep on studying?' James asked, sitting up and looking at them as though they were mad.

'You can join us,' Helen suggested.

'Studying? On holidays? Yuk. Sirius, I have changed my mind. Helen is unacceptable for you. She has turned you into a bookworm. Whilst I accept that characteristic in Remus, I cannot, for the life of me, accept it as a trait in you,' James said dramatically.

'Ok,' Sirius said, apparently not listening.

'You really are studying?' James asked in disbelief.

'You're welcome to join us,' Helen said, crossing out a sentence in her essay.

'No thanks… you guys are turning boring. Just like married couples. Bor-ing. I'm going to Peter's. Maybe he'll be up for some mischief,' James said, turning to go to the fire.

'Don't forget tomorrow night,' Helen called after him.

'As long as it's not as boring as your house is at present, I'll be there,' James said, before disappearing.

'The funny thing is,' Sirius remarked, 'is that he's been trying to get study dates off Lily since fourth year.'

Helen smiled.

'Perhaps we should go cheer him up after we finished this,' she suggested.

'Yeah… but I want to get this done first. Imagine! No more potions until September in half an hour!' Sirius said, smiling at the thought of it.

* * *

'What happened to Peter?' Helen asked, bemused, as James soared around in the sky, refusing to come down.

'He had stupid tutoring for potions,' said James, annoyed.

'Did you try Remus?' called Sirius.

'Ha! He's even worse. 'Are Helen and Sirius coming? No? Well, if they have study, so do I!'' mimicked James in distaste.

'Well, we _are_ here now,' Helen pointed out.

'I don't care. I have everything I could want, at present, to stay contented for hours,' James said, looking very bored flying aimlessly around.

'Fine, in that case… we'll leave you,' said Sirius, putting his arm around Helen as they made their way back to the house.

Just as they were stepping into the fire, James ran into the room, panting and screaming 'Ok. I was just pissed off. I don't want you to go!'

Sirius and Helen smiled knowingly.

'Knew you'd come to,' Sirius said, putting his arm around James' shoulder.

'What do you want to do, then?' Helen asked.

'Anything!' said James.

'We could…'

'We could go out?' suggested Helen.

'Yeah! You can teach me about muggle things so when I meet Mr Evans again, I can impress him with my knowledge!' said James, excited at the prospect.

Sirius shrugged.

Helen rolled her eyes, but grinned, nonetheless. This was going to be fun.

'Now, here we have what is called a telephone,' Helen said, stopping by a phone booth.

'What's _that_ for?' asked James in awe, as though it was some strange contraption.

'It's used to communicate with people,' Helen said.

'How?' Sirius asked, intrigued also.

Helen placed a coin in the slot and looked through the phone directory and dialled a random number.

'Here,' she said, holding the phone out to Sirius and James, who took a step back.

'Here,' Helen repeated, rolling her eyes. The two boys edged nearer to the phone, tentatively.

'Hello?' came a voice on the receiver end of the phone.

'It's talking!' Sirius exclaimed.

'Hello? We're using a phellytone! Haha! A phellytone!' said James, laughing and excited.

'Fuck off you stupid pricks,' retorted the woman on the receiver, very angry, before hanging up.

'Something I said?' James asked, affronted at the woman's language.

'Erm… it's a telephone, not a phellytone, James,' Helen said, trying to hold back her laughter.

They kept on walking down the path.

'What's this?' Sirius asked, pointing to a motorcycle in awe.

'A motorbike,' Helen replied simply.

'Wow!' Sirius said.

'That thing looks awesome,' James replied, also staring at it.

'What do they do?' Sirius asked, looking at Helen.

Helen could not help it. She burst out laughing.

'What?' asked Sirius defensively.

'That's like the muggle equivalent of a broomstick,' Helen said, still struggling not to laugh.

'Yeah, but what does it do? Does it fly?'

'Er… no,' Helen said, grinning. 'There's one over there,' Helen said, pointing to the motorbike which just zoomed past them on the road.

Sirius and James held onto each other.

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Prongs?'

'I think I am, Padfoot…'

'I'm going to get one,' Sirius said happily.

'Really,' Helen said sarcastically.

'Yes,' Sirius said.

'How?' she replied.

'What are you here for?' he retorted, as though it was obvious.

'Oh, I see. You don't actually want me here. You're just using me to have a good time and to understand that a phellytone doesn't bite,' Helen snapped.

'I thought it was telephone?' James asked, confused.

Helen rolled her eyes and walked ahead.

'Why can't I get one?' Sirius demanded.

'Oh, you can get one, by all means. Just don't expect me to have anything to do with it,' Helen said, still walking ahead of them.

It was at that point that a group of muggle boys, around their age, walked past Helen and stared at her; she was beautiful after all. One of them whistled at her. They stood there, checking her out.

She gave them a charming smile and walked on, knowing it would incense Sirius. One of them broke away and started talking to her.

'Hey, sugar. You're looking awful pretty,' he said.

Helen rolled her eyes, not buying this crap, but thinking it would be funny all along.

'Why, thank you,' she replied, still walking on.

'Me an' the boys are going for a couple 'o drinks. Wanna join us?' he asked her, enthralled by her aura.

Helen heard Sirius and James running up to her.

'Who the hell do you think you are?' fumed Sirius.

'Who the hell do you think _you_ are?' the guy retorted. He was taller than Sirius and James.

'Her boyfriend, that's who,' Sirius said, hotly.

'You? Honey, you can do much better than him!' the guy said, turning to Helen who was now regretting encouraging him.

'Maybe… but you wouldn't count as better than him,' she said, walking away, Sirius and James laughing at the guy's stupid expression and following Helen.

'Slut!' the guy spat after her.

Before Sirius or James had reached the guy; and they were running pretty quickly, a branch from the tree had falling, pinning him to the ground as he yelped for help. Helen stared at him, cold fury etched in her face, before turning on her heel and walking off.

'What the hell did you think you were doing?' exclaimed Sirius when he reached her.

'I don't like it when guys swear at girls like that,' Helen said, still angry.

'I meant leading him on… who cares about the branch thing?' Sirius said.

'Well, I wasn't really leading him on…' Helen said.

'Yes you were,' Sirius said, hotly.

'I was walking down the street and that's a crime? Just because other guys notice me, it doesn't mean I'm leading them on. Maybe they just think I'm pretty,' Helen said, annoyed.

'How would you like it if I started hitting on some girl?' Sirius retorted.

'First of all, I wasn't hitting on him. Would you like me to show you 'hitting on him?' Fine. See that guy up there? I'll hit on him and you can see the difference,' Helen said, walking ahead. She felt Sirius grab her arm back and spin her around before kissing her.

'Oh man,' moaned James, turning around.

Helen smiled when she broke away from Sirius and wrinkled her nose, saying; 'You're probably a better kisser than he was anyway.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Come on Helen… I don't know muggle talk… please?' said Sirius pouting.

'No!'

'What do I have to do?'

'Haha… I need to think on that one.'

'Come on… please?'

'You. Are In-suff-er-a-ble!' Helen said emphasising each syllable.

Sirius pulled off a charming smile.

'We established at the Yule Ball a few years ago, _ma cheri_, that I am impervious to your charms. It's not going to work.'

'Oh, come on Helen… as a present for breaking up with me.'

'Don't you dare use that against me,' Helen said, pointing a threatening finger.

'Well… for all the emotional trauma it caused me?'

'What present are you going to get me, then? I suffered more.'

'I'll get you a present. What do you want?'

'Nothing.'

'Well, think about it. In the meantime…'

'Oh my Lord…' Helen said, barging into the shop, very disgruntled.

'Hello,' she said, to the young male sales assistant.

'Why, hello there ma'am. How may I help you?' he said, quite taken by his prospective client's beauty.

'Well, my little brother over here,' she said, dragging Sirius who gave her a reproachful look at being called her 'little brother', 'would like a motorbike for his birthday, and I am taking him shopping, now, to choose one,' she replied.

'Aha! And which make were you after, sir?' the assistant asked.

'That one,' Sirius said, pointing to the Harley Davidson chopper. 

Helen rolled her eyes.

'He wants the Harley,' she said, flashing a charming smile at the assistant.

'Oh… a big choice for such a young man… but very hip, to be sure,' said the assistant, leading them over to it.

'Shall I leave you alone for a moment?' asked the sales assistant once they reached the bike.

'Only a moment,' smiled Helen, causing him to blush.

Once he had gone, Sirius looked very annoyed.

'Stop flirting with him. What the hell? I'm you're little brother?'

'That's disgusting. Incest… eew,' said James, shuddering.

'James, shut up. Sirius, if you want me to get the damn thing, you will remain my little brother and put up with me smiling at him. Understood? …What do you want this one for anyway?'

'It's the biggest one,' said Sirius, simply.

Helen rolled her eyes, before turning and flashing another charming smile at the assistant who had returned.

'Shall we discuss prices, then?' stammered the assistant, his ears becoming red as Helen gazed into his eyes.

'Yes… I would dearly love to buy my little brother his dream present but, of course, pricing is an issue. What is the best price you can give me?' she asked, batting her eyelashes.

'Um… I… it's usually around 10,000 pounds,' stammered the assistant.

'Oh, but you and I know that that is _far_ too expensive,' said Helen, not breaking eye contact.

'Yes… of course…. I can… how about 7,000?' the assistant stammered.

Helen heard the other two behind her let out a happy expression at this price and stepped on their feet.

'Five thousand?' Helen frowned, 'I'm afraid that is still an awful amount of money… and the best you can do? Oh, I'm so sorry Sirius. I'm sorry I can't buy you that bike…Maybe one day when I am making more money…' she said, turning to Sirius who had an incredulous expression on his face.

'Well… I will get into a lot of trouble but… how about… six thousand?' the assistant said desperately.

'Six thousand?' frowned Helen.

'Okay! I'll probably lose my job, but… oh, what the hell! Five thousand and…' the assistant blushed furiously… 'Five thousand and dinner?' he said hopefully.

Helen heard Sirius make an indignant noise.

Helen smiled. 

'We have a deal Mr…'

'McKinnon. Tom McKinnon.'

'Helen Black,' Helen said, as he led her to the chair to sign the forms.

'And may I be able pay by cheque?' said Helen, smiling sweetly.

'Of course,' said McKinnon, almost melting.

Helen handed over the cheque and the papers were signed. As they were leaving; and Sirius was wheeling his new bike out of the shop, the assistant asked to arrange the date.

'How about tonight?' Helen suggested.

'Tonight! Brilliant! There's a beautiful little Italian restaurant around the corner… shall we say… 8 o'clock?'

'Sounds perfect,' pouted Helen, turning to leave with a very incensed Sirius and a James on the point of bursting into fits of laughter.

'What the hell?' rounded Sirius on Helen once they were around the corner.

'Oh, don't worry. I won't be going,' Helen said, nonchalantly.

'You're going to stand him up?' James asked, thinking that it was rather harsh of Helen.

'Oh no… no… he's not going to be stood up. We're going to use some of your mum's Polyjuice potion, James, and Sirius is going to go as me to the date,' said Helen, smiling at the idea.

'WHAT!' shouted Sirius, stopping in his tracks.

'You wanted the bike,' Helen snapped.

'I would have taken it for 6000 without the date,' Sirius said hotly.

'Well, think of what you can do with the extra 1000 now,' Helen said sweetly.

'Use it to hire a murderer,' Sirius muttered under his breath.

Helen and James burst out laughing.

'I'm not going on that date,' warned Sirius.

'Well, that poor man is not getting stood up. Take your pick. It's either you or me,' Helen said, crossing her arms and knowing which option he would choose.

'You can sleep in your own bed tonight,' said Sirius mutinously.

James covered his ears.

'I don't mind,' Helen shrugged.

'Actually, you can sleep at James' house tonight. I might be getting busy with Mr…'

'McKinnon,' Helen finished for him.

'Him.'

'Okay,' Helen shrugged.

'You don't care?'

'I know you won't, so no,' Helen laughed.

'Why did you say your name was Helen Black, anyway?' Sirius said after a while.

'I wasn't going to use my real name, surely!' Helen said, as though this was obvious.

'So you used mine,' said Sirius, very annoyed.

'Half of yours,' Helen corrected.

Sirius rolled his eyes and Helen rounded on him.

'Listen, you. You have no right to be angry; No right whatsoever. I got you the bike at the best price ever, so shut up and thank me rather than give me that attitude,' she said, now annoyed too.

'I don't see you having to have to dress up as a girl and go on some date with some guy,' Sirius said moodily.

'Er… should I point out the obvious that I am a girl and that I do go on dates with guys?'

'No.'

'Okay then,' said Helen, turning to laugh with James.

* * *

'What's this?' asked Mr Potter, coming out of the house to meet them when they returned.

'Sirius' new motorbike, which he doesn't know how to use or even ride for that matter,' answered Helen.

'Erm… congratulations, I think,' said a very confused Mr Potter.

'Thanks,' said Sirius moodily, leaning it against the shed.

'Dad, where's the polyjuice potion?' James piped up.

'Why?' asked Mr Potter suspiciously.

* * *

'Look at that! You're so pretty, Sirius!' laughed James with Helen as Sirius emerged from James' bathroom, looking like Helen.

'That's my… ex-girlfriend you're talking about,' growled Sirius.

Helen sat up, clutching her side from laughter.

'Ex?' she asked, still giggling.

'Yes. We have officially broken up,' he said, seriously.

Helen screwed up her nose.

'That's just wrong… me breaking up with myself,' she said, shivering, but then continuing to laugh with James.

Sirius rolled his eyes and started fixing his hair.

'Here- you should do it like this,' Helen said, going to fix it.

'You… do not come near me at present. I might just kill you,' Sirius said warningly.

'I doubt it; you're in my body now, remember?' Helen said, sweetly.

'Gah!' said Sirius, exasperated and storming back into the bathroom to change.

Suddenly, there was a burst of laughter from the bathroom.

Helen and James exchanged unsure glances.

'Sirius?' James called out.

'Helen… haha! I can look at you naked now… haha!' came Sirius' laughter.

'YOU!' Helen screamed, storming into the bathroom.

'Get clothes on RIGHT NOW!' she screamed.

'Why?' pouted Sirius, in her manner.

'BECAUSE! THIS IS ABUSE! GET THEM ON RIGHT NOW,' Helen screamed, trying to pull underwear onto Sirius who was now doubled over in laughter.

'Looks like someone got a little taste of their own medicine?' he laughed, complying with her as he put clothes on.

Helen shot him a dirty look.

'Don't worry _ma cherie_… I'll keep them on tonight…very on,' added Sirius in an undertone.

'Here's the rest of the potion. Don't forget; or else you really will be walking around a muggle town naked,' said James, handing Sirius the bottle with the rest of the potion.

Helen smiled sweetly.

'No kiss for you. I hate you at present.'

'I never really was one to kiss myself, anyway,' Helen said, shrugging.

'Here's our beautiful… ahem… _Sirius_,' laughed Mr Potter with Mrs Potter as Sirius stormed out of the house.

* * *

'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,' Helen said, looking out of the shutters in James' room for the hundredth time this evening.

'Relax, Helen… I'm sure he's fine,' laughed James.

'Hmmm,' Helen said, hoping James was right.

Midnight came, and he still wasn't back.

'Something's not right,' Helen said, pacing James' room.

James looked at the clock and was forced to concede that something, indeed, was not right.

'Let's go check the restaurant,' James suggested.

They ran out of the house and were at the restaurant in five minutes. It was empty and Sirius… in Helen's form… was nowhere to be seen.

Helen was quite pale now.

'This is all my fault,' she said, wringing her hands.

'He had his wand, though, it's not like anything could have actually happened,' James said.

Helen, however, was not reassured.

They returned, very glumly, to the house.

'Maybe he's at home?' Helen suggested.

'Yeah… good idea,' James said.

'How would he have gotten there, though?' asked Helen

'Good point… it's so far away.'

'But where is he?'

'Oh no,' Helen cried, sinking to the floor in sobs.

'Hey, don't cry… Sirius can look after himself,' James said, trying to console her.

'It was a stupid joke. I was just annoyed at him, but I knew he would end up doing it and now… who knows what's happened to him. What if…' Helen started sobbing again.

'I'm sure, wherever he is, he's fine,' James said, uncertainly.

'How can you believe that? He had no idea about muggle stuff… what if… oh my God… no, I'm such a bad person. Why?' sobbed Helen into James' shoulder.

'Okay, I would love to keep making you feel guilty, _ma cherie,_ but I think James is too comfortable with you on his shoulder, so I'll ease your guilt; I'm fine,' said Sirius, entering the room, grinning.

Helen looked up at him glumly and he laughed at her.

'It seems like you guys had a great time,' Sirius said sarcastically.

Helen gave an affected sniff.

'How did you go?' James asked, bemused by the situation.

'Oh well, dear Tom really is quite a dashing young man with such dreams and aspirations. He was such a gentleman for most of the night.'

'Most?' James asked, fighting back his laughter.

Sirius flopped on the ground glumly.

'He… he… he kissed me,' spat Sirius in disgust.

Helen and James blinked and, before Sirius knew it, the two of them were roaring in laughter on the ground.

'Aren't you meant to be upset?' he asked Helen.

'Hell no! This is great! Hahaha! Wait till we tell the others!' Helen laughed.

Sirius sighed.

'And here I was; about to forgive you after watching you crying your damned eyes out for ten minutes.'

'The result was worth it,' said Helen, wiping away tears of laughter.

'So… what was it like?' James asked, in disgusted fascination.

'What?' asked Sirius, pretending as though he didn't understand.

'Did he stick his tongue down your throat?' Helen asked before she and James clutched at each other and rolled around on the floor again in laughter.

Sirius looked at them in disgust.

'I have monsters for friends. I take what I said earlier back, _ma cherie._ My bed is not being occupied by your sorry arse for the rest of the holidays,' Sirius said, standing up and going to leave.

'Well, just as well we've got my bed,' Helen called after him, before laughing uncontrollably with James again.

* * *

'Oh, hello Sirius dear how was your date?' asked Mrs Potter as Sirius went down to the kitchen; he couldn't fit much food in Helen's stomach.

Sirius glowered at her before sitting miserably at the kitchen table.

'She doesn't even care.'

'She _was_ crying quite a bit before,' said Mrs Potter soothingly.

'Hmph. Well, she seems to be crying of laughter at the moment,' said Sirius moodily, prodding at the fruit bowl.

Mrs Potters lips twitched.

'Don't you start,' Sirius warned her, as Mrs Potter adopted an extremely sombre expression appropriate at a funeral.

Sirius sighed.

'It's been a long day,' he said.

'You should get some rest, dear,' Mrs Potter said.

'I suppose she wants to stay here and laugh about it more with James,' Sirius said, looking wistfully at the stairs.

Mrs Potter smiled.

'I'm sure she wouldn't, actually.' Mrs Potter said.

'What makes you so sure?' Sirius asked.

'Because she may have fun with and like my son as a playmate, but, at the end of the day, she loves you and you saw that when you saw her crying before. People always go home with the one they love at the end of the day,' Mrs Potter said, wisely.

'Some love she has,' Sirius snorted. 

Mrs Potter smiled.

'Well… we all like to have our fun every now and again,' she said.

Sirius stood up.

'Well, I'm going home, now. Tell her she can come back if she likes,' Sirius said, kissing his surrogate mother on the cheek and walking towards the fireplace.

'WAIT!' he heard Helen shout just as he was about to step into the fireplace.

He surveyed her wearily.

'Okay. I am sorry I had fun at your expense. I am sorry you had to endure a kiss with another guy… I imagine it must have been horrible. I am not sorry I made you do the thing because you were being a prat about the bike and accusing me of flirting with a guy just because I was walking down the street. Nonetheless, I think I have more sorries, than not sorries… Oh, and I promise I won't bring today up again until your 21st,' Helen added.

Sirius surveyed her.

'You can be a real bitch sometimes, Asteria.'

Helen smiled sweetly.

'And stop that damn smile. It gets us into too much trouble,' Sirius grumbled, leading her to the fireplace.

'Bye James, bye Mrs Potter,' Helen called, before spinning around in the fireplace.

* * *

'Okay, I really am sorry,' Helen said truthfully after Sirius as gave her a reproachful look and turned to go upstairs.

'Whatever,'

'Don't whatever me,' Helen said, following him.

'What do you want me to say?' he said, turning to face her suddenly.

'I don't know. Vent your anger… I'm pretty good at bringing out that side in people,' Helen suggested.

'I'm too tired. You forget, I've had a very emotionally draining day,' Sirius said, turning to walk back up the stairs.

Helen stopped in her tracks as Sirius walked off.

'Fine then. See if I care,' she shouted, slamming her bedroom door behind her.

She grinned as she heard Sirius' footsteps to her room.

'Don't slam doors on me; you have no right to do that. I am the one who is angry with you and I can decide when… if ever, I shall forgive you,' shouted Sirius, very close to her.

He had done it so many times to her that Helen didn't even need to think. She grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him towards her, kissing him. At first he seemed to have half a mind to push her away, put then kissed her back, practically ripping her dress as he tugged at the zip so forcefully. Helen was a little surprised in this, but was enthralled by it all the same. She was very quick by now in taking of his shirts and did so in a flash. It seemed like only a heartbeat had passed between her kissing him and them lying on her bed, completely naked. This time, when they made love, it was much more rough, intense and surprising than the first two times. Pain soon brought such a sweet and intense pleasure…

* * *

They both lay on their separate pillows, stunned and panting, when it was over. 

Finally, Sirius spoke.

'I'm sorry,' he said, quietly.

Helen looked at him, surprised.

'I shouldn't have gotten so angry at you before. I… I just didn't like the way the sleaze was talking to you,' Sirius said.

'You never like the way any guy talks to me,' Helen said truthfully.

'Well, that's not strictly true. See, I know you'll never go for Peter so…'

Helen shuddered.

'Please don't talk about him when we're in bed,' Helen said.

'Why don't you like him?' Sirius asked, turning to face Helen.

Helen sighed. 'I… I guess it's not fair, but, well, he seems the type who just likes to sponge off other people's success; small guy big friends. I don't like that. I think you should be with those who are equal to,' Helen said.

'Well…'

'I know he's your friend,' Helen added quickly, 'so let's just forget it.' 

Sirius didn't pursue the matter.

Helen grinned.

'What?' Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

'I just wonder if you'll keep to your word about not letting me into your bed for the rest of the holidays,' Helen shrugged.

Sirius smirked.

'Your bed's perfectly fine,' he said.

Helen rolled her eyes.

'Imagine if I got angry and banned you from my bed. What would we do?' she asked dramatically.

'Buy new beds of course,' Sirius grinned, stretching out his arms.

Helen laughed as Sirius kissed her neck and went progressively lower.

He leaned his head on her stomach. 

'You're a funny girl, Asteria,' he sighed, thinking that no one could ever hold such a power over him as she did.

'Why?' Helen demanded.

'You just are.'

'You can't accuse me of being funny and not give me a good reason,' Helen said, hotly.

'Because your lust for me is insatiable,' he said, kissing his way back up to her lips which he kissed passionately.

'I guess that makes you funny too, then,' Helen said, after they had broken away from each other.

'It's a funny world,' Sirius said sleepily.

Helen smiled and closed her eyes.

Sirius was right. It was a funny world but, somehow, she didn't mind it. 


	9. Original Ch 1

_Okay... seeing as I'm editing TGM now, I'm putting original chapters which I drastically change up here. I hope the new version of Ch 1 seems much less 'Mary-Sue' like. This edit has really been a long time coming. _

* * *

Chapter 1- Bad beginnings.

She stood between platforms 9 and 10, next to a trolley in which she had a large trunk and a black cat. Her hands hung limply by her sides as she looked around the station, trying to salvage some clues as to what she should do next.

Although she was only a young girl, of 11, she already showed signs of unusual beauty. She was of average height and had a slender, willowy figure. She had a pale, porcelain-like complexion which radiated against the contrast of her dark, copper-brown, waist-length hair. Her eyes were transitional, but mostly hazel; in between green and brown. It was these hazel eyes which, full of despair, darted around the station, as she silently pleaded for a sign. She did not have to wait for too long. After a short while, she saw a boy of similar age to her wheeling his trolley towards her direction. Inside this trolley was an owl. She smiled, relieved. She pushed her trolley towards him.

'Excuse me, hi, sorry, um…' then, realising that she was making no sense at all, stuck out her hand and said, 'Hi, my name's Helen.'

The boy, wearing a confused expression, hesitantly took her hand, 'Sirius.'

'I'm so sorry, it's just that I don't know where platform 9 ¾ is… do you know? Could you please tell me how to get there?'

It was at this point, that another boy came up to Sirius and said, 'Hey, what's up?' but, on noticing Helen, said, 'who's your friend?' with a wry smile.

Sirius, introduced Helen to his friend, who was James Potter, and added that she was looking for platform 9 ¾.

James rolled his eyes and said, 'Oh, I know, they have been so unspecific about how to get there. Why don't you two wait here? I'll go find out,' to which he wheeled his trolley around, winked at Helen, and started running towards a barrier.

'He's going to smash into the barrier!' Helen said, horrified.

'Nah, don't worry, he'll disappear before then. He can disapparate- he'll go to the, er… 'Wizarding Information Bureau.'' Sirius said, with an amused smile.

After ten minutes of waiting, however, and as the clock became dangerously near 11 am, Helen asked if something may have gone wrong.

'Hmmm, you know what? Wait here, I'll go see what he's doing- though, chances are that there is a huge queue at that bureau.'

On seeing Helen's worried face, Sirius added, 'don't worry, I'll be back.'

Helen watched, as he did the same thing as James; the same running towards a barrier.

She waited, for another 5 minutes, when she noticed a group of people, wearing robes very similar to her Hogwarts ones, running towards the same barrier, and then disappearing. Despairing, Helen looked at her watch, 10.55 am. It was at this point that it occurred to her that she may have been tricked. She looked at the barrier, and 'lo and behold!' it was ¾ between platform 9 and platform 10. Feeling a hot wave of anger- and stupidity- at her having been tricked so easily, she ran towards the barrier.

* * *

Finally on the train, luggage safely loaded, Helen looked for an empty compartment in which she could sit. She walked past many full compartments and it was at this point that she felt the first pang of loneliness. She saw groups of girls, chatting animatedly about their summer vacation, boys swapping cards from chocolate frogs. Helen knew no one and, after the 'barrier incident' felt as though she could trust no one either. Finally, after searching most of the compartments, she found one which only had one boy in it.

'Sorry, I was wondering if I could sit in here. Everywhere else is full,' she said, desperate to find somewhere to sit.

The boy turned to face her and his eyes lit up. 'Sure. I'm Remus,' he said, extending his hand.

'Helen,' she said, shaking it.

'Are you a first year as well?'

'Yes.' Helen was in no mood to have a lengthy conversation with this boy as she felt that he too could betray her as James and Sirius had. Remus, however, seemed to sense that she was simply overwhelmed the happenings of the day.

'How are you finding it so far? I'm finding it a bit overwhelming to tell you the truth. You'll never believe what I did today… I ran into the barrier between platforms 8 and 9 rather than the one between 9 and 10 which was, of course, really embarrassing because my trolley smashed into the barrier sending everything everywhere and all these muggles were telling me off!'

Helen couldn't help but smile at Remus and his genuine nature. Despite her bad beginnings with Sirius, she felt as though things would be okay- so long as she had Remus to latch on to.

* * *

The train drew to a halt at Hogsmeade Station. By this stage, Helen and Remus had changed into their robes and were awaiting, in trepidation, their first impression of their new school.

A voice shouted: 'Firs years, over here!' and Helen gasped to see a gigantic man with a mass of hair around his hair.

She and Remus made their way over to the man.

'Righ'. 'Ello to you all. My name's 'Agrid and I'm the gamekeeper here at Hogwarts. Now, it's tradition for all firs' years to cross the great lake to the school for their sorting ceremony. So, I wan' you all to sort into groups of four and then get into a boat.'

It was very dark and hard to see who was who, so Helen, clutching onto Remus' arm so they wouldn't separate, followed him to a boat in which they both got in.

The two boys in the boat stopped talking and looked at them. Helen wanted to leave the boat immediately but, no sooner than had she thought this did the boat magically start gliding along the lake.

The two boys were James and Sirius, the ones who deceived Helen at the station. They shifted uneasily in their chairs under Helen's glare. Sirius then turned to Remus and held out his hand.

'Sirius Black, and this is James Potter,' he said, indicating James.

'Remus Lupin,' replied Remus, shaking their hands, 'and this is-'

'Oh don't bother, Remus. We've already met,' said Helen icily, looking the other way.

'Wh-?' Remus started, confused.

'Er-' James started.

'I see the Wizarding Information Bureau was not _too _busy this morning.' Helen said ironically.

'What? There's no such thing as the-' Remus said, sounding bewildered.

'Oh I know Remus. These two, however, seem to think otherwise.'

Remus was about to reply but the castle came into view.

'Wow!' he breathed, awestruck.

All four of them stared at the castle; the place which was to change their lives forever.

* * *

'Asteria, Helen.'

Helen walked with trepidation to the hat. Which house would she be in? She looked around at the tables. One glance told her that there was one house in which she did _not_ want to be in; Slytherin. They looked at her with the utmost contempt. One mouthed the word 'mudblood' at her and she felt even more strongly against that House.

She sat on the stool, lifted the ancient hat and dropped it on her head. It was so large that it covered her eyes. Helen gasped when it started talking in her ear.

'_Hmm… a daughter of Asteria?... Interesting. Now where shall I put you? You possess the qualities of all houses. My, my, you shall be a difficult choice. Hmmmm…. No, I don't think you are a Hufflepuff. Indeed, that you are not, now that I see. You have much intelligence. Ravenclaw would be honoured to have you as one of hers and, yet, you also possess certain cunning to be in Slytherin…'_

'NO!' thought Helen.

'_Not Slytherin? When they value the purity of blood above all? You may like to reconsider this. You could be greater than all the others before you… you could truly harness it to your advantage… but, yes, I understand what you mean… you are above such notions. Oh, but my oh my, what a difficult choice!'_

Helen was confused by the hat's comment on purity on blood for she was muggle-born. She ignored this though as her heart dropped that the hat had not mentioned, of all houses, the one she secretly desired to be part of: Gryffindor.

'_But of course, the one house which I have left until last! Gryffindor. You possess many qualities of the true Gryffindor. Yes, I see true courage and selflessness in your heart. But still: Which house? Not Hufflepuff. And you don't want Slytherin- yes, I quite agree. Not Slytherin. Then, we must decide! Ravenclaw or Gryffindor? Your intelligence would be further nurtured in Ravenclaw… but, now that I delve deeper into your mind I see that you are a true Gryffindor and no other house will serve you as well. Well! That was the longest sorting I ever did! …GRYFFINDOR!'_ shouted the hat finally.

Helen's felt relief swoop all over her body. She took the hat off, placed it on the stool, and walked very quickly to the Gryffindor table, which had erupted in cheers. She sat down next to a kind-looking girl.

'Anika Moss. Well done, and welcome to Gryffindor! That was the longest sorting ever! We were starting to think the hat had died!' she laughed.

Helen shifted in her chair uncomfortably. Thankfully, however, she didn't need to respond as the hall had hushed as Professor McGonagall barked the next name.

'_Black, Sirius.'_

Helen glared at him as he walked to the hat. Hopefully he would be in Slytherin so she wouldn't have to associate much with him.

The hat sat on his head. Helen saw him shake his head vigorously under the hat at one point. Seconds later, it shouted: _'Gryffindor!'_

Helen groaned and looked the other way as he sat down next to her.

'Well, looks like we might have to start getting along then!' he said brightly in her ear.

Helen turned to him and gave him such a dirty look that he fell silent and turned to watch the sorting without a further word.

A pretty, red-haired girl, Lily Evans, shortly joined them at the Gryffindor table. Helen held her breath as Remus put on the hat. She did not have to wait too long, however. He had barely placed it on his head before it shouted: Gryffindor!' Helen cheered and clapped as he sat opposite her on the table, grinning broadly. A mousy boy named Peter Pettigrew followed suit, as did, to Helen's dismay, James Potter. Nonetheless, Helen enjoyed herself very much during the feast and found herself getting along very well with Lily who, like Helen, was also from a muggle background.

* * *

When Helen woke up, it took her a moment to register where she was and why. It seemed like a dream; she was finally at Hogwarts and today was her first day! She felt a nervous squirm in her stomach but was excited, nonetheless, as she got ready.

'Morning,' yawned Mary from behind Helen in the bathroom, looking very sleepy.

'Good morning,' Helen smiled, taking the moisturising cream out of Mary's hand, which she was about to apply to her toothbrush, and replacing it with toothpaste.

'Thanks,' mumbled Mary, eyes half-closed.

Helen was again shocked at the sheer size of the Great Hall when they entered it for breakfast. Now, that it was light, it looked even bigger than before. She sat down at the Gryffindor table, chattering with Remus whom she had met in the common room, and surveyed the options for breakfast available to her. She felt slightly sick at the sight of the greasy sausages, bacon and eggs. She saw a small bowl of fruit salad and ladled some onto her plate, along with a scoop of yoghurt. She ate, laughing with Remus and Lily as they swapped stories and experiences.

'Are you on a diet?' Helen heard someone ask her from behind.

She turned to see James, next to her, frowning at her breakfast.

'Excuse me?' she asked, incredulous that he had the cheek to talk to her.

'I said; are you on a diet? What kind of breakfast is that?' he repeated, oblivious to the fact that Helen was still mad at him.

'No, I am not on a diet. This is what is called a healthy breakfast as opposed to the artery-clogging, recipe for a heart attack of a breakfast which you are eating… Oh, and while I'm talking to you, could you please pass me the green tea?' Helen snapped.

'Green tea? What's that?' James asked, looking at Helen as though she were mad.

'Over there, next to the pumpkin juice,' Helen said, pointing.

'Here you go,' he said, handing it to her and looking at it suspiciously.

'It's also very healthy,' Helen said. 'You should try it sometime,' she added.

'No thanks. I'm right with the normal kind of tea. So… do all people from Australia eat rabbit food?' he persisted.

'What?' Helen asked, still not quite sure why they were even talking.

'Do all people eat like… you are now… so… _healthy_.' James said, shuddering.

'No. They eat the same kinds of foods as you English eat. I, personally, cannot eat such heavy things for breakfast and, at any rate, like to have a healthy start to the day. I think better that way,' Helen said.

James did not look too convinced, still shooting furtive glances at the tea which Helen sipped.

'You should at least eat a bit more,' he said, suddenly.

'Why?' Helen asked suspiciously.

'Trust me, you'll be starving. No one can survive until lunch on that,' James said, motioning to Helen's plate with a frown.

'Why should I trust you? So far, I have every reason not to trust you,' Helen said tartly.

James opened his mouth but then grinned sheepishly.

'Okay, I'm sorry about yesterday. It was just a joke, honestly…'

'Personally, I don't find a joke which would mean my missing the chance to go to Hogwarts too funny,' Helen said, acidly.

'I was going to come and get you before the train left,' James said, earnestly.

Helen snorted.

'Yeah… and ruin the joke?'

'Okay. I'm sorry. Don't take it personally, though,' James added.

'I was concerned, and you tell me not to take it personally?' Helen asked, incredulously.

'I didn't know you, Sirius and I were looking for someone to play a prank on and you just happened to be there… so, no, you shouldn't take it personally because we didn't know you then,' James said fairly.

Helen gave James a shrewd look, but shrugged.

'I'll forgive you now, but I'm warning you… if anything of that sort happens again… let's just say, I'm not so nice when crossed,' Helen said, laughing.

James smiled.

'Sounds fair enough to me… now can you eat something? I feel weird just sitting next to you eating that stuff.'

Helen rolled her eyes, but took a piece of toast all the same.

* * *

'What class do we have first?' James asked, peering over Helen's shoulder at her timetable.

'Charms,' Helen replied, feeling very nervous.

'Excellent,' James replied happily.

'How much should we know?' Helen blurted out, before she could stop herself.

'What do you mean?' James replied, looking at her strangely.

'How much should we have learnt by now? I mean, I went through the books and managed to transfigure a pin cushion into a snuff box and I can do cheering charms and bat-bogey hexes and disarming charms, but… I tried to do a patronus and it just went all wispy and didn't turn out how the book said it was meant to,' Helen babbled, desperately.

'Patronuses?' Anika, from across the table, said sharply.

'Y…yes,' Helen stammered.

'Us sixth years haven't even started learning patronuses yet!' she said, looking at Helen with a little awe.

'I… I haven't even used my wand yet!' James said, hoarsely, 'and you can do all that stuff already?'

'Oh… um…' Helen stammered, blushing.

'Don't worry, you're not meant to know anything yet,' Anika reassured him, smiling as she recalled her own uneasiness in her first year.

'Phew,' James said, sighing in relief. 'Have you done any magic yet?' he asked Sirius who was sitting next to him, talking to Peter.

'Nope,' Sirius said coolly.

'And you, Peter?' James asked.

'Me? No, of course not!' Peter stammered.

'Well, Helen, it seems like you're the only one who knows anything!' James said happily.

'That's not true,' Helen said, fairly, 'Lily and Remus have started learning stuff.'

James' gaze snapped to Lily and he stared at her, his mouth open.

Helen cleared her throat, amused.

'What?' James asked, disconcerted at his sudden descent to reality.

'I don't want people to think I'm a nerd. Imagine that! Being a know-it-all before you even start!' Sirius drawled.

Helen felt herself flush with annoyance at this comment which she knew was directed at her.

During that breakfast, if one thing was established, it was this: Helen Asteria and Sirius Black did not get along.

* * *

'Now, class,' chimed Professor Flitwick, the tiny charms Professor, after having given them a briefing on levitating charms, 'to work! Two per feather.'

Helen paired with Lily. Lily was first to attempt to levitate the feather, Helen feeling rather reluctant to do anything after Sirius' comment at breakfast. She looked around her and noticed that no one could levitate their feather and recalled how she was able to on her first attempt back home. She wondered why they found it so difficult.

'It's no use,' Lily said, mournfully, having succeeded only in turning the feather to another side, but not raising it. 'You try,' she said, pushing the feather towards Helen.

Helen sighed and was about to say the incantation when she smelt smoke and heard shouting from behind her.

'Look at what you've done, Sirius!' James shouted, trying to pat the flame out of the burning feather, only to withdraw his hands and suck on them in pain.

'Professor!' called Lily desperately, trying to find Professor Flitwick, as the fire spread to Sirius' charms book.

Helen made the decision in a split second.

'Aguamenti,' she said, pointing her wand at the desk, a stream of water pouring out of her wand, extinguishing the fire immediately.

'Wow,' James said, looking at Helen both thankfully and in awe.

Sirius, on the other hand, looked at her coldly.

'I didn't ask for you to show off,' he snapped.

Helen felt a sudden urge to slap him.

'Fine,' she said, coolly, muttering an incantation, lighting the desk on fire again. 'Deal with it yourself then,' she added, turning around her attention to her feather which she caused to soar to the ceiling immediately.

* * *

If Helen thought she might never get along with Sirius during charms, she was absolutely certain by the end of the day that if there was one person in the world whom she hated, it was him.

During lunch, Sirius had talked very loudly to the other boys in their house about a very annoying and nosy girl who they should ignore. He became very annoyed, however, when one of the boys remarked that she was the best looking girl he had ever seen. Then, during transfiguration, he threw a dung bomb under Helen's chair. Helen, however, had heard this, so she drew out her wand and caused it to roll out to the front of the classroom, under Professor McGonagall's desk. When it exploded, causing an unbearable stench, Professor McGonagall became livid, looking at the shell which, on it, had carved the inscription: 'with love, SB.'

'SIRIUS BLACK!' she barked, giving him a very length lecture, docking off twenty house points and a detention.

Helen smiled, slightly during this, knowing that she had, again, beaten him.

* * *

'So, you think you're so clever?' Sirius drawled, leaning against the corridor wall, causing Helen to jump out of shock as she walked passed him and hadn't noticed him.

Helen glared at him, arms crossed and lips pursed.

'You don't want to get on my black list,' Sirius continued, a malicious glint in his eye.

'Really? What can I say? I'm just _trembling_ from fear,' Helen said sarcastically, turning to walk away.

Sirius grabbed her arm. Helen felt her breath quicken; despite her words, she actually was frightened, even though she didn't show it. She looked him defiantly in the eye.

'Can I help you, Black?' she asked coldly.

Sirius stared into her hazel eyes and felt shocked as he realised that she actually was very pretty… prettier than any other girl he had ever seen.

'Er…' he faltered.

Helen wrenched her arm from his now slack grip and stormed off.

**And there's my first chapter. Now, before you scroll back to the top and move onto chapter 2, why don't you take a few seconds, that's all it takes, to leave a lovely (or constructively critical) review? **

**Love Anya**


	10. Original Ch 2

**_'"Hate is often an obverse form of love.  
You hate someone whom you really wish to love but whom you cannot love." _**

**_Sri Chinmoy

* * *

_**

Fights and Flights

'Helen! Wake up! It's flying classes today!' said Lily happily, bouncing on the end of Helen's bed.

Helen groaned and looked at her watch.

'Urgh, Lily. It's 7am. Breakfast is in an hour and flying classes at 8.30!'

'But I can't sleep! I'm so excited…'

'Lily,' said Helen testily, 'just because you can't sleep, it doesn't mean others can't either…'

'But aren't you excited?'

'Of making a fool of myself in front of Black and the rest of the school? I don't think so.' Helen snapped.

Lily gave a frustrated sigh and bounded out of the dormitory happily.

Helen, however, could not sleep now that Lily had woken her. She wanted to fly, and desperately wanted to be good at it. Nonetheless, she could not but help feeling extremely nervous about her 'first time.'

* * *

At the Gryffindor breakfast table, James was bragging loudly about his flying skills and giving tips to any first years who would listen. Helen merely sat there, staring glumly at her untouched bowl of porridge and hoping that she might at least not stand out as an atrocious flyer from the rest of the class.

'Good Morning, class. Today is your first flying lesson. I want each of you to stand next to a broom,' said Madam Hooch.

Helen stood in between Lily and Remus. She looked at her broom which looked very old and could not help but feel a sense of amazement, no doubt due to her muggle upbringing, that it would soon be holding her above the ground. She thought of how envious her sister would be of her and instantly, feeling grateful for the opportunity she was given by coming to Hogwarts, felt a newfound confidence in herself.

'Now! I want you all to hold out your hands over your brooms and say very clearly, 'Up!' like so,' she said, as her broom instantly sprung into her hand from the ground.

The rest of the class tried. Helen looked at her broom, smiled at it (for some reason, she felt as though it was a living object. If she showed it respect, she felt she would receive it). She said, clearly, 'Up!' (and added 'please' in a lower voice). On her 'please' the broom sprung instantly into her hand, giving Helen a huge rush of affection for her broomstick.

'Well Done Miss Asteria! Well Done Mr Potter! Not too bad, Mr Black, but it should come to your hand, not fall back down.' said Madam Hooch as she inspected the progress of the class. Helen was surprised to see that James, herself and one Ravenclaw boy were the only ones to whom their brooms sprung up. Lily's broom merely rolled over on the ground, despite her growingly frustrated commands, and Remus' shuddered, but also stayed on the ground. Everyone laughed as Peter's broom scooted away from him and flew over the Forbidden Forest.

'Now, those whose brooms stayed on the ground, please pick them up. On the count to three, I want you all to mount your brooms like this,' she demonstrated,' and kick firmly off the ground. I do not want anyone flying any higher than this tree,' she said sternly, indicating a some-ten metre tree on the forbidden forest's border.

'One.'

Helen held her breath in anticipation

'Two.'

She felt her broom give an irresistible shudder and she too, had a desperate urge to fly.

'Three!'

Helen kicked off the ground and soared into the air, the wind rushing through her long hair. It was a feeling which she had never felt before. It was pure ecstasy. She kept on flying higher until she realised she was close to the tree and then flew closer to where everyone else was. James was doing loops in the air. He wasn't lying. He was a brilliant flyer. The rest of their class looked rather uneasy on their broomsticks; their knuckles white, as though they were going to fall off any instant. Helen chanced a look at Sirius who, admittedly, was been flying better than most. He was staring at her, mouth gaping. He flew over to her.

'How come you fly so well? I thought you were from a muggle family?' he asked, a hint of resentment in his voice.

'I am,' Helen said, curtly, flying in the opposite direction. She wasn't sure what practical joke he might be practising on her and she especially didn't want to be on the receiving end of one when she was high above the ground.

* * *

Helen, personally, could not have been happier with how the flying classes turned out. She didn't know how, but flying came naturally to her. Even Madam Hooch could not believe that it was Helen's first attempt at flying, giving her an encouraging pat on the shoulder. Lily on the other hand, for all of her excitement in the morning, was crestfallen.

'I was terrible- I couldn't fly a metre off the ground!' Lily cried after class.

'Oh, come on. Not many other people were that great either,' Helen said encouragingly.

'You were,' Lily said resentfully.

'Not really…' Helen said.

'Don't lie. You were. Everyone said so,' Lily snapped. She was in a bad mood.

'Okay, so I was not bad. Big deal! Hey, you know, if it's really troubling you, James seemed to be really good… perhaps you could ask him for private lessons?' Helen grinned, winking at Lily.

Lily glared at Helen who didn't pursue her point.

* * *

Of all the boys in Gryffindor, Helen liked Remus the best and, not surprisingly, Black the worst. She felt annoyed whenever she saw Peter, merely because she was impatient with his utter stupidity. James she liked from a distance. She found him funny and mischievous, without being too mean, but they kept each other at arms length. This, of course, was partially to do with James having Sirius as a best friend.

One day, Helen and Remus were studying together in the library, as they usually did in their spare time. Engrossed in her work, Helen did not notice anything until she felt something oozing down the skin of her back. She stood up suddenly.

'Remus! What is it? What's down my back?' she asked frantically.

'How did that get there?' Remus asked, puzzled, reaching down her the back of her shirt and pulling out a slug.

Helen looked at it, horrified. She then turned around suddenly, as she heard Sirius Black whistling at Remus.

'Nice going, Rem. Already down her shirt! Imagine, it won't be too long before you're down her pa…ARGH!'

Helen, livid at his comment, for making Remus stick his hand down her shirt, and for the whole prank altogether, shot a strong, thick stream of water into his big mouth which was bragging and smirking at her.

He gagged, trying to cover himself from the water which Helen still kept flowing.

'WATER? DUELLING IN MY LIBRARY? GET OUT! DETENTION!' Madam Pince screamed, grabbing both Helen and Sirius from the scruff of their necks and throwing them out of the library where they fell on the floor.

Sirius spluttered, still trying to breathe properly. Helen smiled grimly, but started to worry when he started turning red and couldn't breathe. As much as she would have liked for him to die…

'Can't…breathe…' Sirius choked.

Remus hurried out of the library to find Helen pumping Sirius' chest.

'Come on you stupid idiot. It's only water.' Helen snapped.

He still could not breathe.

'What did you do to him?' Remus asked in horror as Sirius still could not breathe.

Helen sighed exasperatedly and pinched Sirius' nose before turning to Remus.

'Do mouth to mouth,' she ordered.

Remus withdrew horrified.

'You're his friend!' Helen said, annoyed now as Sirius started turning blue.

'You did this to him!' Remus retorted.

Helen let out a vehement exclamation, screwed up her nose in distaste and leaned forward. Just as she was about to clamp her mouth on Sirius, he coughed, spraying Helen's face with water.

Helen screamed and rubbed her face vigorously with her robes. She had his spit on her face. Gross.

Sirius sat up, breathing heavily.

'What the hell is your problem?' he shouted at her.

Helen's face emerged from her robes, red from where she had rubbed it so much.

'My problem?' she screamed back. 'You're the one who put a slug down my back!'

'I didn't try to bloody drown you… or kiss you. Ew,' Sirius retorted.

'I did not try to kiss you, you idiot. I tried to save your worthless life,' Helen snapped back.

'It wouldn't have needed saving if you hadn't tried to drown me,' Sirius said hotly.

'It's not my fault you can't take a little water,' Helen said, getting up.

'A little water? A LITTLE WATER?'

'Shut up, Black.' Helen snapped, walking away.

'Don't you tell me to shut up. You just tried to murder me. I could get you sent to Azkaban for that,' Sirius said, smiling at the thought of never having to have to see Helen again. She annoyed him too much. She was far too smart for her own good. Girls shouldn't be that smart, he thought. It makes them dangerous.

A look of shock flitted across Helen's eyes, but then she rounded on him, wand in hand.

'In that case, I'll just kill you now. I might as well kill you if I'm going to be locked up for trying,' Helen said threateningly.

Sirius' eyes snapped to Helen's wand and he instinctively took a step back. He wasn't sure if she was being serious or not.

Remus quickly interjected.

'No one's going to Azkaban. Put your wand away, Helen,' he said pushing her arm down.

Sirius smirked as Helen shrugged and put it down.

'Lucky for you. I wouldn't want to have to hex you,' Sirius drawled.

'Thirsty, Black?' Helen snapped coldly, raising her wand.

'Er… not really. I just remembered I have to… James… see you!' Sirius said, running away as quickly as he could.

Helen gave a cold, satisfied smile. Life could be sweet, sometimes.

* * *

**Okay, in retrospect, I don't like that Helen was good at quidditch as well. I don't think it's the sort of thing that being a descendant of Circe would have helped with. So, as hard as it is to delete parts of a story, I'm taking out the quidditch parts. It's for the best, I think.**


	11. Original Ch 5

Okay, so I really don't like this chapter in retrospect. I'm sure I had fun writing it, but all the characters seem so out of character and the whole thing feels so contrived that I had no choice but to take it completely out of the Marauders' first year.... and put it here in the deleted scenes :)

'_**There is no safety-net to protect against attraction,'**_**Algernon Charles Swinburne**

* * *

Chapter 5- Mischief Managed.

It was the end of year feast. Slytherin had won the house cup, making everyone at the Gryffindor table feel quite sullen as they were taunted from across the Great Hall.

During the main course, it was starting to get on everyone's nerves; especially Lily, for some reason, who kept on muttering under her breath and shooting the table dirty looks. Helen also noticed Sirius tapping his nails insistently at the table as Bellatrix and his other cousins kept on taunting him.

'THAT'S IT!' Sirius shouted, standing up and flinging a huge spoonful of mashed potato at them. It hit Bellatrix squarely in the chest. She looked down at it, temporarily stunned, as did everyone, until she screamed.

And then it was war.

Lily, who had been on edge throughout the feast, followed Sirius' example and threw anything she could get her hands on at the Slytherin table. Sirius stopped, as did James and everyone else, stunned at her out-of-character behaviour. The next thing which they saw surprised them even more. Remus got up and started shouting words Helen didn't even know existed at the Slytherin table, also throwing food.

James and Helen then stood up and joined in. Soon, food was flying in all directions. They were all covered in food, but did not care. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw had also joined in; also annoyed at Slytherin and their behaviour.

Everyone ignored the teachers' cries to stop. The whole student body was at war and nothing was going to stop it. It was ironic, Helen thought, that no one thought to use magic, but stopped wondering this and screamed when she felt herself become drenched with pumpkin juice. She looked up and saw that Sirius had done this, accidentally, as he turned around to block a chicken drumstick which had been thrown at him.

'BLACK!' she shouted, throwing her goblet of pumpkin juice back in his face.

Sirius turned around and blinked, surprised. He obviously hadn't realised he had even spilt pumpkin juice on her.

'What are you doing? We're on the same side!' he shouted, incredulous that she had turned against him at a time like this.

'Like hell we are. You threw the pumpkin juice at me on purpose,' Helen retorted, glaring at him.

'What?...Did not.'

'Did too.'

'Did… watch your step,' Sirius said, stopping Helen from falling and pulling her up as she nearly slipped on the ground which was covered in food.

Helen could not suppress a grin at this and Sirius also gave back a small smile.

This friendly 'moment,' however, was interrupted as Sirius was hit in the back of the head with a goblet. His eyes looked dazed for a moment before he keeled over onto Helen who struggled to hold him up.

She looked around angrily for who had done that; it was such a cowardly thing to do. Everyone was throwing food, not anything that could actually harm. She spotted him advancing across the Gryffindor table. A big, beefy, and very menacing looking Slytherin. She felt livid at him… so much so that she lit his robes on fire just by glaring at him.

His expression changed instantly to one of shock as he turned his course, running out of the Great Hall, yelping.

Helen still had a knocked-out Sirius to hold up. She couldn't locate anyone in the blur of the food. She thought she heard Lily shouting, but could not find her. Helen had to get him out of the Great Hall, though; she had, to her shock, found blood on her hands after trying to position Sirius' head.

Helen heaved Sirius and dragged him as quickly as she could into the Entrance Hall where she placed him down on the ground.

'Sirius!' she shouted, slapping him.

No reaction.

She looked to see how badly he was bleeding and saw it was not too bad- just a little.

She took out her handkerchief and tried to staunch the blood, whilst prodding him and trying to bring him back to a state of consciousness. Suddenly, she had an idea.

Helen whipped out her wand and shot a stream of water onto his foot-spattered face. She sighed in relief as his eyes suddenly flew open and he looked at Helen strangely.

'Am I dreaming?' he asked croakily, from where his head was rested on her knees.

'No,' Helen replied, a slight smile playing on her lips.

'Why are you here then?' he continued, dazed.

He obviously had no idea what he was saying.

'You got knocked out. Do you think you can walk? I think you should go to the hospital wing,' Helen said.

Sirius closed his eyes drowsily.

'Oh no you don't… Come on!'

Sirius opened his eyes a little more, but started to shut them again. Helen heaved him up and he stood up, leaning on her.

'Up you get soldier. Come on… let's go…' she said, wondering why she didn't just ignore the pumpkin juice he threw at her. She did have a wonderful knack for making her life as difficult as were complications, however, in getting to the Hospital Wing. As soon as Helen had lead Sirius to the steps in the Entrance Hall, the Slytherin whom she had lit on fire returned. He spotted Helen instantly and made his way to her menacingly.

Helen tried to get her wand, but it was hard to do so with Sirius leaning on her.

She felt hands enclose around her neck and she shouted as she fell back, letting go of Sirius, hitting her head on the stairs, and sliding into a black pool of nothing.

* * *

Sirius groaned as he got up from his fall. He shook his head, realising where he was, and turned to see Crowley, a sixth year Slytherin on the stairs… whose hair was that?

Sirius suddenly felt sick as he registered that Helen was underneath Crowley whose hands were around her neck; slowly strangling the life from her already limp frame. Sirius stood up unsteadily. He did not care that he was only twelve and that Crowley was seventeen. He sent a full body bind curse, causing Crowley's arms to snap to his sides. Sirius used all his strength to heave the brute off Helen who looked lifeless. He checked desperately for a pulse, but found none.

'Come on!' he said, now the one to slap her face in a desperate bid to wake her. Her head lolled to the other side.

'No. You can't die. Not like this. You're a smart-arse, remember? You can't do this now. Stop being so annoying Asteria! Wake up!' he said, slapping her harder with no response.

'Okay, I don't hate you. I really don't… I will even be nice to you from now on if you just bloody wake up. Oh my God this is my entire fault… I started the food fight… GET UP! WAKE UP, YOU HEAR ME?' he shouted frantically.

But Sirius himself was dizzy from his concussion. As he tried, more desperately, to wake Helen up, he felt himself become more and more faint until, finally, he fainted on top of her.

* * *

Sirius' eyes flew open. He saw a white ceiling… where was he? He turned to see James sitting next to him, face white, food covering his clothes and hair.

Suddenly it all came back to Sirius. He sat up suddenly.

'Where is she?' he demanded, heart beating wildly, searching James' face for an answer.

'_She_ has a name,' he heard Helen say shrewdly from the curtain next to his bed.

Sirius felt relief sweep through his body as he sprung out of bed and tore open the hangings. He felt he needed to make sure.

He saw her, sitting up in bed looking paler than normal with bruise marks around her neck but, otherwise, fine. She even had her usual attitude back as she looked at him with that same her calculating expression of hers.

He could not suppress his huge smile. She was okay after all.

'What a reaction! I would have expected you to be disappointed that I survived,' Helen said sarcastically.

Sirius' face fell as he recalled how she almost died.

'Okay, that's taking it a bit far… I wouldn't want you dead either,' Helen admitted, sitting back, resting her heavy head against her pillow and closing her eyes. She was still in pain.

Sirius stared at her for a little longer before hurrying back to his own bed upon Madam Pomfrey's shrieks that he was out of bed.

* * *

That night Helen lay in bed listening to the rain's gentle patter on the window. She heard Sirius sleeping in the bed next to her and realised that he had actually saved her life. She admitted that her life probably wouldn't have required saving had he she not tried to revive him, but, even then; he had helped her when she slipped. She got out of bed quietly and slipped through his hangings. He was lying, still bruised from his fall, sleeping peacefully. Helen watched his chest which was rising and falling and then his face which looked different now. She had always seen it with a smirk or an angry expression. Now… he looked almost sad as he nestled into his pillow. Helen began to wonder about his family which James had warned her against asking Sirius about and whether his act at school was real. He looked so different now that Helen wondered if it was a faç sat gingerly in the chair next to his bed and observed him for a while longer. It was only when she began to feel her own eyes drooping that she got up, exhausted from the somewhat sensational day, and slumped back into her own bed, allowing the sound of the rain to serenade her to sleep.

Helen awoke the next day to find Sirius already gone. She felt a little disappointed at this, for some reason, but then wondered why on earth he would wait for her anyway. They had helped each other out for the oldest of reasons; 'if your enemy is my enemy, than you are my friend.' Now that the ordeal was over, however, they would revert back to their old ways. Simple as that.

* * *

**Hmmm. I'm wondering now. Just wondering... if Helen and Sirius are becoming a little friendlier to each other? Will it continue in their second year? Perhaps they're just understanding each other that little bit more. Hmmm.**

**Reviewers will hold a most special place in my heart! (especially if they want me to write the next chapter. As of yet it's not finished, and, therefore, I would be open to suggestions too...) Many Hugs and Kisses to those who reviewed my last chapter. ****Keep it up.**

**Lots of love to you all, Anya.**


	12. Original Ch 6

'_**If I love you, what business is it of yours?' Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

* * *

**_

Midnight Snack

As Helen made her way, exhausted, from the library to the Common Room, her stomach began to rumble impatiently. She was shocked to realise that she had studied through dinner and that the last time she had eaten was during lunch. Having made this realisation, her stomach began to churn more insistently. She stopped in her tracks and considered her options.

She could stop by the kitchens and grab something to eat. This was quite an appealing option to Helen at present. The cons of this plan, however, included that it was already ten minutes past curfew and going down to the kitchens would set her back even more. Not to mention that she reckoned it was against school rules to sneak into the kitchens anyway. How much trouble would she be in if she was caught? She knew that, as ever, Filch was on the prowl and if that he didn't catch her, Mrs Norris would. At the thought of Mrs Norris, Helen reminded herself to set her own cat, Malkin, around the castle. Malkin was strong and could probably finish off the other darned cat for good…

Helen's stomach gave another growl and her train of thought was returned, once again, to her dilemma.

If she didn't go the kitchens, she wouldn't get into trouble. She wouldn't be breaking any school rules and would be guaranteed to see her day of classes tomorrow.

Another growl.

The con of this plan was that Helen would have to wait… eight hours! Eight hours until she could eat? Even James' grease-laden breakfast was appealing to her at present. Helen started thinking of how, if she returned, she would have lie in bed, her stomach insistently reminding her of her hunger and preventing her from sleeping… She knew she couldn't make a rational decision being hungry, but didn't care. She had made up her mind.

Helen made her way stealthily across the corridors until she finally found the portrait with the fruit which she had so often heard James talk about. Checking that nobody else was present, she reached up and tentatively tickled the pear. The portrait swung open and Helen entered the kitchen quickly.

It was eerily quiet when Helen entered. She looked around and was shocked to see… they must have been house elves… lying in small cots in a room next to the kitchen. There were at least a hundred of them. Helen suddenly felt very guilty for coming into the kitchens and made her way to leave when one of them sat up and saw her suddenly.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I'll leave now,' Helen whispered, turning around quickly.

'Mistress must not say she is sorry! If mistress is hungry, she must eat!' the house elf squeaked, getting out of her cot quickly and going to the kitchen.

'No, please. Don't get up. Stop. Please. Go back to sleep,' Helen stammered, extremely ashamed and embarrassed.

'Mistress is not hungry?' the house elf asked, pausing and looking at Helen in disbelief.

'Er… can I just find something myself? Please go back to sleep. I won't take anything unless you do,' Helen said, figuring out how the elf's mind was working.

The house elf swayed, not sure what to do.

'Please?' Helen asked, gently.

The house elf nodded and went quickly back to bed, having taken that as an order from Helen. Helen sighed and walked quietly to the kitchen. She found a basket with fresh rolls and took one, along with some cheese and a glass of milk. She sat at the bench, eating quietly as her stomach began to feel relieved of its aching.

* * *

The portrait door swung open and Helen heard footsteps, but saw no one. She sat up straight, ears pricked and eyes pealed. Then, she saw the strangest thing; someone suddenly emerge as though they were pulling off a cloak of invisibility. Helen's heart gave an unpleasant lurch as she registered who that someone was. He walked towards the kitchen, not seeing her. She cleared her throat and he turned around, startled.

'Asteria? What are _you_ doing here?' Sirius asked, forgetting to put animosity in his tone from his shock.

'Could ask you the same thing,' Helen retorted.

'I'm hungry,' Sirius shrugged, bending over the fridge and taking out an éclair.

'Well I forgot dinner,' Helen shrugged.

Sirius sat at the table opposite her with his plate and glass of milk.

'You forgot dinner?' he asked incredulously.

'It happens when you study,' Helen said.

Sirius looked at her as though she were mad. Helen really couldn't care less.

They continued to eat in an uncomfortable silence.

'How did you know where the kitchens were?' Sirius asked after a while.

Helen snorted.

'You and James don't really keep its whereabouts a secret,' she said sarcastically.

Sirius rolled his eyes at this tone. Honestly, he was being quite civil at present and she still wouldn't be nice. Not that she had much reason to… he _had_, after all, dropped a lacewing in her potion that day. Unfortunately, it didn't ruin because she had figured out a way to counter it. Her temper, however, was most definitely ruined beyond repair as he tried his best to block her hexes.

More silence. They were having the time of their lives.

'So… you come down here often?' Helen asked in a strained voice.

'Not really. Usually with James or one of the others, but they wanted to sleep tonight,' Sirius said, with some resentment in his voice.

'Oh.'

'You?'

'First time,' Helen answered truthfully.

An evil grin flitted across Sirius' face.

'You just lost your kitchen virginity with me,' he laughed.

Helen glared at him, shocked at the rudeness. How dare he make such sexual comments? They were only 13!

'Well, _Sirius_, it will be the only kind of virginity I will be losing with you. Soak it up while you can,' Helen replied sarcastically.

'What a pity. I always thought you'd be an easy lay,' he continued in a mocking voice.

Helen knew what he was doing and she would not give him the satisfaction of seeing it work.

'Oh, how wrong you were. I intend on becoming a nun,' she added.

Sirius screwed up his nose.

'So you can screw the priests?' he said in disgust.

Helen rolled her eyes.

'No, so I don't have to… _screw_, you call it?... anyone like you.'

'So you would become a nun because of me?'

Helen's nerves were becoming very short. She ignored him and drank the rest of her milk. She was finished now and could leave the rude, vile and immensely annoying creature in front of her. Spending her night with Sirius Black was definitely not something she intended on making a habit.

'I'm going now,' she said, standing up.

'Really?' Sirius said, obviously not caring.

'Yes.' Helen said shortly.

'How?' he asked in his maddening tone.

Helen rolled her eyes.

'I am going to use my legs and walk out of the portrait. Then I am going to continue to use them so they can take me to the Gryffindor common room,' Helen said in a baby-voice.

Sirius rolled his eyes now.

'Fine; I might then take this opportunity to say that it has been a… I would say pleasure, but that would be lying. It has been an _experience_, let us say, knowing you. Good luck with your future,' he added, before turning back to his éclair.

'What?' Helen asked, incredulously. He really was mad.

'You'll get caught. Then you'll get expelled. Honestly, some people have no idea,' he said to himself.

Helen had had enough.

'Goodbye,' she said, rather viciously, before turning on her heel and walking out of the portrait.

* * *

Sirius, however much Helen hated to admit it, was right. She had not walked ten metres before she heard Filch approaching. She didn't know what else to do; she ran, as quickly as she could, back to kitchens. She practically scratched the pear off the portrait; she was tickling it so desperately.

She leaned against the wall, panting.

Sirius looked up at her and smirked.

'Shut up, Black,' Helen snapped, going to the table and sitting miserably.

'I did warn…'

'And I said shut up,' she snapped.

Sirius was clever enough to comply. He got up and looked at Helen who ignored him. She was very incensed that he had just won a point.

'Am I allowed to speak?' he asked. Helen could hear the amusement in his voice.

'No,' Helen said sullenly, picking a grape and eating it as moodily as one can eat a grape.

'Well, if I _was_ allowed to speak, I would offer you a way to get back to the Gryffindor common room…' Sirius said, evidently enjoying this.

'I'm not stupid. I know you would make me eat owl droppings or something and tell me that I was invisible,' Helen snapped, picking another grape aggressively, causing a few others to fall off the vine.

Sirius paused to consider her statement.

'That's a good idea…. I could try it on a few first years…' he pondered.

Helen snorted. 'Typical,' she muttered.

Sirius surveyed her for a moment.

'Even though your suggestion is a good one, and I wish I had thought of it myself-cheers- I was actually going to offer that we share James' invisibility cloak,' Sirius said, eyeing her for her reaction.

Helen choked on her grape.

'Invisibility cloak?' she gaped. 'That's why…' comprehension dawned upon her features which were illuminated by the little oil lamp on the table.

'I'm going now. Take it or leave it,' Sirius said, waiting for what he knew would be an internal struggle in Helen.

Helen pursed her lips and sighed. She would have to lose another point. It was worth it. After all, she had to be at Hogwarts to get back at Sirius. It wouldn't work if she were expelled.

'Fine,' Helen said, getting up and walking over to him.

Sirius blinked, a little surprised that she had accepted so readily.

He took the cloak out and watched as Helen's hazel eyes widen in awe of it.

'It's beautiful,' she breathed, forgetting that he was there.

Sirius cleared his throat, fighting to keep a straight face, and threw the cloak over them.

'You have to be really quiet, though,' he whispered as they exited the portrait.

They walked, uninterrupted by anyone until they reached the stairs where Mrs Norris stopped in her tracks and stared at them with her lamp-like yellow eyes.

'Can she see us?' Helen asked uncertainly as they paused.

Sirius frowned.

'I don't know,' he said truthfully.

It happened suddenly. Mrs Norris sprung out at them, landing on Sirius who let out a shout in surprise as he tried to prize the cat, which was clawing madly, off him. Helen, in turn, lost her balance and ended up sinking into the vanishing step, the invisibility cloak flying off them and landing at the bottom of the steps.

They heard Filch approaching, shouting 'Who's there?' He was close.

Sirius, finally, threw Mrs Norris off him. She looked at them reproachfully, giving an angry hiss, before bounding off in Filch's direction. Sirius looked around for Helen.

'Can you help me, Black?' Helen whispered urgently, sinking even further into the step.

'I've got them now!' they hear Filch giggle with glee.

Sirius grabbed Helen's arm and pulled with all his might.

'Hurry,' Helen whispered; her voice full of dread.

'I'm trying,' Sirius said through gritted teeth.

'HA!' they heard Filch say from the bottom of the steps, seeing them struggle desperately, but not seeing the invisibility cloak in his jubilation at having caught two students.

'Thought you would have a date did you? What was it? The broom cupboard?' He shouted triumphantly, limping slowly up the steps.

Sirius forgot to pull Helen in shock.

'SIRIUS!' Helen implored him.

Sirius snapped back to reality and gave one last heave, pulling Helen out, finally.

'Oh shit. We've got it now,' he said, staring pathetically at Filch who was metres away.

'Are you kidding?' Helen said incredulously, grabbing his arm and running up the stairs.

'_Accio cloak_,' she said, pointing her wand over her shoulder as she dragged Sirius up the stairs.

The cloak soared through the air, past Filch, to Helen. She caught it and threw it over her and Sirius.

Sirius looked at her with admiration for the first time in his life. He had never liked Helen as much as he did then.

'STUDENTS OUT OF BED! STUDENTS OUT OF BED!' screeched Filch at the top of his lungs.

Sirius held out an arm to stop Helen who was about to walk straight into the door to Professor McGonagall's office which had just opened. They stood against the wall, very quietly, as she strode out of her office, in tartan, to see what the commotion was all about.

Once she was out of earshot, they kept on running until they found themselves face to face, again, with Mrs Norris. She hissed and sprung out at them, missing Helen narrowly as Sirius pulled her into a broom cupboard; that seemed to have been an accustomed reflex of his.

There was no room. This must have been the least spacious broom cupboard in all of Hogwarts. They were panting and squashed against each other as they heard Mrs Norris' meowing and clawing at the door.

Sirius leaned his head against Helen momentarily.

'We need to get out,' Helen said, heart pounding in her chest at their closeness.

'I know,' Sirius said mournfully. 'But we can't until that damned cat goes away… she'll give us away.'

Helen sighed. This was definitely not how she intended her night to turn out. Not that the thrill wasn't exhilarating and all…

'Nice work back there. I was too shocked to think,' Sirius said honestly after a while.

'Yeah, many people would be. I think what brought me home was his comment about the broom cupboard,' Helen said, more to herself.

Sirius smirked.

'He was kind of right… just got his order mixed up.'

Helen's lip twitched. It was, ironically, quite funny.

She didn't even realise what had happened until it was over. Sirius leaned forward impulsively and kissed her on the lips. She stood there, like a stunned mullet, shocked. He separated quickly, as though he too had just realised what he had done.

'Sorry,' he said. Helen was not sure if he was genuine or not.

She said nothing. She was too shocked. That was her first kiss. With… ugh. Sirius Black. Okay, so not how she had planned her first kiss to go. She had actually planned to have been aware of what was going on and to enjoy it… she sighed. Life doesn't always go to plan, she thought. If it did, she wouldn't be stuck, squashed up against Sirius Black in a broom cupboard in the middle of a night.

Helen began to giggle a bit.

'Are you okay?' Sirius asked, not sure what was wrong with Helen. She was not the giggling type.

Helen sighed.

'I was just thinking… many other girls would actually _enjoy_ this,' she laughed.

'I'm sorry I'm so inadequate,' Sirius said, quite affronted.

'Oh well, it's not your fault, I guess,' Helen said airily.

Sirius shot her annoyed look. Their eyes were really very close. He could feel Helen's breath on his face. It was dark too.

Sirius went to say something, but Helen placed a hand on his mouth, surprising him.

'Sh,' she said softly, ears pricked.

A minute passed.

'You hear that?' Helen whispered.

'What?' Sirius asked, puzzled.

'Silence,' Helen said.

'Shall we go?' Sirius said, turning around to go.

Helen pulled him back quickly so that he really was flat against her. Moments later, the door burst open.

'AHA!' Filch shouted triumphantly.

Helen saw his lights shine upon them.

'Honestly, Argus, there's no one there. Please do not wake up the castle the next time you forget to take your potions,' McGonagall snapped, steering him, protesting, away from the broom cupboard.

Helen could feel her heart- or was it Sirius'? - pounding in her chest.

Slowly, he got off her. Helen thanked God that it was dark and he could not see her blushing. Sirius was thinking along the same lines himself. They waited a minute more, before leaving quietly, checking for any signs of Mrs Norris. This time, however, they found their way to the common room uninterrupted.

* * *

'Balderdash,' Helen muttered sleepily to the portrait. It did not swing open.

Helen looked up, in horror, to see that the Fat Lady was missing.

She exchanged a terrified look with Sirius.

'Well, that's just great!' Sirius said angrily, kicking the wall.

Helen felt on the verge of tears. She was so tired and wanted no more adventures… just her bed.

'I'm starving next time,' she thought grimly to herself as they stood, staring at the empty portrait.

'We could try finding her?' Sirius suggested.

'In the some many thousand portraits around the school?' Helen asked, her voice shaking dangerously, threatening tears.

Sirius sighed.

'Why?' he asked the empty portrait angrily. 'Open up!' he said, banging it with his fist.

It remained, as closed as ever.

'There are no other ways to get in?' Helen asked, hoping with all her might that he had been perverted enough to find a secret passageway to the girls' dormitories.

'No,' said Sirius sullenly.

'She could be hours away,' Helen said, tears falling down her cheeks.

Sirius shot a glance at her.

'We could just try finding a place to sleep for the night,' he suggested.

Helen nodded and wiped her eyes.

They walked around the castle aimlessly. Helen felt her eyes drooping.

'Here,' Sirius said, opening the door to a much more spacious and cleaner broom cupboard. Helen walked in, too tired to protest and sat on the floor straight away. She mumbled a spell at the door, locking it. Sirius smiled. It was amazing that she managed to still remember such details, even when she was half asleep.

'Nite,' Helen mumbled, curling up on the floor and lying on the makeshift pillow which she had made from her cloak.

'Goodnight,' Sirius said, observing Helen for a bit longer, before yawning and following her example by lying on his cloak.

* * *

Helen woke up feeling very stiff. She had to blink a few times to realise that she was lying on a very hard, stone floor with… what was that on her waist? She sat up suddenly and saw an arm which belonged to… Sirius Black?

Helen groaned as she remembered the night before… it had been almost 4 am by the time they had found this cupboard.

She looked at Sirius. She did not want to have to go through any awkward conversations with him when he woke up. She stood up and unlocked the door. She then thought it would be unfair on him… not that she really cared… to leave the door unlocked. Then she wondered if he would know how to unlock it. Tearing a piece of parchment off, he wrote:

_-'It's alohomora to unlock the door. Just in case you forgot._

She knew he would think she was a smart arse or similar for writing it, but she thought it would be better than him having to be locked in a broom cupboard all day. With that, she brushed herself off and left the cupboard, locking it behind her. It was only then that she realised that she had, last night: had a midnight snack with Sirius, had her first kiss with him, and spent the whole night (the first time she had ever done so with a male) with him.

Lucky bastard, she thought to herself, grinning slightly.

* * *

Sirius groaned and put a hand to his head which was throbbing with lack of sleep as he reached to pull his covers over him. He could not find them. Instead, he felt the touch of could stone. Sirius rubbed his eyes and sat up suddenly.

He looked around him, to see the broom cupboard and groaned as he remembered the night before. He needed his sleep and the few hours he had just salvaged were definitely not good enough. Especially as they were spent on a cold stone floor with… where was Asteria?

He looked around him, as though expecting her to be hiding, but then saw the parchment on the floor. He snorted. It was just typical of her to think that he wouldn't know how to unlock a door. Honestly, he did very well in school… just because she had decided to be abnormal and go extra well, it did not mean that he himself was not far superior the average intellect of students at Hogwarts as it was.

He shook his head, trying to dismiss the image of her face which had suddenly come up. She was annoying and he disliked her immensely. Last night they were simply forced to work together. Nothing else to it.

Sirius sighed and got up. He reached to his back pocket only to find his wand missing. After searching his other pockets, he felt his heart sink. He must have dropped it when he was trying to get rid of Mrs Norris. He tried to open the door, but Helen had locked it. He then tried to burst through it, but it wouldn't budge. He called out in frustration, trying to get someone's attention, but no one came.

Not a good start to his day at all.

* * *

**I didn't like the end parts to this with Helen locking Sirius in (it felt completely unrealistic for her to even do that) and I also didn't particularly like their original 'first kiss'... it felt too random and they both just ignored it too easily. **


	13. Original Ch 7

'_**Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defence.' **_**Mark Overby

* * *

**

Cat Fight

Helen returned wearily to the girls' dormitories. She needed a shower and clean robes.

As soon as she returned, she was bombarded by questions.

'HELEN! Where have you been? We were so worried! What happened to you?' Lily asked quickly.

Helen could not help but think that Lily was the only one who was actually concerned. The others merely looked up, disinterested.

'I got locked out,' Helen mumbled, going to the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. She was in no mood to explain herself at the moment.

* * *

When Helen reached the Great Hall for breakfast, she found James, Remus and Peter talking frantically.

'Has anyone seen Sirius?' Remus asked worriedly.

Helen could not help but grin. This did not go unnoticed by James.

'Why?' Lily asked suspiciously.

'He didn't return last night… why are you smiling, Helen? What did you do to him?' James asked, his tone turning quite aggressive.

Lily turned to Helen in surprise.

'You spent the night with Black?' she asked, aghast.

Everyone went silent.

'What?' James asked, very confused.

Helen ignored Lily's eyes.

'Helen… did you spend the night with Black? Why didn't you return last night?' Lily persisted.

'Okay. Fine. I did.' Helen snapped, grabbing a piece of toast and started buttering it so violently that she put many holes in the bread.

Everyone stared at her in disbelief.

Helen rolled her eyes.

'Oh get your minds out of the gutter. I hate him still. Hell hasn't frozen over yet. I went to the kitchens at night because I missed dinner and he showed up there too… _by complete coincidence._. He let me share your cloak, James, to get back because it was after curfew. Unfortunately, there were problems on the way…' Helen shrugged.

'What kind of problems?' Lily asked sharply.

Helen looked at James and Remus who were staring at her with their mouths wide open.

'Filch's bloody cat for one. Filch nearly got us… lucky for that broom cupboard…'

James sniggered and Helen rolled her eyes, but then blushed as she remembered the kiss.

'Why are you blushing?' Remus asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

Helen's temper was getting quite short.

'I am NOT blushing,' she said hotly.

'You snogged him, didn't you?' James laughed.

Helen glared at James in such a way that he shut up immediately.

'Sorry. Of course not. He's your mortal enemy,' James said quickly, wanting to hear the rest of the story.

Helen did not offer it, though.

'Well…' Remus encouraged.

Helen let out a vehement sigh.

'Do none of you not know how to mind your own business?'

'No,' James said simply.

Helen pursed her lips.

'Anyway, after Filch had gone…' Helen laughed as she recounted McGonagall's comments on Filch's medication.

James was clutching his side.

'She said that? Bahaha!... the stupid old fart…'

'Anyway, so what happened after that?' Remus asked, evidently still worried about Sirius' whereabouts.

Helen sighed.

'We left about five minutes later and came to the portrait of the fat lady but the stupid woman decided to leave,' Helen muttered resentfully.

'Er… it's a painting, Helen,' James pointed out.

'Thank you,' Helen snapped sarcastically.

'Just pointing out the obvious. So what happened then?' James said sweetly.

'We went to a broom cupboard and fell asleep,' Helen shrugged. 'End of story.'

They stared at her.

'What?' she asked, not understanding their problem.

'Broom cupboard?' Lily asked, arching an eyebrow.

'There was nowhere else to go. It was bloody four in the morning and I needed sleep,' Helen snapped, getting up.

'So where's Sirius now, then?' James piped up as she went to leave.

'Probably still sleeping there I expect,' Helen shrugged.

'You didn't wake him up?' Remus asked, reproachfully.

Helen smiled.

'Oh, he looked so peaceful and sweet, I couldn't bear myself to interrupt his blissful slumber,' she said in a mock-sweet voice, staring into the distance dreamily.

'Are you for real?' James asked, looking at Helen and wondering if Sirius had drugged her.

'No,' Helen said, snapping out of her façade.

'Well, he can't miss class!' Remus said indignantly. 'We've got a charms test next period!'

'I'm sure he'll be _so _sad to miss it,' Helen said sarcastically, walking off.

'You should wake him up,' Lily said reproachfully.

Helen stared at her friend and wondered why she cared so much about Sirius. Then she looked at everyone else at the table who nodded.

Helen rolled her eyes.

'Fine. I'll wake the stupid git up,' she snapped, turning on her heel and sweeping out of the Hall, very annoyed that she was designated the task of waking Sirius up. For all she knew, he would abuse her for waking him up. Why should she put up with that?

Helen arrived at the broom cupboard and her eyes widened in surprise as she heard banging on the door, like someone was trying to burst through it. She wondered if a boggart had made its way inside it and gulped. They had not yet learnt boggarts.

She cleared her throat and pointed her wand at the door, unlocking it. She screamed as something big flew out of it and knocked her to the floor. She hexed it, to try and get it off her.

'OUCH!' Sirius shouted, clutching his arm.

Helen stopped screaming and realised that it was Sirius who was on top of her.

'Oh, it's you. Sorry… kind of,' Helen said, her lip twitching.

Sirius got off her hurriedly with very mixed feelings towards her; she had set him free from the damned broom cupboard, but had also hexed him.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. He just wondered…

'Where's my wand?' he snapped at her.

'What?' Helen asked, wondering if he really was a boggart. That couldn't be right., though. Helen wasn't _scared_ of Sirius.

'Don't act dumb. I know you took it. Why else would you come back to unlock me?' he retorted maliciously.

Helen's features suddenly became contorted with rage. He had the cheek to accuse her, after she had just been forced to go wake him up?

'I don't have it. How dare you accuse me of stealing your wand? I don't sink to such levels… what's that?' she added, pointing to Sirius' wand which was caught in the hem of his robes.

Sirius looked down and blushed as he realised it was his wand.

'Oh… er….'

'Shut up Black,' Helen snapped, turning on her heel and stalking down the corridor.

Sirius stared after her, not sure whether he should go apologize.

He shook his head.

'What am I thinking? Apologise to Asteria? I really need more sleep. I'm losing it!' he thought to himself, walking in the opposite direction.

* * *

Helen arrived to charms in a foul temper.

She was met with many wolf-whistles from the Slytherins.

'Oooh, Asteria… Wanna spend the night with me in the broom cupboard tonight? I'm good; promise. Better than Black, anyway…' Avery leered.

Helen's face blanched and she turned to face Sirius. She was furious that he had the cheek to act surprised.

'YOU!' she screamed, walking up to him.

'ME? WHAT HAVE _YOU_ BEEN SAYING? I NEVER TOLD ANYONE!' Sirius shouted back indignantly.

There were more whistles from the Slytherins and both Helen and Sirius turned on them and snapped 'SHUT UP!'

The Slytherins fell silent, amused at the spectacle before them.

'So, Asteria,' Sirius said, turning back to face her. 'You've been telling everyone that we…'

'I have NOT. I haven't….' Helen stopped, comprehension dawning upon her face.

She turned around slowly and fixed her most withering death stare on Remus, James and Lily. They shrunk.

She walked slowly up to them.

'I didn't say anything!' James squeaked.

'Neither,' Remus said quickly, looking frightened.

'Of course I didn't say a word!' Lily added, affronted that Helen thought she would.

Helen glared at them all, eyebrows raised. She looked very threatening.

'Who was it, then?' she said icily.

Marina started to giggle, but stopped instantly when Helen looked at her.

'You think it's funny?' Helen asked softly, walking towards the blonde girl.

It was quite funny that, even though Helen was a few inches shorter than Marina, Marina was the one shrinking under Helen's glare.

'Hm?' Helen continued, now in front of Marina.

Suddenly, Marina retorted savagely.

'Only because you go on pretending to be such a goody two-shoes all the time. We all know you're just a slut underneath…' Marina started.

That was it.

Helen needed no more

To set her off completely.

She forgot about her wand.

She forgot about anything else.

She launched herself at the girl, hands enclosing around her neck.

She wanted to throttle the life out of her.

Marina gagged, trying to gasp for air. James and Remus tried to pull Helen off Marina whilst Lily screamed at Helen to stop. It took all of James and Remus' might to get Helen off Marina.

"Get off me!' Helen screamed, trying to shake off the two pairs of hands that were holding onto her tightly, her long hair falling in her face and her hazel eyes possessed with dangerous anger.

Sirius knelt by Marina and pulled her up. Helen didn't know why, but she felt the sickening stab of betrayal at this sight. She stopped struggling, staring in disbelief as Marina cried into Sirius' chest.

Sirius looked at Helen and caught her gaze. He suddenly pushed Marina off to Mary. He didn't know why, but he felt as though he had betrayed Helen by assisting Marina and that look which she gave him was exactly that; one of betrayal.

'Let go of me,' Helen said quietly to James and Remus, looking away from Sirius.

They complied, hesitantly.

Helen turned on her heel and walked out of the room, not hearing the screeches of the Slytherins as they chanted 'cat fight, cat fight!'

Once out of the classroom, Helen broke out into a run, not knowing where she was going. She found a bathroom some many floors down and burst through the doors, locking herself in a cubicle and sinking to the ground, crying.

Everything about Helen's life suddenly hit her. She had no real close friends. Lily was a friend, but they weren't _that_ close; she spent most of her time with Mary. The same went for Remus who had James, Sirius and Peter, and James… well he was Sirius' friend so there was only so close they could ever get. She sobbed as she realised that most people hated her, calling her a know-it-all, resenting her for the power which she possessed. She wasn't even a pure blood so that she could get away with something! She had no allies, being muggle born, and this depressed her even more.

There was of course, Sirius. She shook her head at herself. Of course he helped Marina. He hated Helen. Still… Marina made rumours about the both of them. It was as though they were both forced into something together and he had betrayed that. Helen started to wonder why he even hated her at all. Why her? Why not Lily? What did she ever do to him that made him pick on her on their first day of school? Lily treated him _almost_ just as badly. Helen never saw him deliberately trying to hurt Lily, though. This plunged Helen into a deeper fit of wracking sobs.

It was after at least an hour that Helen emerged from the cubicle. She walked to the mirror and washed her face at the sink, fixing herself up to look as though she had never been crying.

She realised, as she walked out of the bathroom, that she had missed the charms test.

'Fuck charms,' Helen thought to herself savagely.

Now she was swearing and skipping classes.

* * *

James found her sitting by herself under a tree by the great lake, staring at it with a vacant look in her eyes. He sighed and sat down next to her. She did not acknowledge his presence.

'We all know you're not a slut. Marina's a bitch, forget about her.'

Helen continued to stare ahead.

James leaned forward stared at her intently.

Helen's lip twitched.

He laughed.

'I knew you couldn't resist my humorous charm!' he said, leaning back and grinning.

Helen continued to be silent.

'Come on! You never care about what anyone says about you!' James said, placing a reassuring hand on Helen's arm.

Helen shrugged, but continued to say nothing. She saw Sirius walk across the grounds to Herbology with Peter. Her eyes followed him. James noted this.

'So tell me. What do I have to do to get a word out of you?' James said, leaning forward and batting his eyelashes.

Helen laughed. She couldn't help it.

'What's there to say?' she said after a while.

James noticed how her voice had become slightly gravelly from her tears.

'You're obviously upset. Why?'

'I hate Marina,' she said slowly.

'Is that all? We all know you've always hated her. Why does it bother you now?'

'It…' she faltered. She could not tell him it bothered her that Sirius took Marina's side.

She shook her head.

'Never mind,' she said, going to get up.

James took her arm, keeping her down. Helen looked at him expectantly.

'If you want to talk, you can come to me. You know that, right?' he said, looking into her eyes and smiling.

Because she would have cried unless she did, Helen hugged James impulsively. He seemed a little taken aback, patting her awkwardly on the back.

As they walked silently to Herbology, Helen could not take it any longer.

'What's wrong with me?' she blurted out, glaring at James accusingly.

'Er…'

'Is there anything actually wrong with me? Do I have any disgusting habits which I don't know about? What is so offensive about me?' she demanded.

James looked at her strangely.

'You're perfect… well, you do have a bad temper at times, but that's mostly in check anyway.' James said slowly.

'Well?' Helen demanded.

'Is there something I'm missing?' James asked suddenly.

'No,' Helen said shortly.

'It doesn't have anything to do with a certain friend of mine?' James asked very innocently.

'Sirius Black is the most vile, despicable creature that ever had the good fortune to walk on this earth,' Helen spat, venting out the anger which had been pent up in her since she left charms.

James suppressed his twitching lip.

'Is that… er, meant to be news?' he asked, trying not to laugh.

'He took her side.' Helen said stubbornly.

'Who's?'

Helen went to respond, but waved a hand dismissively.

'Marina?'

'Don't talk about her to me,' Helen said vehemently.

'You're angry at him because he went to help Marina after you tried to strangle her?'

'I would have succeeded if it wasn't for you,' Helen said bitterly.

James looked at Helen a little strangely. He wasn't sure what to think of this news, but didn't pursue the subject as they walked into the Herbology greenhouse. Thankfully, they were repotting Mandrakes which meant there was no talking; with anyone.

* * *

Marina and Helen seemed to be going from bad to worse. That night, Helen was very angry at Marina, who had gone out of her way to annoy Helen by hogging the bathroom for half an hour.

'Oh Marina, do you think you might get out some time today?' Helen called sweetly, rolling her eyes.

'No.'

'Right,' Helen said, bursting through the room to discover Marina trying to… ugh. She had a diaphragm and was trying to insert it. Helen stared in disgust.

'Get out!' Marina shrieked, pulling up her pyjama bottoms quickly.

A smirk played on Helen's lips.

'You're using diaphragms?' she drawled.

'GET OUT!' repeated Marina, dropping everything and getting up.

'So, tell me… Today, when you were talking about sluts, are you sure you weren't speaking for yourself?' Helen asked, not moving.

'Watch yourself Asteria,' Marina said, waving a threatening finger in Helen's face.

Helen ignored this finger.

'Why don't you go get Sirius to insert your diaphragm for you? I'm sure he'd love to. That way I can actually go to the toilet…'

Marina grabbed Helen's long hair and yanked it as hard as she could; trying to push Helen out of the bathroom. Helen screamed and felt for her wand, remembering that it was on her bedside table.

Never mind, Helen thought, before reaching her hand out and yanking at Marina's own hair, which was a short bob and, thus, would have hurt more. Marina screamed and tried to claw at Helen's face. They pushed each other around, still tugging at the other's hair. They were now at the top of the staircase to the girls' dormitory. Helen tried to push Marina away, but Marina persisted, grabbing Helen's shirt and ripping it, revealing her bra.

'You BITCH!' Helen screamed, launching herself at Marina.

They lost their balance and rolled, together, down the stairs, still punching and clawing at each other as they landed in the common room. Everyone fell silent as they saw the spectacle before them.

Helen felt something rip from her head, leaving it feeling as though it was on fire and saw that Marina had pulled out a lock of hair. Helen slapped Marina so hard across the face that her nose started to bleed and she cut her lip.

Helen glared at Marina with cold satisfaction and, suddenly, Marina's nose started to bleed much more heavily. Helen's eyes widened in shock; she had just used magic without a wand to hurt someone else. As Marina attempted to steady herself to hit Helen again, Helen felt someone pull her back and saw James pull Marina away, restraining her.

Helen turned around to see that Sirius had pulled her back.

'Get off me!' she screamed, writhing and very aware that she was only wearing a bra.

'Just cool it, Asteria,' he said, not letting go of her.

'Don't touch me you… vile pervert. Get OFF me,' she screamed, bringing her foot down hard on his foot, causing him to let her go immediately as he yelped in pain.

Helen looked at Marina who was starting to look a little dizzy from blood loss.

'Someone should take her to the hospital wing,' James said, placing her on the floor.

Helen crossed her arms and stared at Marina coldly.

'I will,' Sirius said, picking Marina up in his arms and carrying her out of the portrait hole, stalking right past Helen.

Helen pursed her lips and turned to see the rest of the common room staring at her; most of the guys staring at her chest. She stormed back to her dormitory, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Thankfully, Marina spent the night in the Hospital Wing. She returned at breakfast, her nose still looking rather swollen. This made Helen glad; Marina looked like a pig now.

Helen's breakfast was interrupted, however, by Professor McGonagall.

'Miss Asteria, a word please,' she said curtly.

Everyone at the table looked up and watched as Helen got up. Marina gave Helen the finger behind McGonagall's back. Helen glared back, causing Marina's roll to catch fire.

She was becoming quite good at wandless magic now.

James laughed at this and Helen noticed Remus look at her with awe, his lip twitching nonetheless. Maria yelped and dropped the burning bread.

'Professor McGonagall!' she wailed.

'Yes Marina?' McGonagall said impatiently, turning to look at the girl approaching her.

'She lit my roll on fire,' Marina cried, pointing at Helen.

McGonagall sighed and turned to Helen.

'I didn't! Ask them! I didn't have my wand out!' Helen protested.

'Helen's right. She didn't have a wand,' James piped up, walking up to them and winking encouragingly at Helen.

Helen appreciated this.

'I beg to differ,' Sirius said, also getting up and standing by Marina. Marina pouted at Sirius, making her look even more like a pig.

Helen and James glared at Sirius.

'Yes, Black?' McGonagall encouraged, impatient with Marina as it was.

'I saw Asteria's wand tucked up in her sleave,' Sirius continued.

'You…' Helen said, stepping forward. James pulled her back.

'Is it true, Asteria?' McGonagall sighed.

'Of course not!' Helen said indignantly.

'Why not? You don't miss the opportunity to hit me and curse me any other time. Why would you change now?' Marina wailed, crying on Sirius' shoulder.

Helen felt sick. The bitch was putting on an act and Sirius was helping her.

The bastard.

'I didn't!' Helen exclaimed hotly.

'She didn't,' James reasserted.

'I feel scared for my life, Professor. I can never sleep at night because I never know when she's going to sneak up on me and try to kill me. Only yesterday morning she tried to strangle me. At night, she punched my nose, and now she's made me ugly!' Marina continued to sob.

'You're not ugly. You're very pretty,' Sirius said, patting her reassuringly.

Helen snorted.

McGonagall looked at Helen sternly now. Helen couldn't believe it! McGonagall believed the blubbering liar and her godforsaken accomplice.

'Well, I stand by Helen. She didn't have her wand just now,' James reasserted.

'Are you calling me a liar?' Sirius suddenly asked, looking testily at James.

'Oh, come on Sirius. Just because you guys hate each other, you can't go this far to get her expelled,' James said reasonably.

'Expelled? Asteria most certainly will not be expelled,' McGonagall interrupted sharply.

Helen looked up in glee. Marina screamed in frustration.

'Why not? She's…'

'The best student this school has ever seen and a most polite and conscientious one in class. I see no reason to believe your story, Miss Davis. You and Mr Black will have detentions for the rest of the week for making up such vicious slander. I warn you; this behaviour will not be tolerated here at Hogwarts and should it reoccur, Davis, I will be reviewing your own position in this school,' McGonagall snapped.

If Helen ever felt like kissing a girl, it was McGonagall, right then and there. She beamed at McGonagall whose lip twitched slightly.

Marina howled, sinking to the floor.

Helen and James looked at each other, delighted. Sirius merely scowled and stalked off back to the breakfast table. Another point to Helen!

'Enough of this! Miss Asteria, if you please, I would like a word with you over a much more concrete matter,' McGonagall said, sweeping out of the Great Hall. Helen winked at James before following McGonagall quickly, not believing her luck.

* * *

**Well. Marina is causing Helen a few issues at present… perhaps making her realise something which she wants? Now, the next chapter is IMPORTANT because 'elements' of it recur later on. What am I saying, though? All my chapters are important. Tsk.**

**Anyway, so, here is a little hint… You can review this chapter and give me your guesses… I'm EXCITED to hear your thoughts. Hehe:**

'_You speak French, do you not, Miss Asteria?'_- McGonagall

**My love for you, my readers, is undying… show me your love with a review…**

**-Anya.**


	14. Original 'Girls' Night' chapter

'_**Howiver, I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.' George Eliot, "The Harvest Supper,"**__**Adam Bede

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Chapter 11: Girls Night

'Helen, can I paint your nails?'

Helen looked up at Lily in surprise.

'I don't really have any nails,' she shrugged. 'It's not practical with piano.'

Lily shook her head.

'It's okay. They've got a nail-growing charm in this book,' Lily said, showing Helen her book entitled 'Charming your way to Beauty'.

'Hey, where did you get that?' Helen said curiously, going over to Lily's bed and looking through the book.

'I ordered it from Witch Weekly. It's really good! So many things- like plucking my eyebrows and cutting my hair- are made really easy with this book. It's cheaper and far less painful than our traditional muggle methods.'

'Did you get the book?' Mary asked excitedly, coming in the room and holding her own copy of it.

'Mary, what happened to your eyebrows?' Lily exclaimed.

'What eyebrows? They're gone,' Helen muttered.

Mary shot Helen a dirty look, but she sat on Lily's bed nonetheless.

'I need you to do the reverse charm,' Mary said to Lily, ignoring Helen.

Lily looked down at the charm and, after a minute of studying it, tried it out on Mary.

'Ouch!'

'What? What's wrong?' Lily asked worriedly.

'I don't know. I just got this stinging on my eyebrows, but…. Are they back?'

'No,' Helen replied. 'Lily, you missed the swish.'

Lily threw up her arms.

'Well _you_ do the charm. I don't want to be responsible for causing damage to Mary's face.'

Mary looked at Helen suspiciously.

'How do I know that you'll do the right thing?' Mary asked slowly.

'Because,' Helen said impatiently, 'it would reflect badly on my charm-work if I did the wrong thing. Now, hold still… _Fridia regeneretsia!'_

There was a bang of smoke and they all widened their eyes.

'Oh no, maybe I did the wrong…' Helen said worriedly.

'No, they're on- nice job, Helen!' Lily said, smiling as Mary's face emerged from the cloud of smoke with a pair of nicely shaped eyebrows on it.

'Thanks, Helen,' Mary muttered reservedly.

---

'Remus! Peter! Get up! How can you be sleeping at a time like this, anyway? Your duty as a marauder calls you. Get UP!' James said, pulling their covers off.

'What's wrong with you?' Remus asked irritably, sitting up. It was full moon last night and he needed his sleep.

Sirius and James both had a mad gleam in their eyes.

'We need to figure out a way to get to the girl's dorms,' Sirius said, grinning manically.

Remus groaned and fell back in bed.

'Oh no you don't…' James said, pulling him back up.

'Why do we want to go to the girls' dorms?' Peter asked, getting up and walking over to the other three boys.

James and Sirius looked at him incredulously.

'We have it on very good authority that they're having a girly night. We HAVE to see this… apparently they're only in their underpants!" James said, looking dreamily off into the distance.

Remus looked at his friends in disgust.

'That's why there's that charm on their staircase. It's for sick perverts like you…' he said shrewdly.

'Are you a man?' Sirius asked Remus incredulously.

'I wouldn't call myself one just yet. I'm only fourteen, see…. I still consider us all to be boys…'

Sirius ignored Remus' last comment.

'So, how're we going to do it?' he demanded.

'We could try running up the staircase really fast,' Peter suggested.

James and Sirius exchanged an exasperated glance, but then James' eyes widened with excitement as he thought of a fail-proof plan.

--

'Don't do it…' Remus warned, looking at James and Sirius warily as they both got on James' broomstick and Sirius threw the Invisibility Cloak over the two of them.

The two friends ignored Remus and James kicked off, Sirius behind him, into the night air.

'There's the light… that's their room,' Sirius said, pointing to the window.

They flew over to the window and gaped at what they saw.

'Christmas definitely has come early,' James breathed, staring at Lily's half-naked body as she lay on her bed, ready for her turn at the 'no-wax, waxing charm'.

'This is better than Christmas,' Sirius said, dazed as he stared at Helen who was laughing with Mary. He glanced at Lily, but, somehow, his eyes were drawn to Helen, as though she were a magnet. He froze as Helen suddenly got up and walked to windowsill for a sip of water.

Unfortunately for Sirius, it was as she did so, that she saw a trainer floating strangely. Helen's eyes widened as she realised just who the trainer belonged to and, pretending she had not noticed it, she opened the window and walked back to where Mary was preparing herself for her waxing job.

'I think we should learn how to put tampons in after Mary's waxing charm,' Helen said loudly.

The two girls looked up at Helen strangely and, after Mary had been rendered hairless, Helen dragged them to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Helen laughed at their horrified expressions.

'No, of _course _I don't want to do that- I just needed to get you both in here.'

She lowered her voice.

'Black and Potter are watching us from outside. They're wearing an invisibility cloak and they're on James' broom.'

Lily shrieked.

'Sh!' Helen exclaimed.

'How do you know?' Mary breathed, feeling very violated.

'I saw Black's trainer,' Helen said grimly.

'That…' Lily said, storming to the bathroom door.

'Wait!' Helen whispered, grabbing Lily's arm. 'I've got a better plan…' she said, her lips curling as she recounted it to the two girls.

---

'I can't believe we're missing this…' Sirius said regretfully, staring at the closed bathroom door.

James nodded sadly, but peaked up as he saw the girls emerging, still in their underwear, giggling from the bathroom.

'Do you reckon sex feels like that?' Helen asked.

'No… it's way better,' Lily said, grinning at Helen.

'You've had sex?' Mary breathed in feigned shock.

Sirius had to grab onto James to stop him falling off his broom.

'Uh-huh,' Lily said proudly, sitting up.

'Did it hurt?' Helen whispered; but loud enough for the shocked boys to hear.

Lily smiled.

'No, he was really good… I think I'm in love with him!' Lily added, seriously.

'How many times have you done it now?' Mary persisted.

'Oh… about three times now…'

'I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna find out who it is and kill him…' James muttered through clenched teeth.

Sirius watched on in horror. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Lily Evans, of all girls! He suddenly began to feel very suspicious of the female population. They seemed to be a very deceiving lot.

'You really love him?' Helen asked.

'Oh, I do,' Lily said dreamily. 'I wish we could be more _public_ about our relationship but… well, you know what would happen if Potter ever found out…'

'Damn right,' James breathed.

'He would feel so betrayed, to be sure. I mean, Sirius Black is his best friend! It would kill James if he found out that his best friend was having sex with you- the girl of his dreams…'

The three girls looked up at the window as they heard shouts.

'YOU! HOW DARE YOU?' James screamed, turning on his broom, the invisibility cloak sliding off the two boys as his hands enclosed around Sirius' throat. He looked like he had lost any sense of self-control.

The three girls rushed to the window, laughing.

'J..James…' Sirius spluttered, not able to breath and sliding off the broom.

'WITH EVANS! EVANS OF ALL GIRLS? HOW DARE YOU TAKE HER? SHE WAS MINE FROM THE BEGINNING,' James screamed, punching Sirius, who swayed on the broom.

Helen suddenly began to feel panic set in. They were very high up in the air and, as funny as the situation was, she didn't want to be the mastermind of anyone's death… even though she wouldn't have been too sad to never see Sirius Black again.

'James!' she screamed.

James looked at her.

'HE DID THAT TO EVANS!' he roared.

Helen shook her head.

'Get in here you idiots. NOW,' Lily shrieked, obviously scared.

'YOU... YOU WENT WITH HIM!' James roared.

'It was a joke, James. Please just get inside before something happens,' Helen pleaded.

James did not seem to understand. Helen grabbed her wand and drew them, despite James' protests, into their dormitory.

Sirius got off the broom very quickly, as did James who launched himself again at Sirius.

Helen, Lily and Mary had to use all their strength to separate the boys.

'JAMES!' Helen screamed at James, who was struggling against Lily and Mary's grips.

Sirius stood behind Helen, wiping his bleeding lip.

'James, stop it. Right now. You're being a prat. How could you do that in the air? We thought you'd at least wait until you got back to the dorm!'

'WHAT?' Sirius exploded.

Helen turned on him, and Sirius' glance flitted momentarily to her chest. Helen slapped him stingingly and advanced on him menacingly.

Sirius walked backwards, very afraid.

'How dare you? Perverts! I saw your stupid shoe outside, Black.'

Sirius now fell back on Helen's bed, trying to get away from her advancing form.

'We knew you were listening, so we decided to give you a taste of your own medicine. We made the whole thing up to get back at you. Of course I'm not with Black. I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole,' Lily snapped, letting go of James and walking over to Helen with Mary. The three girls crossed their arms and gave Sirius and James withering stares.

James' lip twitched. Sirius looked in too much pain to find anything funny. He groaned and lay back on the bed.

Suddenly, Helen realised that he was lying on _her _bed.

'Get off my bed!' she shrieked, trying to push him off.

Sirius grinned evilly and stayed put. He grabbed her and pulled her on top of him.

'I always knew you had a thing for me, Asteria,' he said, rolling on top of her.

Helen screamed and kicked him between the legs and Sirius fell on top of her in pain. Lily and Mary pulled Sirius off Helen, who was still screaming at Sirius. The girls started shouting at the two boys who ran for their lives, forgetting the broom and invisibility cloak, down the dormitory stairs and into the common room. Everyone in the common room stared after them, wondering how on earth they were in the Girls' Dormitories.

Remus looked up as he saw James and Sirius run, panting, into the dormitory.

Sirius looked up as though he had been beaten up by a rogue bludger. James looked shaken, but otherwise fine.

'Did… er…. The girls give you those?' he asked, amused, pointing to Sirius' injuries.

Sirius threw him and then James a dirty look before storming off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and muttering a long trail of swearwords under his breath. He couldn't believe that those girls had beaten them at their own game.

'Well?' Remus asked expectantly, looking at James.

James recounted the horrific ordeal and, by the time Sirius emerged from the bathroom, Remus was clutching his side from laughter.

'I suppose you've both learnt your lesson then,' Remus said, wiping his eyes contentedly.

Sirius growled.

'I have learnt nothing new. Asteria is the biggest bitch in the world, which is no news to me; and I already knew that James would kill me if I ever took Evans,' Sirius said mutinously, tugging at his hangings violently and drawing them across his bed.

He remained silent for the rest of the night.

Remus sighed- some people never learn.

* * *

**Ah, poor boys. Silly perverted boys. Did they learn their lesson? Well, I'm sure if they do try it again, they will be more… er, careful. Maybe. **

**Look forward to hearing from you!**

**Lots of love, Anya**


	15. Chapter 15

**This was in the original version of the story as, originally, Helen also was really good at quidditch... which I decided to scrap in the edited version of the story as, let's face it, Helen being good at quidditch really didn't help the plot at all and also contributed to her seeming like a bit of a Mary-Sue.**

**So, for those who liked the quidditch chapters- sorry... but at least they're still here!**

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'_**When love is not madness, it is not love.' **_**Pedro Calderon de la Barca**

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[SIDE NOTE: They're in 4th year now. From now on, no more side notes about new years. Last one. Promise

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Date with Potter

'Helen.'

Helen looked up from her 'History of Magic' book.

'Oh, it's you, James,' she said indifferently. Secretly, she was quite pleased to have an excuse to not read any more on Goblin rebellions. They were, after all, not very interesting.

'Hi James,' said Remus, looking up from his potions essay.

It was a Friday afternoon and Helen and Remus were doing homework, as usual, in the library. For some reason James, who was rarely spotted in such an 'uncool' place as the school library, had sought to speak to Helen.

'Oh, hey Remus. Didn't see you there!' said James, motioning to the wall of books obscuring Remus from view.

Helen cleared her throat. 'If you wish to annoy Lily, James, I would suggest you would look elsewhere because she's not here,' she said, looking distastefully back to her History book.

'Although the prospect of speaking with Lily is not one which I would object to, it's you who I wanted to speak to,' James said.

'Me?' Helen asked, surprised. After all, James never really sought Helen for conversations.

'Yes. Can we take a walk?' said James, looking as though he wanted to leave the library very quickly.

Helen rolled her eyes and collected her books.

'See you later, Remus,' she said, peeking over his mountain of books.

'Bye,' he said, furrowing his brow as he proof read his essay, evidently finding a sentence which he didn't like.

James had already left the library. Helen found him waiting outside for her. He started walking when she had reached him and they walked for a while in no particular direction.

'I was wondering, Helen, how you would feel about trying out for the quidditch team?'

'What?' Helen said, stopping.

'There's no use denying you're a very good flier…'

'But you have a team. And you're not the captain anyway… Landers is,' Helen said, confused.

'I know, but, well, you see… our chaser, Gray, he and I… well, we got into a fight and he said to Landers that either he or I had to leave the team. Cut a long story short, he's gone and it's the middle of the quidditch season,' said James bitterly.

'And?'

'Well, even though Landers chose me, he said that I had better replace the chaser which he lost. So, I was thinking of whom I knew who would be really good, and I thought of you. Actually, I think you fly better than Gray as it is.' James added thoughtfully.

Helen blushed slightly. She was quite flattered that James had asked her, not to mention his last compliment.

'But… what about Sirius?' Helen stammered.

'What about him?' replied James eyeing her in a way that left no doubts to Helen that he was picturing her on a broomstick.

'Well, he's pretty good (I'll curse you to oblivion if you tell him I said that) and he's your best friend. Won't he be annoyed if you ask me instead of him?'

James smiled.

'Oh, it's ok. Sirius is a beater, not a chaser. I already explained all this to him, mind you, and he agreed. Next year, one of our beaters (Samuel) will be gone, so Sirius can take his place then.'

'Oh…' said Helen, looking out the window at the quidditch pitch.

'Listen, I'm serious! You would be a great chaser and quidditch is really fun!' James pleaded.

Helen turned around.

'That's easy for _you_ to say. I've never even played quidditch before! Heck, I don't even get how it fully works! I've seen about ten of the school matches in my life and that's it. How on earth do you expect me to go and play it in front of the school in a few weeks?'

'Er… it would actually be four days; but… I'll give you intensive training sessions on the rules and I'll help you! Please Helen! Please?' he said, tugging hair desperately.

'FOUR DAYS?' Helen shouted, walking away.

'Well…' said James, tagging after her.

'NO WAY!' she shouted, still walking away.

'Come on, don't be like that! It's not _that _hard…'

'Absolutely not.'

James grabbed her arm and spun her around.

'What do I have to do to get you to do this?' he asked slowly, placing stress on each word, looking into her eyes which were only inches away from his own.

Helen looked away.

'Please,' he whispered, earnestly.

Helen sighed.

'Those sessions had better be intense,' she said, smiling a little.

James grinned.

'Is that a yes?'

Helen looked at him reprovingly and then out of the window and nodded.

'I… Love… You,' he said, kissing her on the cheek with much gusto for each word.

Helen pushed him away.

'Now, you had better watch yourself or I might just change my mind,' she said, raising her eyebrows, but laughing all the same.

James shook his head.

'Thank you so much, Helen. I'm forever in your debt.'

'Well, you can decide how much you're in my debt after you see how good or bad I am…'

James ran to the window and checked the quidditch pitch.

'It's free now! Let's go!' he said, grabbing her arm and running across the corridors towards the pitch.

'WHAT?'

'Let's go! If you want to learn, we'll have to start right away,' he said, still running.

'But…' Helen stammered. She was in her school uniform and had all her books with her.

James didn't listen to her, but kept on running, still holding her arm, to the pitch.

* * *

'Okay, you wait here. I'm going to get the balls so I can explain everything to you,' James said, running off again.

'He's mad!' Helen said to herself, grinning slightly.

In less than a minute, James had returned, holding two broomsticks and a large case which he dropped very quickly.

'Here,' he said, handing Helen a broomstick. It had a smooth, polished mahogany handle. It's twigs were neatly bound together. It was evidently not a school broomstick.

'Where did you get this from?' Helen asked, admiring it.

'Oh, that's Sirius'. He said you could use it for this match, seeing as there hasn't been enough time for you to get your own.'

Helen immediately held it out to James in disgust.

'I'm not using anything that's Black's.'

James sighed impatiently.

'Listen, there's not enough time for this,' he said through gritted teeth.

'I don't care. I'm not having him do me any favours,' Helen said stubbornly.

'He's doing _me _a favour. Not you. Now, stop being silly…'

Helen crossed her arms.

'Oh, fine. Here, take my broom. _I'll_ use Sirius'. It's the same make anyway,' James said, impatiently, snatching Sirius' broom from Helen and thrusting his own into her hands.

Helen took it, a small smile tugging at her lips.

'Are you happy now?' James asked, obviously annoyed.

'Yes, thank you,' Helen said, smiling sweetly.

James sighed. 'Okay, now that _that's_ sorted, we can get on with it! Now, I know you don't have the team robes, but it's a Hogsmeade weekend on Saturday, so we can go and get them then- they should be properly fitted- so, for now, if you don't mind, just try and do your best in your uniform.'

'In a skirt?' Helen asked, incredulously.

James rolled his eyes. 'Oh, not again…'

'Actually, it's okay. I can just summon pants from here,' she said, ignoring James' last comment, and taking out her wand and saying _'accio my bike pants.'_

'Bike pants?' asked James, confused.

'You'll see,' said Helen, not wanting to explain now.

Helen's pants came whizzing through the air and she caught them. She turned around and pulled them on underneath her skirt.

'Oh… those. Yeah, I've seen them before. You can do summoning charms? We're not meant to…'

'Ahem! Shouldn't we be getting on with it?' Helen asked.

'What? Yes. Anyway, so here are the three balls. These are the…'

'Yes, I know what they're called,' Helen said, a little impatiently.

'Sorry, well, it's just that I don't know what you do and don't know.'

'Can you just explain what I'm meant to do- as Chaser?'

* * *

'Does that make sense?' asked James, after half an hour.

Helen nodded. 'Yeah, I get it now.'

James sighed in relief and then sprung up.

'Let's go, then!' he said, grabbing the quaffle and getting ready to mount his broom.

'James, wait!'

'What? What's wrong?' he asked, surveying her, confused.

'It's just… well, I don't want you to expect me to be good. I've never done this before and, well, you may be a natural talent, but I don't think I am so…'

'Don't worry. I don't expect you to be great first session round. Let's just see what you can and can't do so we can start training!' he said, encouragingly.

Helen nodded.

'You ready?' he grinned.

They both kicked off the ground.

* * *

'She was _AMAZING!_ She got every single throw! Her first time round! Can you imagine?'

'JAMES! If I hear you say another good thing about Asteria, I'm going to curse you,' said Sirius, annoyed.

'But…'

'IT'S ELEVEN O'CLOCK DAMN IT! MAYBE YOU CAN FUNCTION ON A COUPLE OF HOURS SLEEP, BUT I CAN'T! GOODNIGHT!' shouted Sirius, exasperated.

There was silence.

'Well, you'll see how good she is on Monday, mate. She's the best thing ever… I'm starting to think that I've been wasting my time with Evans. Asteria's much better looking, she's great at quidditch…Just you wait… ARGH!'

Sirius, who had had to listen to James talk about Helen all through the evening, had finally had it. He got up and dragged his friend out of the dormitory, down into the common room, pyjamas and all.

'Sirius! What the hell? What's…'

Sirius dragged James over to Helen who was writing a letter. The few people still in the common room gaped and laughed at Sirius, who looked livid in his grey pyjamas and with his dishevelled hair; holding onto James' arm (who was only wearing pyjama bottoms) with a death grip.

'Here! If you want to keep talking about how great Asteria is, tell it to her face. I've had it. If you're so in love with her, why don't you marry her while you're at it?' shouted Sirius.

Helen looked up, amused at the spectacle in front of her.

She cleared her throat.

'WHAT?' spat Sirius, rounding on her.

Helen rose from her armchair. They were roughly the same height.

'Don't you 'what' me! You're the one who just burst into the common room and disturbed the peace,' she said tartly.

'Well, it's your fault that he's like this,' he shouted, motioning pathetically at James.

'Excuse me?'

'All he can do, now, is talk about how great you. Couldn't you have found, somewhere in the depths of your damn heart of stone, the kindness to miss the quaffle at least once so I can go to sleep?'

Helen laughed, incensing Sirius even more. James was clutching his side and rolling on the floor, laughing at the spectacle.

'And to think I leant you my broom-'

'I used James' broom, thank you very much. I wouldn't want to borrow anything from _you, _Black.'

'Well, I wouldn't want to use my broom if you had befouled it with your touch,' retorted Sirius.

'Oh no, Black. Only people in Slytherin talk to mudbloods like that,' Helen snapped.

'That's not what I meant, you stupid girl. I wouldn't care if your blood was purer than mine. It's you, not your blood, that I can't stand,' he shouted.

James stopped laughing immediately. He started to get up slowly.

Helen smiled. 'And? Why do I care if you can't stand me? As far as I'm concerned, I like you just as much as you like me. What _I_ don't understand is why you're here; talking to me, at eleven o'clock at night, if you hate me so much,' Helen said coldly.

Sirius threw up his arms in exasperation, and went to leave.

'If you _ever_ talk about her to me again, just watch it,' he said, pointing a wavering finger at James, before storming up to the boys' dormitories.

James blinked, as though he didn't understand how the whole situation had started. He then turned to face Helen, who looked very angry.

'Helen?'

'What?' she snapped.

'He's… he's just very touchy when it's late…'

'Oh, the poor boy,' she said sarcastically. 'Stop making excuses for him. I don't want to hear them. I don't care,' she said, raising her eyebrows and looking back at her letter.

'He doesn't really hate you…'

'No? Well, I'll have a hard time believing that. Anyway, can you please refrain from talking about my quidditch skills to others? I'm not that good,' she said after a while.

James laughed.

'Are you kidding? You're the best thing that ever happened to this team since I joined! I think I'll stop talking about you though- Sirius might kill me…'

Helen banged her fist on the armrest at the mention of Sirius' name, nostrils flaring.

James looked at her uneasily.

'Er- sorry. Didn't mean to… Ah, never mind. Anyway, so I'll meet you at 9 tomorrow?'

'For what?' Helen looked up, surprised.

'To get your team robes, of course!' James said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

'Oh, yeah… Hogsmeade… yeah. Do you want to meet after breakfast and we'll go from there?'

'Sounds good to me!' said James, sighing as he got up. He looked up at the Boys' entrance reluctantly.

'I'm not sure if I should go up there yet… Whatever, he'll get over himself. He's always like this…'

'And you put up with him?' Helen asked, incredulous.

James laughed. 'Nah, just when he gets really annoyed he becomes a bit… moody. Well, you saw how he was tonight. Mostly, though, he's fine.'

'Whatever you say,' said Helen, obviously not convinced.

'You just have to get to know him,' James said earnestly.

Helen snorted.

'Well, I won't try and make you two love each other. I think hell will freeze over before that happens. Anyway, so I'll see you tomorrow then?'

'Yep,' replied Helen.

'Okay then, goodnight!' said James, yawning and walking off to his dormitory.

'Night,' Helen responded, looking back at her letter to her brother, Mark, and wondering whether she should waste parchment to vent her anger about Sirius.

'I've got plenty of parchment,' Helen thought grimly, before dipping her quill in her ink bottle and writing furiously.

* * *

'Aren't you coming to Hogsmeade?' Helen asked, pulling back Lily's hangings.

'Not now! I want to sleep in today. So t…tired,' yawned Lily.

'Suit yourself. I might see you there, then,' said Helen, walking out of the dormitories, for the Great Hall.

'Morning,' she yawned, sitting next to Remus at the Gryffindor table.

Sirius and James were arguing about something next to Remus.

'Morning,' replied Remus, looking up from the Daily Prophet and smiling.

'What's up with them?' Helen asked, nodding her head towards Sirius and James.

'Oh, I don't know. They were angry this morning, before I got up. Seems they had a fight last night… I hear congratulations are in order! Chaser- that's great!' smiled Remus.

'Oh… I don't know. It already seems to be more trouble than it's worth,' she said, eyeing Sirius with much distaste, before starting to eat her porridge.

'Well, we'll all be cheering for you on Monday,' said Remus, patting her on the shoulder, before turning back to read an article on a Werewolf attack.

Helen had barely had three mouthfuls of porridge before James got up abruptly from the table and snapped at her, 'Let's go.'

Helen chanced a glance at Sirius who was glaring very determinately in the opposite direction.

Helen thought it would be best if she just left with James now, so she said goodbye to Remus and followed James outside the Great walked in silence all the way to Hogsmeade.

'I won't ask then,' Helen said, breaking the silence.

James glared at her for a moment, then, he started to say, very quickly and angrily: 'I don't know _what_ the hell his problem is. I've had it with him. He has to grow up. He's been acting like a complete prat. Stupid git. What the hell did I do to him? I'm sick of listening to him complain about you and everyone else. I'm sick of it. He thinks he's the only one with problems? He's got nothing! Look at Remus…'

James stopped suddenly and cleared his throat.

'We should probably try here for your uniform…' he said, walking into Madam Milliken's robes.

'It's okay, James. I know about Remus,' Helen said, encouragingly.

'You do?' asked James, shocked.

'I knew before you did, in fact. I… I figured it out in the Boggart Defence class,' she said. She then started to think about how she saved Sirius from more embarrassment and immediately regretted the gesture.

'Well, honestly, how can he complain about his life to Remus?' James said, obviously wishing to vent his anger about Sirius.

'Everyone has their own problems. Just because someone has 'bigger' issues, it doesn't mean that their own ones don't matter.' Helen paused, and laughed in spite of herself. 'What the hell? This doesn't make sense? I'm defending him? No way! No. I absolutely agree with you. He has nothing to complain about…'

Helen stopped speaking as an elderly witch came up to them, asking how she could help them.

James did most of the talking and explaining for Helen, which was just as well as she didn't understand many of the terms he used.

'Come here, dear,' the witch said, motioning Helen to another room.

Helen looked at James quizzically.

'Don't worry, she's just going to measure you up now,' he explained, with a smile at her naivety in the Magical world.

'Oh, right- fitting rooms. Can you hold my bag?' she said, giving him her bag, before following the witch to the other room.

'That will be ten galleons,' said the witch, folding up the uniform.

Helen went to her purse, but James stopped her.

'The school pays for these uniforms,' James explained to Helen, handing the witch a note from Professor McGonagall.

'Very well, then. They shall be charged to the school's own account. Good day to you both!' said the witch, once she was satisfied with the note.

They walked out of the shop together, Helen holding the bag with her new quidditch uniform. As this was all they had arranged to do together, they both stood rather awkwardly outside the shop. After an uncomfortable pause, James, said, 'hey, do you want to check out the new quidditch shop?'

'Sure,' said Helen, glad for anything to end the silence.

'So, explain to me, is there like an English Quidditch league or something? We have it for football…'

'That game where they run around chasing and kicking around a ball?' asked James comically.

'Yeah, that one,' Helen said, laughing at his reaction.

'Are you kidding? Do we have a League? Oh Helen, Helen, Helen. You have much to learn,' James said, bowing his head over in mock-disappointment.

Helen hit him.

'We have the World Quidditch Cup Final next year! It happens once every four years. They're still playing off the countries for the final. They're up to the quarter-finals now. Next week it's Ireland vs. Bulgaria… should be a good match. My dad gets them recorded on omnoculars and sends them to me…'

Helen smiled and made a mental note to ask James about quidditch should she ever be lost for a topic of conversation again.

* * *

After walking around Hogsmeade for nearly three hours, admiring the newest _Silver Arrow_ broomstick in Quigley's Quidditch Supplies, Helen felt her stomach churn with hunger. When she wondered why, she recalled that James had stormed out of the Great Hall very early into her breakfast.

James too rubbed his stomach unconsciously as he kept on talking about quittage. Helen, who thought she might faint from hunger soon, decided she would suggest they eat, or at least drink, something.

'Hey James, do you want to get something to eat? I don't know about you, but I'm starving,' Helen asked, tactfully, when he finished a sentence.

'What? Oh, yeah. I'm hungry too. Why is that?' he paused, trying to remember, then an ugly expression cam over his face. 'Oh, that's right… I had Mr Black yelling down my throat for most of breakfast.'

Helen smiled apologetically. 'Shall we go to the Three Broomsticks, then?'

'Yeah, let's go. I could do with a butterbeer too,' he said, as they walked into the pub.

They were greeted with the sound of the many Hogwarts students sharing the week's gossip over lunch. As they walked through the crowd, Helen couldn't but help noticing that many girls stared at her, before turning back to their friends and whispering excitedly.

'Let's sit here,' James, said, finding an empty table. 'You wait here, I'll get us butterbeers,' he said, as Helen sat down and flicked through her copy of _'Which Broomstick'_ whilst she waited for James to return.

'Helen?'

Helen turned around to see Remus with Peter.

'Oh, hey Remus, hi Peter. Why don't you guys –'

'What's wrong? Why have we stopped in the… What the hell? I thought you were helping her buy robes, not taking her out on a date!' shouted Sirius at James who had just returned with two pints of butterbeer. Everyone else around them became quiet.

James slammed down the two mugs, causing butterbeer to slop all over the table. Helen winced, as did Remus and Peter. The three of them exchanging glances of dread as to what was to follow.

'Ok. That's it. What is your problem? I don't understand! What exactly have I done that has turned you into this screaming git?' shouted James back.

Sirius looked perfectly furious.

'You're hanging around _her_ all of a sudden,' he said, pointing a finger at Helen.

'_Her_ has a name, Sirius. And it's rude to point. Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners? …Oh, sorry that's right. You're scared of your mummy aren't you?' Helen shouted, incensed.

Before she knew it, Sirius had pulled out his wand and Helen had a gash on her cheek.

Helen was furious; she had never wanted to curse him more than at present. She sent him flying backwards into the table behind him. There was the crunch of breaking glasses as he landed. He winced in pain as he got up. As he was about to respond, his wand, and Helen's, flew out of their hands and the next thing Helen knew, she felt someone pulling her from the ear in one hand, and Sirius in the other, out of the pub. Helen tried to hit Sirius from behind the person's back.

'ENOUGH!' shouted the person, pushing them out of the door. When Helen looked up, she realised that it was Madam Rosmerta.

'Never, in my entire life, have I witnessed such despicable behaviour from students. Yes, Black. Hitting a woman? In my country men do not do such things…'

'Please, just because I'm a girl- I can kick his arse…' Helen started, rolling her eyes

'And in my country, a girl does not use such dirty language. Who will pay for the mess? Hmm?'

'I can fix that; just give me my wand…' Helen began, looking from her wand to Sirius.

'NO! This is absurd. You two are banned from my pub for the rest of this year and, if you wish to be able to visit Hogsmeade at all, I suggest that you change your behaviour because, the way you're going, you will be banned from every shop in town. Here are your wands, and if I catch you fighting anymore, I shall inform Professor Dumbledore immediately,' said Madam Rosmerta sternly, thrusting their wands to them and then leaving in a huff back to her pub.

They stared after her.

'You have my wand, Asteria,' said Sirius stiffly.

'What?' snapped Helen. Then, realising that Madam Rosmerta had given her Sirius' wand, held it out to him, taking her own wand very quickly from him.

James, Remus and Peter came running out of the pub; James holding Helen's bags which she had left inside.

'WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU GUYS THINKING OF!' exclaimed Remus, looking from Sirius to Helen incredulously.

'I'm sick of him. Just sick of him,' she said, eyeing Sirius, who was glaring at her, in distaste. She then turned to James.

'James; thank you for today. I had quite a nice time until now. I'll see you, I suppose, in quidditch practice tomorrow,' she said, not looking directly at James either, as he handed her, her bags. She went to leave but James pulled her back.

'I'm sorry about what happened. It shouldn't have involved you,' he whispered to her, turning his back to the others.

Helen shrugged.

'Are you hurt?' he said, touching her gash gently. Helen saw Sirius glare angrily at this.

'Me? No, I'm fine, thank you.'

'Can I walk you back?'

'I'm not sure that's a-'

'I'll walk you back,' he said, waving to Remus and Peter and glaring at Sirius who was now looking in the opposite direction, more livid than ever.

They walked in silence for a short while. Helen had to bite her lip to stop angry tears from falling. James found her hand and they walked, hand in hand out of Hogsmeade. When they were on the Hogwarts ground, Helen, despite her desperate attempts, could not prevent her tears from spilling town her cheeks. James put his arm around her shoulder, causing her to cry even more. He abandoned his attempt to take her back to the castle, but sat her down on a bench of the sidelines of the Quidditch pitch.

'Come on. Don't take him seriously,' James said, squeezing her shoulders.

'It's not him… it's not him…' she protested, wiping her eyes determinedly; trying, in vain, to stop crying.

'You know, it's okay to be upset. It's okay to cry, Helen.' James said, as she struggled to regain her normal calm composure.

Helen took a deep breath and, finally, was able to stop crying.

'No. I don't need to. I'm fine. It's got nothing to do with him…'

James raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

'Okay, so maybe it has a little to do with him, but not because he's Sirius. It's just… EVERYTHING!' Helen laughed weakly. 'I mean, I… I get a lot of crap from people as it is, so it's just… I don't understand why he makes me so angry. Why? They all say the same things about me and to me. Why does he always make me angry beyond control?' Helen demanded, looking at James expectantly.

James laughed and then sighed, leaning back and closing his eyes.

'Because he's Sirius,' he said.

He then opened his eyes, raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

'He has this way of digging the knife into someone and twisting it. I don't know how he does it, but he does- and he's very good at it! He tries extra hard with you, though. I think it's because he's never seen it have much of an effect on you,' said James, smiling at Helen.

Helen snorted.

'Well, the last thing I need is you telling him that I became a blubbering mess on the way back to the castle,' Helen said, looking at James with a 'don't you dare tell him' expression.

James laughed, and patted Helen on the back.

'Don't worry, I don't think I'll be talking much to him for a while anyway,' he said, a hint of frustration in his voice.

'You shouldn't break up your friendship, you know,' Helen said thoughtfully.

James looked at her in surprise.

'Sure, I mean, I'm not mad about the guy,' to which they both snorted, 'but, after all; you're best friends and, it's not worth having a fight because you get along with me.'

James stared for a while, then said slowly; 'I don't think we'll break up the friendship. I think he'll come round, or we'll both meet halfway, or whatever that saying is… I think you might understand, even though you don't like him, that he's like a brother to me. You don't break up a family just because of a small fight. I think something's bothering him that he doesn't know how to say. Once he gets over it, or tells me, I know everything will be fine.'

'Well, I hope so,' Helen said, 'for your sakes. It would be a pity.'

They both sat in silence for a little while longer.

'Shall we go inside now?' Helen asked, eventually.

James nodded and they both walked back up to the castle and to the common room.

* * *

Helen walked into her dormitory feeling close to being a zombie. It was an emotionally draining day. She did not even bother turning on the lights, but walked straight to her bed, pulled open the hangings, and flopped onto it.

'So, you're finally back,' said the shrewd voice of Lily Evans.

Helen buried her face into her pillow. She lifted a heavy arm and said, 'Hi Lily,' before snuggling even deeper into her pillow.

'Don't you 'Hi Lily' me. What's this about your date with Potter?' she asked; anger in her voice.

Helen looked up in surprise.

'What?'

'Everyone has been talking about your date with Potter, and I would like to know why you chose to keep it a secret from me.'

'I didn't have a date with James… No… look, I told you how he was going to help me buy my new quidditch robes…'

'And how did that translate into an all-day affair? I would have thought that would have taken half an hour at the most.'

'Well, he's been fighting with Sirius and we were both kind of alone in Hogsmeade so, I don't know how the time went, but we just spent the day walking around and talking about quidditch and when we decided that we'd get something to eat, because we didn't really get the chance to have breakfast with Sirius' whining, Sirius bloody Black comes alone and gets me a year-long ban from the Three Broomsticks,' said Helen resentfully.

'What?' asked Lily, temporarily forgetting her stern voice.

'Well, he came in and insulted me- like calling me 'her' and pointing at me- and then I shouted back at him- something about him not having any manners and being scared of his mum- and then he sent a curse, so I sent him flying back on this table. I hurt him more, by the way,' Helen added, just to clarify that she ended up winning their mini-duel.

'And the year-long ban?' asked Lily horrified.

'Oh, yeah, Rosmerta pulled us by the ears, kicked us out, lectured us about the morals which they have in her country, and then told us that we're not to return for the rest of the year,' said Helen indifferently.

Lily gaped at Helen, but then grinned a little.

'So that's why Black was clutching at his back when he came in?'

'He was?' asked Helen, eager to hear that she caused as him as much pain as possible.

'Yes,' smiled Lily. Then, her smile disappeared as she said, with much distaste; 'but then Marina offered to give him a massage- '_I am very good with my hands,'_ mimicked Lily, - 'and they haven't come down from his dormitory since then.'

'Gah! If I've helped him have another conquest… Ah, who cares? I'm sick of him. Sick of seeing him, sick of fighting with him, sick of anything to do with him. I wish he'd just go away,' sighed Helen, lying back.

Lily fidgeted with Helen's hangings.

'Anything bothering you?' Helen asked, eyeing her friend's uneasiness.

'Did you do anything with Potter?' Lily asked in a barely audible voice.

'WHAT?' Helen exclaimed, sitting up again.

'Well, it's just that, when Black came back, he said really loudly how you and Potter had gone off to… well, I think you can guess… Helen! Where are you going?' called Lily, getting up to run after Helen, who had just stormed out of the dormitory.

Helen's blood was boiling more than it ever had in her entire life. When she entered the common room she looked around, wanting to find only one person. She saw Remus looking at her uncertainly and girls pointing at her before turning around to gossip about what Sirius had just said about her.

After scanning the room, she found him. The scoundrel had Marina sitting behind him, rubbing his shoulders whilst he sat back with closed eyes. Helen pushed Marina, who gave an angry squeal, off him. Sirius had just opened his eyes, which went wide with fear when he registered who had put the end to his pleasure when Helen punched him, as hard as she could. She felt his nose break under her knuckles, but did not care; in fact, it made her happy. She had never hated anyone so much in her entire life.

'HELEN, NO!' Lily and James shouted, both trying to pull Helen back as she went to punch Sirius again.

'GET OFF ME,' she screamed, as Sirius clutched his nose in agony, blood pouring out of it, 'GET OFF ME! THE BASTARD! I WANT TO KILL HIM! TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD STUPID LIES THAT I WAS HAVING SEX WITH JAMES! GET OFF ME!' she screamed, finally freeing herself to launch another assault on Sirius who was on the floor screaming; 'GET THIS CRAZY BITCH OFF ME!'

The reason for which Helen was able to hit Sirius again, however, was that James had let go of her arm when she had screamed that Sirius had said that she had slept with him, in shock.

'GET HER OFF ME! OUCH! GERROFF YOU MAD… OUCH! THAT'S IT!' screamed Sirius, as Helen hit punched him in the ribs, his arms flailing.

'OUCH!' Helen screamed as Sirius pulled her long hair, causing her to fall on the ground with him.

"LET GO OF MY HAIR YOU FUCKING-'

'Miss Asteria, I would request that you do not finish that sentence.'

Helen fell on top of Sirius in shock. Professor Dumbledore was standing in front of them, Lily running in his wake. Helen made a mental note to kill Lily for ruining her opportunity to kill Sirius.

'Now, Miss Asteria, Mr Black, I would ask that you follow me. I think this issue must be resolved if you are to both remain residents of the Gryffindor tower in Hogwarts,' said Professor Dumbledore, turning around to walk out of the Common Room.

'Get off me, you bitch,' mumbled Sirius, pushing Helen, who was still on top of him in shock, off him.

'There will be no need for name calling, Mr Black,' called Professor Dumbledore's voice from outside the Portrait hole.

Helen got off Sirius quickly, stood up straight, and strode out of the common room, not looking at anyone. Sirius followed, clutching at his streaming nose with one hand, and his ribs with the other. James looked the other way, white with anger, when Sirius walked past him. Eventually, Sirius made his way to the portrait hole, but fell out, obviously unable to keep his balance, on his face.

'Dear me,' said Professor Dumbledore, surveying the considerably damaged boy in front of him.

'Now, let me see… ah, yes!' said Dumbledore, pointing his want at Sirius and muttering a few spells under his breath. Immediately, Sirius' nose was back to normal and he stood up straight without flinching.

'Thank-you professor,' he gasped, genuine thanks evident in his tone.

Dumbledore nodded curtly and led them to the statue of a giant gargoyle.

'Raspberry Drop,' he said, and the gargoyle leapt to the side to reveal a staircase, which Dumbledore went forward to climb.

Sirius made to go first, but Helen said, 'Ladies first, Black,' pushing her way forward. She heard him mutter something under his breath in frustration.

When Helen and Sirius entered Dumbledore's office, their mouths dropped as they looked around them in awe at all of Dumbledore's strange and unique trinkets. When Helen's eyes fell upon the bird next to Dumbledore, she momentarily forgot that she was taken to his office to be reprimanded and rushed up to it.

'Is that a phoenix, sir?' she asked in awe.

'Yes, this is Fawkes,' said Dumbledore, smiling a little at Helen's admiration for his bird.

'He's beautiful,' she said, as the bird flew onto her arm and she stroked his head tenderly.

Sirius cleared his throat, bringing Helen out of her reverie and, back to the reality of her annoying situation.

'Forgive me; how rude of me! Please sit,' said Dumbledore, conjuring a couch in front of his desk.

Helen and Sirius sat as far apart from each other as possible, each of them pushing into their own arm rest.

Dumbledore sighed as he saw this.

'Now, I am going to ask for an explanation as to why I was approached by Miss Evans, during my evening stroll of the castle, who led me to your common room to find you both in an such a compromising position.'

'Black started it,' Helen said, bitterly.

'If I recall correctly, Asteria,' said Sirius in a loud voice, 'it was your hand which broke my nose whilst I was relaxing on an armchair.'

'Oh, you were relaxing all right you…'

'ENOUGH!' said Dumbledore sternly, clapping his hands.

'You are both old enough to be able to sort these issues out in a civilised manner. I think it will be best if I ask each of you separately, uninterrupted, for your own version of the story and, perhaps, then I shall be able to assist you in reconciliation.'

Helen raised her eyebrows disbelievingly at Dumbledore's 'reconciliation.' Sirius and she had never been conciliated in the first place to become reconciled.

'Ladies first, as they say. Miss Asteria, might I ask for your side of the story?' said Dumbledore, his piercing blue looking into her own.

Helen sighed and looked down at the beautiful bird on her lap.

'Well, I wouldn't say that Black and I…'

'I would ask that you both call each other, respectfully, by your first names,' interrupted Dumbledore.

'Well, like I said… _Sirius_ and I have never really been able to get along… not surprising. Anyway, well, for some reason, today he seems to have something up his… I mean, he seems to have something bothering him because I went to have lunch with James… _as friends_… and he came in the Three Broomsticks and started screaming at James and insulting me. Anyway, then we had a fight, got kicked out of the pub, and James and I left Hogsmeade. When we returned to the common room, I went to lie down in my dorm and then Lily told me that he was heralding to the whole common room that James and I had gone off and….' Helen blushed. It was a very different thing to repeat this to the headmaster.

'Yes?' asked Professor Dumbledore, his eyes somewhat twinkling from behind his glasses.

Helen felt mortified.

'He… he said that we… we… were having… Oh, honestly professor, I think you know what I mean!' said Helen indignantly.

'I understand that this is uncomfortable, however I must be absolutely certain that what you are implying is what I believe you are implying.'

Helen was never angrier at Sirius than at this moment.

'He said that I was having s…s…sex with James,' she spat, glaring at Sirius.

'And… er, I gather that this was _not _the case,' said Dumbledore, his lips twitching slightly.

'NO! It most definitely was _not_ the case. Just because _he _does it with girls at the drop of a…'

'Thank you, Miss Asteria. We do not need to go into that now. Please continue. Miss Evans had just informed you that Mr Black was spreading rumours about you and his _best friend_,' at which Sirius recoiled, slightly, in guilt, 'and then you…'

'Got up, ran down the stairs, found the scoundrel and beat him up,' finished Helen grimly.

'Ah! I see,' said Dumbledore lightly, in a somewhat amused tone. 'Well, I would not deny that that was a very natural way to react… Ahem! Now… Mr Black? Do you have anything to add to the story?'

'If you weren't, then what were you doing with James all that time?' shot Sirius at Helen.

'What were we doing? Talking about bloody, selfish you of course and how you're such a dic- I mean… so nasty to him and he doesn't know what on earth he's done to you. That's what we were doing. Not doing… _that,'_ spat Helen, incredulously.

Sirius sank back into the couch and put a shaking hand to his face. Helen didn't understand his reaction and gaped at him, confused.

'Is there a reason, Mr Black, why you have felt so antagonistic towards your best friend?' asked Professor Dumbledore, rather kindly.

Sirius sighed.

'I don't want to say it in front of her- I mean H...Helen,' he said, looking at the wall.

'I beg to differ. Miss Asteria has felt the full brunt of your own issues and I believe that she deserves an explanation,' said Professor Dumbledore simply.

Sirius shot a glance at Helen before starting. 'It's because James kept on talking about Helen yesterday and… I didn't like it. Then, today, he spent the whole day with her- and we usually go to Hogsmeade as a group. At breakfast he said it was just to buy her robes, but he said I couldn't come with him. Then, four hours later, I find him having butterbeers with Helen!'

'Are you jealous of me?' asked Helen, incredulously.

Sirius ignored her. 'James changed yesterday. It's all Helen's fault. He was never like that.'

'How are you going to be if he actually goes out with a girl? You can't possess him like that! Why would you spread a rumour about him like that, if you're such good friends?' said Helen, staring at him.

'I didn't ask your opinion As- Helen,' said Sirius through gritted teeth.

'I must agree, however, with Miss Asteria. I understand you may find it hard at first to find that your friend might have an interest in someone else; however, you cannot take out your frustration on that other person. Furthermore, spreading rumours about your friend is _not_ what good friends do.'

Sirius looked at his hands.

'As for you, Miss Asteria, although I can understand that you were very angry at Mr Black, violence is not the answer to our problems. It is thus that I will have to subtract a _very_ lenient 10 points from Gryffindor. The same goes for you Mr Black. 10 points from Gryffindor'

Helen and Sirius nodded. Personally, Helen found 10 points to be a most gracious punishment.

'Now, I ask that you both shake hands and forget about the past. You have an opportunity now to put aside your childish differences and to start afresh. I daresay, you may even be able to find some similarities with each other.'

Helen and Sirius turned towards each other, neither one looking at each other.

'Eye contact would be nice,' muttered Professor Dumbledore, the tips of his long fingers together as he looked up at the ceiling.

Helen sighed and looked into Sirius' grey eyes. Although she could not forgive him, she saw the expression in them and, no matter what she willed herself to think, it was not one of hate. They shook hands, lightly, and let go after what was a respectfully short clasp.

'Do any of you have anything else to say?' asked the Professor.

'No,' they both mumbled.

'Very well then, you may both leave together.'

'Thank you, professor,' they both said, getting up to leave.

'Goodbye, Fawkes,' Helen whispered, stroking the bird one last time before it flew over to Dumbledore. Sirius was already at the door waiting for Helen.

'Oh, Mr Black, forgive me! Might I have a moment of your time? I promise I shan't be long. Miss Asteria, you may wait outside for Mr Black, if you please.'

Sirius went back into the room, looking a little confused. Meanwhile Helen pulled a book off the shelf and sat down in the arm chair and began reading. She smiled, when she realised it was a book of fairy stories for young witches and wizards. She was in the middle of reading the story of the three brothers who met Death, each asking for a different item, when Sirius stepped out of the study, looking rather pale. Helen shut the book and replaced it on the shelf.

They walked in silence all the way to the common room. Somehow, Helen couldn't but help thinking that this was the safest thing to do.

When they reached the portrait, and she was about to climb into the common room, Sirius put out a hand to stop her. He looked in her eyes and, yet again, Helen saw that expression which she didn't understand.

'I'm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it all out on you and… I'll tell everyone that it was a lie about you and James,' he said, searching her hazel eyes for a trace of acceptance.

'Well, so long as you clear up my reputation…' Helen said, her lips slightly twitching.

She went to go, but Sirius started speaking again.

'Oh and, um, you can use my broomstick on Monday. Unless you don't want to, but, you know… I think James is better on his own broomstick so…' Sirius shrugged, apparently struggling to string words together for the first time in his life.

'Oh, erm, thanks. I… well it would be convenient,' Helen said, a little confused.

'Did he do something to his head?' she wondered, thinking of Sirius' private meeting with Dumbledore.

'Oh, and good luck. Even though the way James goes on about you, you probably won't need it,' added Sirius, now looking at the ground.

Helen turned and smiled at him. 'Thank you, Sirius,' she said, patting him lightly on the shoulder before entering the common room which fell silent upon their entrance.

* * *

**Are you thinking what I'm thinking? What am I thinking? I'm thinking that, perhaps, a marauder of ours is starting to find himself having issues because he is not sure with how to deal with his feelings about a certain someone. Hmm… I could be wrong. You never know. ****Anyway, so next chapter is fun because it is the quidditch match (and a few other things.) ;)**

**Love Anya.**


	16. Chapter 16

'_**Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones.' **_**Mignon McLaughlin, ****The Second Neurotic's Notebook****, 1966

* * *

**

Dirty Blood on the Snake

Helen did not feel compelled to explain herself to all of Gryffindor anything about what happened between her, Sirius and Dumbledore. Although she was asked by many people (some of them she barely knew), she dismissed them; kindly at first, snappily by Sunday afternoon. The only person whom she told was Lily. Sirius had made an announcement to the common room on Saturday night that his rumour was, in fact, a rumour and nothing more. Helen didn't hear it herself; she went straight to bed. Rather, she was informed about it by Remus during breakfast the next morning. Although there was no real damage done by the whole situation, Helen noticed that James was extremely awkward around her the next day. Helen felt, however, that she could forgive him this. She knew that it was nothing personal and would soon fade with time.

After breakfast, Helen set off for the quidditch pitch for her first official training session. She put on her team uniform and could not help but think how well it suited her. On seeing her long hair which hanging to her waist, however, she realised that it would be quite difficult to see the quaffle if her hair was flying in her face. To tackle this, she put it in a long French braid which suited her even more in uniform. When she emerged from the change room, she found the rest of the team. She was acquainted with most of them, so there was no need for introduction. Landers, however, gave one anyway.

'Okay team. Due to unfortunate circumstances-you know the story- we've had to find a new chaser. So, Helen Asteria's filling in for this game and, if you're as good as James says you are, probably for good. Now. Slytherin are going for the kill in this game. They're going to play as dirty as they can. The only way to win is to fight fire with fire. Our team is… not ideal, but still good. Their team is average, but will do anything to salvage a point. I'm telling you; every point counts in this game. Every point….'

'Shall we start training, then?' interrupted Alicia Chan, another chaser in her 7th year, exchanging glances with the others at Landers' long-winded speech.

'What? Oh, well, yes. I suppose we had better start… Okay, everyone! Let's hit the pitch!' Landers said, clapping James on the back.

Helen followed James on to the pitch and kicked off the ground, feeling the bliss of the wind against her skin. She was quickly pulled out of her reverie, however, as Landers started them on drills.

After an hour, Helen felt as though her arms were about to drop off. She was not used to physical exercise of this kind, despite the fact that she performed very well in practise. After a half-hour 'warm-down,' Landers called them in.

'Okay, team. I want you all fresh for tomorrow, so we'll stop here. Everyone is to get an early night and have a good breakfast at 7. That way, you won't want to bring it back up…'

'Enough information Landers,' said Sally Rochester, the team Keeper, with a face of disgust.

'Ok, ok. Well, good practise team, and might I add, Asteria, you're staying! I'm starting to think that your argument, Potter, was the best thing that happened to the team since you joined it,' said Landers, walking off to the change rooms.

'How was it?' James asked Helen as they walked to the changing rooms, his eyes and cheeks bright from the exercise.

'Argh… my arms…' said Helen, rubbing them.

James laughed.

'No, this is NOT funny. They're going to be even sorer tomorrow! How will I… what's this?' asked Helen, holding up the glass bottle which James had just handed her containing a ruby ointment.

'It's for the soreness. It works miracles, trust me. Just rub it on before you go to bed and you'll be fine tomorrow,' he said, winking and tapping his nose.

'Won't you want to use it?'

'Don't worry, I've got another stash. I brought this one for you today.'

'Why, how considerate of you,' Helen said, smiling.

'Well, if you don't perform well tomorrow, it'll be my head, just as much, if not more, than yours that Landers will be after,' said James, shuddering at the thought.

'I suppose that's a hint to perform well then?'

'You suppose correctly,' James grinned, as they walked into their separate change rooms.

* * *

When Helen emerged from the change rooms, freshly showered, her long hair flowing down her back, she found James waiting for her.

'Oh, hey! I didn't expect you to wait,' said Helen, as he got up to walk with her back to the castle.

'I just wanted to talk about a few things,' James said.

'Yeah, I think we should,' Helen agreed.

'I didn't say to Sirius that we were…'

'Having sex? No, I know that. He made it up because he was jealous that you were spending too much time with me rather than him,' said Helen, laughing a little.

James shook his head.

'Honestly, if I didn't know better, I'd say his head wasn't screwed on properly,' James said.

'So are you guys better now?' Helen asked.

'Well, we had a good long chat yesterday and straightened a few things out. Yeah, we'll be fine.'

Helen suddenly stopped, realising something.

'It's Christmas in a few weeks,' she said.

'And?'

'Won't he have to go home?'

'Oh… that must be it! How do you know about his troubles at home?' James said, looking at Helen quizzically.

'Well, his boggart might be a good starter…'

'Oh, that! Haha, I remember that. That was weird. Do you remember? He looked so freaked out by it and, I swear I never heard him say anything… heck, I didn't even see him point his wand, and it just vanished! I was pretty impressed, though, I must admit. To finish the Boggart off on its first shape-shift!'

Helen bit her lip and said nothing.

* * *

Monday morning came all too quickly. Helen awoke at six o'clock feeling as though she had not slept at all, even though she gave up on doing any homework at eight o'clock the previous night. She got up; looking slightly dishevelled, and pulled on her team robes. Yawning, she plaited her hair as she had done the day before and splashed cool water on her face; waking her up a considerable amount.

She looked at herself in the mirror and felt sick as she just realised that the whole school would be watching her if she made a fool of herself. She shook these thoughts from her head, however, and walked down to the common room where she found Landers pacing the ground, going over the game strategy to himself.

'Morning Landers,' she said, smiling at his devotion their team. It was quite endearing now that she was not made to do arduous drills.

Landers looked up abruptly, as though he had just been pulled back to reality.

'Oh, it's you Asteria. Good. Who else is up?'

'I'm here,' said James, emerging from the Boys' staircase, stretching. Helen noticed how his hair was considerably messier today; indicating a rough night's sleep.

'Us too,' chimed Alicia and Sally from behind Helen.

'Okay, well, I'll wait for the others here. You all go now and get some breakfast,' said Landers, before beginning to pace the Common Room again.

'How do you feel?' asked James, clapping Helen on the back.

'Well, not sore, but pretty sick, all the same,' Helen said, smiling weakly.

'Ah! That's natural for your first match. I remember mine…' James laughed, 'I couldn't eat anything at breakfast.'

Helen looked at her toast and pushed it away.

'No, you have to eat,' James said, pushing her plate back to her.

'I feel sick,' Helen said, clutching her stomach.

'You'll feel better if you eat,' said James, tucking into his scrambled egg on toast.

Helen stared glumly at her toast.

'If you don't eat, I'll have to force-feed you.'

'I'd like to see that!' said Alicia from across the table, laughing.

James picked up a piece of toast and wafted it to Helen's face.

'Don't be si-'

Helen was interrupted by the toast which James had crammed into her mouth when she opened it.

'Now, just munch on that and you'll be fine!' said James, laughing with the rest of the team at Helen's look of shock.

Helen did manage to eat two pieces toast. James suggested she eat another, but became silent at the look he received from her.

'I don't eat more than two pieces, normally, as it is,' Helen snapped.

After an hour, Landers clapped his hands.

'Okay, team! Let's hit the change rooms!' he said, springing up as the whole team followed suit.

'GOOD LUCK!' echoed many voices from the Gryffindor table. On passing into the Entrance Hall, Helen saw Remus, Peter and Sirius making their way to breakfast. Helen smiled and waved at Remus who gave her thumbs up and mouthed 'good luck.' Helen felt her gaze slip momentarily to Sirius who she saw, to her surprise, looking her up and down with a grin on his face. When he realised that she was glaring at him, he gave a curt nod in her direction before turning to talk to Remus, the grin reappearing. Helen, however, did not have the chance to try and understand Sirius' strange behaviour as she felt her a jolt of shock when she stepped onto the quidditch pitch and she realised that; not only was this not a dream, but she was about to play her first quidditch match.

* * *

Time seemed to fly. Before she knew it, they were lined outside, in front of the whole school, opposite the Slytherin team. She barely even heard the leers of the Slytherins or the cheers of the school. It was so surreal.

'Hey.' Helen felt James tug at her sleeve. 'This is it. Good luck! You'll be great, I know it,' he said, grinning.

Helen sighed, and also chanced a hesitant smile. 'Well, I hope so! Good luck to you too. If you can, get the snitch as soon as possible…'

'No way! Remember what Landers said? He wants up a hundred points up before that happens.'

Helen rolled her eyes and they both grinned.

'Three… Two… One!'

They all kicked as hard as they could from the ground. Helen looked around for the quaffle and saw that Bellatrix had it. Helen flew towards her. As soon as Bellatrix threw it at Nott, Helen flew in between the two of them and caught it. She dodged the bludger sent at her by Avery, Malfoy who tried to block her path, with only one thing in mind; the goal post. As she approached the goal post, Crabbe tried to knock her off her broom, but she dodged this and scored the first goal of the match.

'Gryffindor leads 10 – 0!' came the booming voice of Lyson on the megaphone.

Helen heard the cheers from the Gryffindor crowd and, suddenly, everything seemed a lot louder.

'WELL DONE HELEN!' screamed Alicia from the other end of the pitch, before, ducking a bludger sent at her by Goyle.

The game was back in play. Landers now had the quaffle, but was hit with a sickening crunch by Avery's bludger. Helen saw Bellatrix make a dash to snatch the quaffle. Helen leaned on her broomstick so much that she was almost vertical. She managed to grab it, pulling up suddenly to avoid hitting the ground (what James had explained to her the other day as the 'Wronski Feint). Helen heard the 'oohs' of the crowd at this, but did not lost her concentration. Bellatrix, however, was not so lucky and fell with a sickening thud to the ground. Helen continued, dodging bludgers, Malfoy and Nott, and then scored another goal.

Slytherin scored the next goal; Helen was encircled by the two Slytherin beaters. After the Slytherin goal, however, she managed to shake them off after James shouted at her to get out of it, to which she replied angrily that it was easier said than done.

Landers then, showing his true colours in narrowly dodging a bludger, shot a goal and then Alicia shot another after him. James, meanwhile, circled overhead, scanning the pitch for the snitch.

Landers' warning the previous day was not empty. After Helen scored another two goals, making the score 60-10 in Gryffindor's favour, the Slytherin team seemed to think that a clean game would not help them win.

When Helen was about to score yet another goal, Avery came from behind Helen and whacked her, very hard, in the back, causing her, not only to drop the quaffle which was consequently carried off by a delighted Bellatrix, but to lose her balance. She was holding onto her broomstick for dear life with one arm and Avery was about to send a bludger into her when James came, out of nowhere, and scooped her around the waist, causing the bludger to hit Goyle instead.

'Thanks,' Helen said, rather weakly, as she managed to position herself on her broomstick again.

'Those bastards…'

'Later. Just find that snitch, please?' Helen asked, desperate not to be in a situation where she would have to be rescued by James again, before zooming off to be in the thick of the game.

Madam Hooch was busy screaming at Avery for his despicable behaviour. She awarded two penalties to Gryffindor. Landers took the first one, scoring, and Alicia just missed her penalty. The game resumed play as normal- if normal would be the right word for such play by the Slytherins. Helen found herself, again, surrounded by the two Slytherin beaters after she caught the quaffle from Alicia. It was whilst she was surrounded, that she felt a searing pain on her right arm. She saw the flash of a knife in Avery's hand and her eyes widened in fear and shock. Dirty was grossly underestimating Slytherin's game. They were playing, literally, to kill.

'Drop it,' leered Avery menacingly.

Helen was on the verge of tears. She dropped the quaffle and Malfoy took it. Her hand started to feel numb as she saw exactly how deep the cut was. Blood had stained her new robes an ever darker scarlet and there was a regular stream of blood dripping from her fingertips, which were turning blue.

She looked wildly around for a way to escape the entrapment. She thought she would try a trick she had always seen in movies.

She gasped and pointed to the ground. It worked. Both of the Slytherin beaters looked down and Helen was able to shoot upwards, out of their death grip on her.

'JAMES CATCH THE BLOODY SNITCH NOW!' Helen screamed at him, trying to dodge the two beaters who were tailing her. She saw a flash of red- the quaffle. She snatched it and realised Nott had dropped it to avoid a bludger. Helen screwed her courage. She dodged something silver and gasped; Avery had actually thrown the knife at her!

At least it was gone now.

She dodged Bellatrix, Malfoy and passed the quaffle to Alicia who scored yet another goal. Clutching her arm in pain, she pulled out the ribbon she had used to tie her hair and tied it tightly around her wound, in a bid to staunch the heavy blood flow. Her long hair now whipped around her and, as she was tying the knot of the ribbon on her arm, she heard Alicia scream, 'HELEN, WATCH OUT!'

Helen managed, last minute, to swerve and avoid the bludger which Avery had just sent at her.

Helen was fed up with the Slytherin beaters. They approached her from opposite directions, their bats raised. Helen stayed put, her heart beating. She heard people screaming for her to move, but she stayed put. Not yet. They were closing in on her… Helen applied all her weight to her broom, moving out of their way last minute. What resulted was a sickening crunch as the two beaters collided. There were cheers from all the houses (except from Slytherin). Helen grinned in spite of herself. At least she had given them a little taste of their own medicine.

Suddenly, the crowd went silent and Helen saw it: the race between James and Himmler for the Snitch. They were neck in neck, but there really was no comparison. James reached out his hand and, finally, closed his hand over the golden snitch, winning the match!

The stadium erupted in cheers. Helen herself had never felt so relieved. She flew over to where her team was only to be blocked by Bellatrix.

'You filthy little mudblood,' she spat. 'You don't deserve to play this game…' she said, pulling on Helen's arm in a feeble attempt to throw Helen off her broom. Bellatrix, however, started screaming at the sight of Helen's blood on her hands.

'ARGH! I'VE GOT MUDBLOOD ON MY HANDS!' she screamed, frantically, flying away.

A large crowd had already encircled the Gryffindor team when Helen landed.

'THERE SHE IS! ASTERIA! IT'S ASTERIA!' a few people cheered, pointing at her.

Helen squeezed through the crowd and found James.

'Took your time,' she grinned, looking at the snitch clutched in his hand.

'You were amazing!' he shouted over the noise of the crowd, hugging her.

'HELEN!' screamed Alicia, hugging her. 'You were brilliant!'

'So were you,' Helen said.

'THE WAY YOU DID THAT CRABBE & AVERY… BRILLIANT!' roared Landers, clapping her on the arm. Helen winced.

'I need to go to Madam Pomfrey,' Helen shouted to James, clutching her arm.

'Why?' James said, looking at her. Then, his eyes fell on Helen's arm.

'WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?' he shouted, incredulous, taking her by the other arm and leading her out of the crowd.

'Avery,' Helen said grimly. 'He had a knife and did it when they had me circled the second time. That's why I dropped the quaffle- he threatened to… Oh my God! Is that how quidditch always is? He threw the bloody thing at me… here it is,' said Helen, picking up the knife from the ground.

James' face went white from shock.

'Wait here,' he said, going over to Madam Hooch.

'Where is it, Asteria?' Madam Hooch said angrily, walking over to Helen with James.

Helen handed over the knife.

'Despicable… Utterly disgusting. You just get yourself to the hospital wing quick smart now, dear,' she said, walking off, very angrily.

* * *

'Well, you're all fine now. I honestly don't know why they still allow that terrible game to be played… Ok. You're free to go,' said Madam Pomfrey, patting Helen's arm.

'Thanks, Madam Pomfrey,' Helen said, getting off the bed.

James got up and they both walked to the common room.

'Not all games are like that… actually, I've never seen that happen before,' said James apologetically.

'Well, except for the death threats, which, I must admit were pretty scary, the rest was amazing!'

'Just wait till we reach the common room!... The celebrations...'

'It was so obvious, how good you are, when you flew against Himmler. You're really amazing at quidditch, James,' Helen said earnestly.

James blushed a little. 'Thanks… but what you did today… and with your arm like that too! Seriously, that was your first match! Imagine what you'll be like after a few more!'

Helen could not help but blush a little too.

* * *

They were greeted to deafening cheers when they entered the common room.

'THEY'RE HERE!!!' everyone cheered.

Helen felt someone lift her up, and then saw it was Landers.

'To our new star!' he roared.

Everyone cheered.

James grinned at Helen. Helen looked around the room and saw Sirius look from Helen to James with a puzzled expression, which turned into an angry expression after James had bent down to tell him something, but then resumed into happiness over the Gryffindor victory.

After Landers finally let go of Helen- he had kissed her on the cheek a few too many times for Helen's comfort- Helen tried to find Lily. After asking a few people, she saw Lily come through the portrait hole.

'Hey! Oh, good! You won!' She said, beaming at Helen.

'You weren't at the match?' asked Helen, incredulously.

'No… well, Severus was kind of…really upset,' Lily muttered, looking away.

Helen rolled her eyes. She knew why Snape wanted to see Lily during the quidditch match, and it had nothing to do with being upset and everything to do with James Potter.

'So, Lils. Are you proud of our Asteria?' said James, coming to Lily and putting and arm around her, to Lily's horror. He was followed by Sirius, Remus and Peter.

'Erm-'

'Did you see how she dodged all those bludgers? And Avery?'

'Oh- yeah- thanks for saving me when I was hanging off my broom,' said Helen, remembering that horrific moment.

'Anytime,' James grinned, winking at her.

'You were hanging off your broom?' Lily asked, horrified.

'By one arm!' said James proudly. Then, suddenly, it dawned on him. 'Hang on- you would have seen that!' he said, looking accusingly at Lily.

'Oh, well, I had something really important come up and…'

'YOU WEREN'T THERE?' roared James.

'James, leave her alone,' said Helen, rolling her eyes and not in the mood to listen to him preach to Lily the importance of Quidditch in one's life.

'Well done, Helen! I couldn't watch during some of it- I had to get Sirius to tell me when it was over!' said Remus, coming over to her and patting her on the back.

Helen glanced at Sirius who was staring at James and Lily's quarrel with a bemused expression on his face.

Remus lowered his voice. 'It was actually quite strange. When Avery knocked you off your broom, Peter and I had to restrain Sirius from cursing him from the crowd.'

'Really?' asked Helen, smiling in surprise.

'Hmm… I just found that strange. You know, seeing that the two of you were not far from murdering each other the other night,' said Remus with a small smile.

Helen laughed. 'You know, I find that strange too. Then again, maybe he wanted to prevent Avery from killing me so that he could do it himself,' Helen offered, laughing.

'Maybe…' Remus laughed, patting her on the back again, before leaving with Peter to get butterbeer.

'Nice broom,' Helen said quietly to Sirius, who was still staring at James and Lily.

Sirius started on hearing her voice, but then, when he turned to face her, smiled.

'Thanks. Nice play. From what I hear, Slytherin played even dirtier than most of us in the crowd thought.'

'You heard correctly,' said Helen grimly, shuddering as Avery's face appeared in her mind's eye.

They stood next to each other a little awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

'James, stop bugging Lily,' Helen said, finally, pulling Lily away from him.

'He drives me crazy!' Lily complained to Helen, dragging her away, who looked back at James apologetically before leaving for the Girls' Dormitories with Lily.

'Are you sure you don't want to stay for the celebrations?' Lily asked Helen.

'Nah, I just want a shower… I didn't get the chance; I had to go straight to Madam Pomfrey- and my bed!'

'Madam Pomfrey?' asked Lily sharply.

'Avery stuck his fucking knife in my arm,' said Helen, still incensed.

'WHAT?' said Lily, storming into the bathroom.

'He stuck his knife in my arm,' replied Helen, from behind the shower curtain.

'Why?' asked Lily, aghast.

'Because he's a bastard who can't lose fair and square,' said Helen simply.

'Oh my God!'

'I know,' said Helen, turning off the water and putting on her bathrobe before walking out.

'He also threw the knife at me, threatened to kill me with it, and hit me in the back with his bat so that I was only hanging onto my broomstick with one arm- that's when James saved me,' Helen added.

'Wow! Did they do this to everyone?' asked Lily, horrified at what she missed.

'No, come to think of it, it was only me. I bet you it's because I'm the only 'mudblood' (as they call me) on the team.'

'Don't say that word,' Lily shuddered.

'Why not? I am what I am. I'm a muggle-born and proud of it! If I can't accept that, then no one can,' Helen said nonchalantly, drying her hair.

Lily frowned. Helen shrugged and walked back into their dormitory, flopping down onto her bed.

'Nothing, not even Black saying that I slept with a million guys, is going to take me away from my bed right now,' said Helen snuggling into her pillow and closing her eyes, exhausted.

* * *

**Well, I had to put a quidditch match in so there it is. I'm not sure about any future ones… depends on whether you liked this. I thought I needed to bring out a bit more blood issues, so I thought this was a good way to do it too... **

**Did we note any tender feelings? **

**Oookay. **

**So**

**Helen is starting to become a bit naughty from now on. I think it's time. She's 14 and is starting to become a bit aware… a bit more Helen-Sirius action too.**

_'we spent about five minutes in the broom cupboard'_- Helen Asteria

**So, ciao for now, (and show me your love with your reviews)**

**Love Anya**


	17. Chapter 17: Heaven Scene Oshot

**After having so many 'Heaven Scene' requests, I woke up this morning and had an idea for such a 'reuninon' scene. Generally, I really dislike 'Heaven' scenes or stories, but I've had so many requests for this that I guess I caved in and finally wrote this oneshot. **

**I'd like to add that this isn't an official part of 'TGM', but a hypothetical oneshot of what it might have been like for Helen and Sirius if they met in the next life.

* * *

**

"_**One short sleep past, we wake eternally, **_

_**And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die."**_

_**- **_**John Donne

* * *

**

**Death, be no Proud**

It was quite surreal- one moment, she had no idea who she was, and the next her mind was sharper than ever.

She knew exactly who she was but, as the memories started to come back to her, she realised that she would have gladly taken her previous madness.

Her madness had numbed the pain which was now growing more acute by the second.

'Where am I, even?' she wondered aloud, frowning as looked around the plain, white room. 'What is this?'

There was a soft laugh behind her and she recognised it instantly. It was as though someone had now stuck a knife in her and was twisting slowly.

Did they have to torture her with the memory of him as well- especially of his laugh, which had always lightened her heart when it was heavy and made her smile?

'This is a horrible nightmare,' she said through gritted teeth, screwing her eyes tightly shut.

'Now, _ma cherie, _that's not very nice at all,' he said comically. 'I've waited quite a while to see you and I've been very patient about it too. And, even though I'm disappointed that you gave up so easily- I actually expected better from you, I really did- the point of the matter is that you're dead and you're here now- with me. Forever.'

He paused and she covered her ears, not wanting to hear any more of his talk which was certainly too good to ever be true.

She always knew that she would go straight to Hell if she died, anyway. Drugs, murder, pre-marital sex, and then adultery… oh no, there was no way she was going anywhere but Hell. Not in a million years, with _her_ record.

He cleared his throat behind her and continued to speak.

'So, as much as the thought of literally spending 'forever' with me might horrify you- I assure you I myself am a bit dubious about how we're going to survive. You see, up here, there's a bit of a 'keeping your voice down' policy which means you won't be able to shout at me as often as would you probably like to. I should also add that we've also lost all our magic up here, so you won't be able to use your wandless magic on me either.'

He paused, and added as an afterthought-

'Yeah, I'm really glad about that. I won't lie.'

'Why are you doing this to me,' she whispered in a tortured voice.

'Doing what?' he said politely. 'I'm actually just trying to say hello after all these years, but you don't seem to want to know me anymore. I always knew you were a heart-breaker, _ma cherie,_ but I'll admit that I sort of expected a warmer reunion.'

'You're not real.'

'Well, that may very well be- but the reverse could be said for you. I don't think any of us quite understand how it works up here- but I don't think any of us care either. To be honest- after life on earth- it's really just very nice to stop questioning things and just be happy that we're together, up here- wherever we are.'

'What are you on about?' she breathed, still refusing to turn around.

He fell silent for a moment, and then suddenly felt his throat constricting.

'Do… do you know who I am? Don't… don't you remember? I… I know you sort of lost it towards the end, but I thought you'd get that all back once you… _died._ You look like you did when you were nineteen, so you must have everything else back too…'

He trailed off.

'Unless you've just forgotten _me_,' he said quietly.

Suddenly she turned around, her eyes wide and furious.

'Forgotten you?' she screeched, hitting him furiously. '_Forgotten_ you? _YOU!_ My entire life has been about _trying _to forget you but you're like a permanent sticking charm- you never go away. You never left once I forgot my own name, even! You…. How _dare_ you sit there thinking that I've forgotten you when I'm trying to ignore the fact that I'm having a very clear dream, for once, and that you're haunting it yet again. Don't you care about me at all? Why do you have to be here in my dreams?'

Tears streaked down her cheeks.

'Don't you know how hard it is for me?' she sobbed, still hitting him weakly. 'To wake up every morning- as mad as Circe, again- and realise that you're just a dream?'

He was silent and she looked up at his eyes and choked back a sob and ran to the opposite corner of the room.

'Oh no… no…. please just go away. It's always much worse when…'

He walked over to where she was slowly and, without saying anything, took her hands from her face and kissed her.

It was so painful, because this certainly felt far more real than any of her other dreams. For one, she could _feel _his lips on hers, could _taste_ his lips…

She was quite sure than none of the other dreams made such vivid use of her senses.

He pulled away and frowned. She groaned because, as painful as she knew it would be when she woke up, she now missed the contact which she yearned for so desperately.

'You really don't believe this is real?' he said.

She started in shock as she properly looked at him for the first time.

'You're so young!' she exclaimed.

He laughed at her.

'So are you, _ma cherie_,' he said, motioning to the wall where a mirror had appeared. 'Look'.

She looked over to the mirror and gasped.

'But… I look like I'm nineteen! How! None of the dreams…'

'Okay, _ma cherie,_ you really have to get over this 'dream' thing. As sad as it is, you're dead now and there's no going back.'

She crossed her arms, watching him suspiciously.

'The real Sirius wouldn't be happy about my dying,' she sniped.

He rolled his eyes.

'Well, you weren't much use on earth the way you were drinking yourself to stupidity every night- not to mention your mad fits- so I have to say that- after watching you ruin yourself so spectacularly for the past ten years- watching you die was actually much less painful than I always thought it'd be.'

He paused and shrugged.

'Plus, there's now the fact that you're finally here… so I suppose I'm a bit selfish as well in that respect.'

She wanted to believe him. She really did.

'Prove it,' she said, her voice shaking with trepidation. 'Prove to me that I'm dead.'

'Oh for God's sake, Sirius, I can't take this any more. We all agreed that you'd get to have time with her first- but you're absolutely hopeless! You're getting nowhere and I can't stand watching this anymore. Plus, it's been thirteen extra years since I've seen her.'

Helen's eyes widened and she turned to see Lily barging in the room, her hands on her hips.

'Oh my God,' Helen whispered, starting to hyperventilate.

She saw James and Remus entering the room as well, and clutched at her heart, breathing shallowly.

'Oh no…'

'Oh yes. I know it's hard to accept that you're dead, but…'

'No!' Helen shook her head. 'This would just be too _good!_ But I'm meant to go to Hell...'

Lily rolled her eyes.

'There's no such thing, as far as I'm concerned. Well, there _could _be, but I haven't heard anyone talking about it in the twenty-or-so years I've been up here. Anyway, you wouldn't go to Hell.'

'Are you joking? The things I've done…'

Lily rolled her eyes again.

'Perhaps in another era you would have gone to 'Hell' (if it exists) but…'

Lily laughed drily.

'You were born in Voldemort's era so, after everything his Death Eaters have done, you're like a spotless rose in comparison, if this is 'Heaven' then I suppose the standards would have to have dropped quite severely. Consider yourself lucky.'

Helen frowned and stared at them all, lost for words.

'I must say, I expected a warmer welcome,' James frowned. 'And to think I always defended you when Sirius called you a 'cold bitch'.'

Helen continued to stare at them dumbly, but then she remembered what obviously made this situation a dream, and not real.

'Where's Marina?'

James groaned and Remus' face crumpled a he ran from the room.

'Now Moony's going to go have a crying fit again. _Thanks_ Helen.'

'Why…'

Lily sighed heavily.

'Marina… she killed herself.'

Helen looked at Lily as though she was crazy.

'Killed herself? I thought you said we were all dead, already?'

'We are.'

'So how can she 'kill' herself when she's already dead?'

Lily looked down at her hands.

'Well that's just it- you can. But once you kill yourself up here, you… you can't ever come back. Your soul is lost. Forever.'

'So Marina's just… gone?' Helen said, feeling a wringing pain in her chest. 'Why would she do that?'

Sirius sat next to Helen.

'Helen, think of it in these terms- you married Theo, right?'

Helen hung her head.

'You're never going to forgive me, are you?' she whispered heavily.

'No, that's not my point. Right. So… just imagine that, after I died, you actually fell in love with him for real and ended up dying loving him more than you ever loved me.'

'Well that's just a stupid…'

'Okay, but I'm just trying to explain a point here. The point is, if you and he died, and came up here- what would you both do? And what would _I_ do? When _I _died, _I _was the one you loved- and no one else- but when _you_ died, you would have loved Theo just as much- if not more- than me.'

'So…'

'Just wait. So now imagine Marina. When she died, Remus loved her. Of course she wanted him to move on with his life and was happy for him when he did with Tonks…. But then when he died, she realised that she would be left on the side. Everyone else had their other halves- I had you, despite everything with Theo, James had Lily… but Remus had Tonks when he died. And they had a child together as well. No matter what Marina _had been_ to Remus, it wouldn't have compared to what he had with Tonks in the end.'

'So she just killed herself?' Helen said angrily. 'And you all _let _her?'

'We didn't let her,' Lily said quietly. 'We didn't realise all this until it was too late.'

They sat in silence.

'So she killed herself because she didn't want to be alone,' Helen said, feeling a tightness in her chest.

'Helen, what it is now… it's for eternity. If I had to spend all of eternity watching you being in love with Theo; knowing that I was just a phase of your past… I'd rather be gone forever as well.'

'So you agree with this, then!' Helen said angrily.

Sirius shook his head.

'No, but I think I can understand it just a bit better than you or anyone else can, because it was nearly me.'

Helen hit him.

'Nearly you?' she half-shouted. 'It was never even _close_ to being nearly you! It's always been about you, you self-centred, egotistical…'

'Oh Lord,' Lily sighed. 'An eternity of _this_. I must say, it was really quiet before you came here, Helen, and you've only been here for an hour.'

Helen stopped shouting and looked to Lily and James.

'I want to believe you all, but I still don't. And I'm not going to say hello to you properly unless you prove this isn't a dream.'

Lily sighed.

'I'll just be a moment,' she said, walking from the room.

'So Marina isn't here,' Helen wondered as she waited. 'I… It just seems like the most terrible thing- being lost forever. And I never properly told her that I had forgiven her…'

'She knew, Helen,' James said. 'She knew you had forgiven her.'

Helen's shoulders slumped, and then she remembered how Anka had never forgiven her.

'You lied,' she said quietly to Sirius. 'You said that Anka would forgive me. You were certain of it.'

Sirius took her hand and kissed it.

'I know. I thought she would, but she ended up disappointing me. If it makes you feel better, she's forgiven you now.'

'How do you know?' Helen breathed.

'I saw,' Sirius said simply, nodding as Lily walked in the room, carrying a crystal orb.

'Okay, Helen,' Lily said. 'Perhaps if you see your dead body, and everything that came after it you'll finally believe us.'

Helen nodded and looked in the crystal orb. She saw her dead body- so much older than what she now looked- in the bath tub, she saw the detectives clearing up, the next daughter of Asteria…

'Seems like you never broke the curse, after all,' Sirius mused.

Helen looked worried.

'But I never made arrangements for her. What will…'

'Just wait,' he whispered reassuringly.

Helen continued to watch, and then gasped in pain as she saw Anka arriving at the flat.

'My girl,' she whispered. 'She's… she came?'

Sirius nodded and kissed her temple.

She continued to watch as Anka took the box of memories, and then watched through them. And then, how Anka went to the hospital and took the next 'Daughter' so that she could look after her.

'See,' Sirius whispered to Helen, who had tears streaming down her cheeks, 'She forgives you.'

And it was then, that Helen finally accepted that she was dead. She could, because now she knew that Anka would be fine without her and would never make repeat her mistakes.

She turned suddenly to Sirius and hugged him tightly.

'It's real,' she whispered against his chest. 'I'm really dead!'

James chuckled from behind her.

'I think you'll be hard-pressed to find as many people up here who were as happy about that news as you are.'

Helen's eyes widened and she suddenly went to James and hugged him tightly.

'You! You died on me… I could kill you! Do you know how hard it was when I found you…. And you, Lily!'

She pulled Lily to her and hugged her tightly as well.

'You both…. You…'

Lily had tears in her eyes and Helen kissed her cheek.

'I'm so sorry,' she said guiltily. 'I was meant to look after Harry. I wanted to; I really did, but Dumbledore…'

'It's okay, Helen,' James reassured her. 'It was the right thing in the end. Dumbledore was right.'

Helen glowered.

'For once.'

Lily smiled kindly.

'And Remus has gone?' Helen asked, looking around for her other friend.

'He'll be inconsolable for the next hour or so,' James sighed. 'He's very guilty about moving on.'

Helen sighed.

'It wasn't his fault,' she said sadly. 'I think Marina would have known that as well.'

James nodded.

'She did, but he can't understand that. He feels guilty regardless of what we try to tell him.'

Helen sighed and glanced at Sirius.

'I can understand that as well.'

Lily and James exchanged a glance.

'We have forever to catch up,' Lily said, smiling a little, 'so I think James and I will leave you for a bit, now that we've finally convinced you that you're dead.'

'But…'

James winked at her and he and Lily left without another word.

'Why did they go?' Helen said sadly, as they left. 'I wasn't ready for them to leave again!'

Sirius said nothing but sat down on the white couch and looked at his hands. Suddenly, Helen understood why they had left. She sat on the couch gingerly, leaving a gap between her and Sirius.

'You left me. You left just when we were meant to be together… forever.'

'I know.'

'It killed me.'

'I know.'

'I couldn't even go on pretending to love Theo. I know I didn't have any real reason to leave him, but I couldn't go on pretending once you had gone. Not even for Anka.'

Sirius remained silent.

She stared at the white wall, ahead of them.

'What have you been doing here for the past ten years? _Is_ there anything to do here?'

Sirius didn't respond right away.

'I've been waiting,' he said slowly. 'And watching.'

'That's it?' Helen said in disbelief. 'Just watching and waiting.'

'Yes.'

'So that's all we're going to do forever? Watch and wait?'

'Even if there was something else to do, I wouldn't have done it. You'll see- you won't want to miss anything. I sort of had three people to watch.'

'Three?'

'You and Anka, and Harry.'

He paused.

'Watching you was the worst- the hardest. Didn't you pity me up here at all? Having to watch you hurt yourself so much?'

'Didn't you think of me when you ran off to the Department of Mysteries?' Helen shot. 'Or Anka?'

'Harry needed me.'

'He needed you even more once you'd gone, but you weren't there for him, were you?'

Sirius sighed, and they continued to sit, apart, looking at the wall.

Helen cleared her throat quickly.

'How…. How did it happen, anyway? I kept having nightmares about it, but no one ever told me what happened exactly.'

'I know.'

'You seem to know a lot, but don't do much talking for all your 'knowledge',' Helen said drily.

A small smile flitted across Sirius' lips, but he still made no move to be closer to her, or catch her eye.

'It was Bellatrix.'

'No.'

Sirius looked up at her, to see her staring at him in disbelief.

'Bellatrix,' she said dully. '_She_ killed you?'

'Sort of. It was partly her, and partly a veil.'

Helen looked incredulous.

'A veil, Sirius? How the fuck does a _veil_, kill you? I swear to God, Sirius, you had better have a good explanation for your death or else I'll kill you all over again.'

Sirius laughed a little, in spite of himself.

'Well, at the Department of Mysteries there's this podium and behind it is this veil.'

'There was never a body.'

'I know- because the veil crosses 'life' and 'death'. Anyone who goes behind the veil, crosses to the other world.'

'Oh!' Helen exclaimed. 'Oh _really!_ So you _chose_ to leave then. I swear I'll kill you, Sirius Black!'

Sirius laughed and reached out to touch her face, but Helen slapped his hand away angrily.

'Keep explaining, _mon cheri_,' she said acidly.

'Okay, so Bellatrix and I were duelling on the podium, and she sent this curse at me which sort of made me lose my balance…. And I fell through the veil…. And died.'

He bit his lip nervously as he saw how murderous Helen looked.

'You mean to tell me,' she whispered dangerously, 'that I've suffered all these years, because you were balance-challenged?'

'Er….'

'Do you have _any_ idea what I've gone through? _Any _idea at all?'

'Yes,' Sirius said quietly. 'Yes, I really do.'

The anger on Helen's face quickly changed to grief.

'I…'

Sirius pulled her to him and kissed her, softly at first, but then more passionately. His hand found its way to her hair whilst his other held her around the waist, pulling her more closely to him.

And then, it was as though all those years of waiting, of separation, became a hazy memory. Because, at that moment, her lips, her scent- it was all so familiar to him that it was as though they had never been parted.

He rested his forehead against hers.

'Yes, I really do, _ma cherie._ No one else has waited for their other as much as I've had to wait for you. They were lucky- James and Lily were together from the beginning, as was Remus and Tonks…But you— I've had to wait for you.'

'We've always been waiting for each other,' Helen said miserably. 'Or separated. It's not fair. It was never fair that we were always being kept apart.'

Sirius kissed her again.

'But that's the wonderful thing about what we have now,' he whispered against her lips. 'We'll never have to be separated again.'

Helen looked up at him, her eyes searching his own. He cupped her cheek and lightly traced her high cheekbone with his thumb.

'We're just together from now on?' she said, the fact finally registering in her mind.

He nodded and smiled at her.

'This is what I've waited so patiently for so long. Just to have you- forever. No Theo, no Voldemort, no war or anything else to keep us apart. Just….us.'

He frowned as Helen suddenly tore away from him and put her face in her hands, sobbing.

'What's wrong?' he said, sounding worried. 'I… well, of course you can have a break from me every now and then if you get sick of me…'

She suddenly pushed him down on the couch and kissed him fervently.

'Have a break from you? I've had a break from you my entire life! When do I actually get to _have_ you?' she exclaimed.

He smiled at her and toyed with a tendril of her long hair.

'Now,' he smiled, kissing her lips lingeringly.

More tears slid down her cheeks.

'I don't understand why you're crying,' he said, frowning at her.

'Because,' Helen said, sitting up and wiping her cheeks. 'It's too good. All my life- nothing has _ever _gone my way. Nothing has ever worked out and this- this is too perfect. I know in a way that something will give very soon and take everything you've promised away from me.'

Sirius smiled and kissed her cheek softly.

'Ah, but _ma cherie, _there is one vital flaw in your reasoning.'

'And what's that?' Helen said dully.

Sirius smiled easily.

'This isn't life- this is death. We both fucked life up quite spectacularly, I think, but now we have the chance to start afresh.'

Helen's eyes lit up as she realised the truth in Sirius' words, but then laughed.

'So we were bad at life, but will be excellent at being dead?'

'I think so,' Sirius said mildly, his lips twitching. 'After all- we're quite clever, I'm sure we'll figure it out.'

Helen laughed.

'Death is seriously under-rated,' she said, hugging him to her tightly and then kissing him. 'It sounds so funny to say this, but I love being dead! Why didn't I think to die earlier?'

Sirius laughed a little, but then smiled bitterly.

'I don't know that everyone else feels the way about death up here,' he said slowly. 'I think it's quite a sad reflection on our lives that we prefer being dead.'

Helen shrugged nonchalantly.

'If I have you- forever- and James, Lily and Remus… I don't think I could want anything else. If Anka has forgiven me and is finally making her life right, from my death… then in death I think I've gained everything and lost nothing.'

Sirius smiled sadly.

'_Ma cherie_?'

'Yes?'

'Did I ever tell you that you have quite a fucked up mind?'

'I believe so.'

They laughed and Sirius kissed her again.

'So we're both dead, now. You know, I always wished that it would be like this when I died, but then didn't want to because I was certain that I was going to Hell.'

'And what made you think that _I_ wouldn't end up there?'

'What did you ever do that was so bad?'

'Oh, I only defiled sixty-six girls of their honour, did drugs, had an affair with you, killed many death eaters… really, we both tick a lot of the same boxes. In fact, I think I deserve Hell even _more_ than you ever could.'

Helen shook her head at him and he kissed her again.

'But the wonderful thing about all of this is that none of that matters anymore. It's all in the past now. In a way, I think we were lucky to have the lives we did.'

'Lucky?' Helen exclaimed incredulously.

Sirius nodded sagely.

'Yes. Because it makes us appreciate what we have now so much more. You have no idea how many people have spent decades of death mourning the loss of their life, whereas you and I are quite happy to spend forever simply with each other and our friends.'

Helen smiled at Sirius.

'What?' he frowned.

'You've become quite the wise one, up here, haven't you?'

Sirius grinned.

'Trust me, James and I have our moments…'

Helen smiled sadly.

'You would have been happy to see him again,' she said quietly. 'I know you missed him so much.'

Sirius nodded.

'I was happy- but death was bittersweet for me because I knew what I was missing out on. I knew that if I hadn't died, you and I might have had a chance to be a family with Anka as we always should have been- that I was causing you so much pain, and also abandoning Harry… So, as happy as I was to see James and Lily again, it was also very hard for me to accept.'

Helen fell silent.

'So, really,' he continued. 'Death seems to have been the easiest for you.'

'I…'

Helen trailed off.

'I do wish I could still have one time to talk to Anka- to hug her and know that she forgives me.'

Sirius took her hand and kissed her.

'One day. When she is hopefully ancient and after she's lived a wonderful life, you will get that chance. But not now.'

Helen shook her head vehemently.

'No, not now.'

Sirius nodded and Helen stared at him.

'What?'

She shook her head.

'I just…I still can't believe it's you.'

'You know, that poem was sort of right,' Sirius said quietly.

'What poem?' Helen frowned.

'That one you loved- that John Donne one.'

'Oh, right,' Helen said.

She had long forgotten poetry.

Sirius continued.

'When it said- 'if our two loves be one, or thou and I love so alike that none can slacken, none can die''

Helen continued to stare at him and he looked at her seriously.

'Well, it's true. We still love each other, even though we're dead,' he said.

Helen suddenly hugged her to him tightly.

'I really hope this isn't a dream,' she whispered. 'And if it is, I don't ever want to wake up, because I don't want you to leave. Ever again.'

Sirius grinned.

'I hope you still feel the same way about me after a century, _ma cherie._'

Helen looked horrified.

'A _century_!'

'Well this _is_ forever…'

'A century of just us? Oh Lord, we're going to kill each other…'

Sirius laughed and put his arm around her.

'Yep, _ma cherie, _just you and me… _forever._'

Helen smiled at Sirius and interlaced her fingers with his.

'Can we get married, this time?'

'And divorced and remarried as many times as we like.'

Helen smiled.

'Then I think dying is one of the best things that ever happened to me.'

And with that, Helen kissed Sirius, and thus began their deaths- together, forever.

* * *

**As always, I'd love to know your thoughts so reviews would be much appreciated!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


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